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691 Views 2 Replies Last post: Feb 7, 2010 11:13 PM by sarahnader RSS
Philadi Community Member
Philadi
1 posts since
Dec 23, 2009
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Dec 23, 2009 3:17 PM

Grandparents adopt grandchildren

We recently adopted our grandchildren.  Two little girls, ages 5 & 9.  This adoption took place after a long series of events where the parents' rights were terminated.  The former parents were given a lot of time to become responsible parents and decided to go their own way instead.  The grandparents on the fathers side of the family try to maintain some contact with the girls a couple of times per year, like on holidays.  Other than that - we don't hear from them very much.  We really would like to drop all contact with that side of the family because of the low moral values in their families, lack of religious ethics, etc.  What do you think about us severing this relationship.
Tags: communication, adoption, grandparents
ErikaFOTF Focus Employee
ErikaFOTF
276 posts since
Mar 19, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
1. Dec 28, 2009 8:46 AM in response to: Philadi
Re: Grandparents adopt grandchildren

Welcome to the community, Philadi, I'm so glad you have posted your question here.  I look forward to hearing the community's thoughts. 

 

In the meantime, I just wanted to commend you and your husband for your courage and selflessness in adopting your granddaughters.  While I recognize that your task may seem difficult at times and that certain struggles may accompany your second time around as “parents,” I want to encourage you that the Lord has granted you a unique opportunity to have a significant impact on your grandchildren’s lives and spiritual heritage as you provide training, correction, and above all, love.  When you feel incapable of the demands that lie before you, we hope you will find comfort in the Bible’s promise that God’s grace is sufficient, no matter the circumstance (II Corinthians 12:9). 

 

If you would like to discuss your specific question regarding whether or not you should sever ties with the other grandparents with a caring professional, please feel free to give one of our counselors a call.  They are wonderful people who have been helpful to many others and would be honored to speak with you.  Please know I will pray that the Lord grant you an abundance of wisdom, guidance, and strength in the days ahead.  Let us know how things are going!

 

Erika

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sarahnader Community Member
sarahnader
16 posts since
Jan 31, 2010
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2. Feb 8, 2010 5:55 AM in response to: Philadi
Re: Grandparents adopt grandchildren

Philadi,

When I was 18 my parents adopted my cousins baby, their grand-niece.  There were similar reasons why her parents didn't stick around.  I think it is wise of you to limit or monitor the contact that your granddaughters have with anyone who might have a negative impact on them but I'm not sure that severing ties completely is the best plan.  The great thing about adopting with in your own family is that you know about your child's heritage but someday they will likely want to know their heritage from the other side of the family and you may want to have established at least some type of relationship with those people so it won't cause stress on all sides.  If they only want to contact for Christmas and birthdays that doesn't sound like they are being too invasive in their lives and shouldn't have that bad of an effect. I think that it would be nice for the girls to grow up knowing that they are loved by both sides of their family tree.  And if you are raising them to be morally sound than they will likely be able to discern that the way their paternal family is living isn't the way that God would have them live.

You sound like you have your granddaughter's best interest at heart.  I'm sure that you will prayerfully consider your options and make the right decision either way.

God bless,

~sarahnader~

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