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277 Views 2 Replies Last post: Feb 12, 2010 11:26 AM by daughterofking RSS
redeemed22407 Community Member
redeemed22407
9 posts since
Dec 31, 2009
Currently Being Moderated

Feb 8, 2010 10:04 AM

ADHD...to medicate or not

Our 6 yr old son was diagnosed with ADHD.  This does not come as a huge shock.  His behavior has been disruptive in Sunday School, Kindergarten & most definitely at home.  We also have 2 daughters, age 7 & 8, who have suffered at the hand of his impulsivity & lack of self control.  Some days seem to be worse than others.  But recently I think I've had mini emotional breakdowns about 2 times a week due to the struggles of dealing with him.  I have thoughts of just giving up & running away.  I struggle with anger & feel like I'm just not the right mom to deal with him.  Like I'm doing more harm than good.  I homeschool my daughters & was going to homeschool him as well but it was just too difficult.  We sent him to public school for Kindergarten thinking the structured enviroment might do him good.  He has thrived there & has learned so much.  It was extremely challenging to homeschool the girls when he was here.  With him at school our days have gone much better.  But within 10 minutes of him arriving home from school, there is some kind of chaos or problem.  It's such an emotional rollercoaster.  I'm so happy to see him get off the bus but then I'm angry within a few minutes when the problems arise.  Now that we have the official diagnosis, we have to decide what to do about it.  We have always been leery of medication.  It doesn't take long when doing research on the internet to see there are 2 very strong opinions about the issue.  Of course his doctor tells us it is safe & has been used for years.  She also says it is good to be cautious but to weigh the risks against the benefits.  Considering the emotinal toll this is taking on our family I'm beginning to think medicine might be something to consider.  BUT that is really difficult for me to even say.  Do we pray for God to heal him & stand in faith for that to happen?  Or is the medicine God's means of "healing"?  This is such a big & hard decision to make.  One thing that makes it more difficult is to realize that his behavior doesn't just affect us but his class at school, at church etc.  We won't make a decision based soley on the fact of trying to make other people happy but we do want to consider that.  We live with him so we know how hard it can be to deal with him when he is out of control.  There are so many good qualities about him.  He has good manners, a great sense of humor, he can be such a sweetheart at times but due to the ADHD a lot of his good qualities can be so easily overlooked.  Are we doing him an injustice by not putting him on medicine?  He is constantly being corrected & told what he is doing wrong.  This is hard on him as much as us.  So, if anyone can relate & has some advice, guidance or encouragement it would be greatly appreciated.
Tags: health_children, learning_discipline
CarolynFOTF Focus Employee
CarolynFOTF
115 posts since
Jun 23, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
1. Feb 9, 2010 2:19 PM in response to: redeemed22407
Re: ADHD...to medicate or not

Hi redeemed22407,

 

Thanks for opening up about the frustrations, and even the joys , of raising your little boy.  He sounds like quite a handful, but it's obvious he's very much loved by his family.

 

The impulse to give up and run away is quite common among parents of ADHD children.   You're certainly not alone in these feelings, and other parents have also wrestled with that question of whether or not to medicate their kiddos.  Perhaps it would help you to read some of their stories and see some of the advice that is shared.  You can check out a few of those by clicking here, here, and especially here, where one of our staff counselors weighed in.  As you'll notice, medicating or praying for healing may not be the only two options available to you.

 

Another tool that might help you is the book, Why ADHD Doesn't Mean Disaster.  We also have several articles on the topic of ADHD that may interest you.

 

If you think it might be good to talk with a professional who has experience, or you just need to vent , you're more than welcome to call one of our counselors.  The service is free, and they've been helpful to so many parents in your shoes.

 

I'll be lifting you and your family up in prayer, redeemed22407.  God grant you wisdom, patience, and perseverance for the task of raising your children to follow our Lord.

 

Bless you,

Carolyn
FOTF Moderator

daughterofking Community Member
daughterofking
1 posts since
Feb 12, 2010
Currently Being Moderated
2. Feb 12, 2010 12:04 PM in response to: redeemed22407
Re: ADHD...to medicate or not
Hi redeemed22407 - I have a 12 y/o that was diagnosed with ADHD about 6 years ago.  We have Nicholas on  medication for school only.  He is not on it on the weekends or for the summer.  I completely understand your concerns.  We are not especially happy with the decision to go with medication, however, for our sanity and relationships at home and at school it was the better decision.  I also understand your feelings of inadequacy, frustration, guilt and everything else that goes along with raising a child with ADHD.  We have a blended family which only adds to the pot.  It has gotten easier as Nicholas has matured with age.  Many prayers and scripture verses have been said and continue to be said.  You are not a bad mother. I am not a bad mother.  I can relate to the chaos and dysfunction that can occur and spin out of control very quickly in our home. I have learned to not REACT  but to RESPOND, which is not always easy especially when I have my own perimenopause going on.  But God is always FAITHFUL and GOOD and HE has been changing me, (because that is all I can do), into being the mother He intends me to be, living in the fruits of the spirit.  Spending time in GOd's word is a MUST for me.  I cannot do it without HIM.  You are not alone in your feelings!!!  Don't beat yourself up.  Go to God with everything.  Medication does help.  Summers are tough without the meds.  It's a personnel decision.  And you are right- the child's self esteem plummets because it is a constant barrage of correction.  Pick your battles!!  Make things easier, look for strategies to deal with the issues. Get information.   Uncondtional love and I am sorry has helped.  I loose it sometimes, but I am getting better!  We all love our children and the days we realize we don't like them or the things they do (which happens more than not with ADHD) does not mean your a bad mother.  Get breaks!!  God is with us!!  I'll pray for you and your family.  Love in Christ!!

 

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