Thanks Saranader for the last post.  I think we are dealing with similar guys.  I am doing the best I can and hoping and literally praying some days that it can get better here.  My husband is a videogamer, so I think he has an extra hard time relating to other folks, at times.  I try to be understanding and I have told him directly how I feel, but I think until he gets more mature, he isn't going to "get it."  I am not sure he has the skills too at this point in time.   I'm sure he will change if we had kids, but whether or not I would factor into the conversation is questionable at best, in my mind.  I think it comes from being a little selfish and a few years older than me.

I have set up some ground rules of no work talk on date night, and I am calling him out on it more, when he calls and talks about work only, in a non-threatening way.  It makes me feel like one of his work friends, to be honest.

I know some other guys can turn it off when they are out with their girlfriends.  I have mentioned how would he feel if the tables where turned, that did help a little.

One of the hardest things for me has been, if I call from home, that's considered "bothering him" and not the other way around.  Whatever happens at the house with your family is actually more important, imo.  But that is a diffference between us.  I have worked in the past so I have sympathy, but I never had that attitude even then.  I assume he got it from his dad, but I am going to insist on changing things a little.

Best wishes for your situation.

Thanks again for your response.  I complete agree with what you said, but my spouse was trying to mention that he will one day morph into doing things better, unfortunately, though, things are getting some harder over time.  I believe he may be depressive at this point.  It has been stressful, but I think he believes what he is saying.  I have decided not to have a child with this person right now, and actually I have given it a few years.  I am not seeing the improvement I need to, I have asked him to save some money, look for a better job, find a place in the house for a nursery and none of those things are any further along than they were before.  I also asked him to go get help for depression, he has only gone about four times over three years, and has quit going for a few months.  I don't think he is fully honest with them when he is there, or I believe he might have gotten some better help.  He does not want to admit that, but in the end he will hurt himself.  I tried to get him to get better work, start his own company, just nothing.  He is choosing to work a lot lesser job that he could do, despite having an advanced education. I do not think he handles stress very well, he is a chronic overeater as well.

He has repeatedly made fun of my housewife role.  I have asked him to stop the personal attacks.  His own mom is a housewife.  I have no respect in the house now, and I will go where I do in the future.  I don't really know how to change that.

I am doing my best to have a life outside the marriage.  I have made some friends in the church, don't know what I would do without those people.

I hope your situation turns around.