Hi cma1209, and welcome to the Focus Parenting Community, it's good to have you here.
First of all, congratulations on your new marriage! I'm so sorry you and your husband are dealing with this. Blending families can often be a very difficult task, as you are experiencing first-hand. It is evident that the two of you are trying to parent with love and wisdom, and it absolutely breaks my heart that the concerns you expressed are so common. We've heard from many others in a similar situation, such as here, here, and here. Since you mentioned that your husband's eight year-old is having a hard time adjusting to your new marriage, have you considered taking him to counseling to help him work through these feelings? Our staff of counselors can recommend a Christian counselor in your area, as well as offer you some helpful advice and encouragement regarding how to find that delicate balance of parenting in a blended family. Recognizing that this can be an emotional and confusing time for children, we have many articles and resources available here, here, and here to equip you as parents to come alongside him during this period of readjustment. I would also highly recommend Ron Deal's book, The Smart Step-Family, which provides Biblical solutions to many of the issues faced in a blended family, such as learning to communicate with ex-spouses, discipline, stepfathers assuming spiritual headship of the family, and common pitfalls. The articles here provide a brief, yet helpful, introduction to the book's content.
I will be praying for everyone involved in this situation, asking the Lord to grant you and your husband an abundance of wisdom and discernment as you continue to seek Him in your parenting. Praying John 3:21 over you:
"But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
Stay in touch and let me know how it's going, OK?
Erika
FOTF Moderator
