I hope that anything I say, will be of hope and help to others out there dealing with a spouse who is a Sex Addict. I posted on here about 2 weeks ago before I confronted my husband. He agreed to seek the help of a counselor and we had our first visit.

The therapist was very good and direct. It is going to be a long hard road to get through this and there will be bad days and good days. But I feel compelled to share some things that may be of hope and encouragement to others.

First, I learned that a sex addict comes in different forms, lets just say if it has to do with sex in any way shape or form it can be addicting.

But what was so interesting and pivitol was that certain things happened to my husband as a small child that "imprinted" him with what was "normal" in his life.  Naturally, we think, oh he must have been molested, not necessarily. He could have been dressed a certain way to make him think it was normal, he could have been caressed a way that felt good imprinting him to believe that it was okay to do a certain action. He could have been shown photos and told it was okay. Any one of these things could change a child's  way of portraying sex and thinking it was normal and okay. I think it is important for us, wives in paticular, to understand this because I didn't. I just felt like I was not satisfying him enough or I was inadequate. Not True!

I learned that the addict's actions will only get worse over time almost enjoying or seeking the "dangerous" side of the addiction. That is where my husband has landed. On the dangerous side of getting caught in the act.

My anger and hurt left me after learning more from the sex therapist and I began to feel complete and total sadness for my husband. Don't get me wrong, our marriage is in trouble, but to know that it's not just something someone does, but something that may have happened to anyone to make them want to look at or act out inapportiately was dishearting for me. It opened my eyes to something much bigger.

I am no expert and far from learning all there is to learn abou this beast, but I take my vows seriously and therefore take my marriage seriously. I want to help him and me and maybe you, who feels as I have....all alone.

Over 600 people viewed my posting on Confronting a Sex Addict, so I know there is someone out there hurting like me. Someone who fears the things I did and still do. Please know you are not alone.

I have begun to rely on God so much more...I am learning to trust Him again and trying not to worry. It seems like every time I step into church there is a sermon preached that I can utilize with my handling of this. I pray my marriage will survive....I pray harder for my husbands healing. And I pray for you out there who is struggling.

It is a crude word, Sex Addict, one with many misconceptions and distorted ideas. But we are ALL God's chidlren and I know He wouldn't want us to feel outside the box or alone. There is help. Seek help. It feels better to talk about this and face it head on, no matter how difficult. There are people out there who are equipped to handle these types of addictions. Whether you have the problem or your spouse does, there is help.

Thank you FOTF for the counseling link to find therapists, you are a God-send.