Up to Discussions in Spouses
7,963 Views 16 Replies Last post: Jul 26, 2010 8:52 PM by Lookingfordirection RSS Go to original post 1 2 Previous Next
Focus Employee
pastoral-jan
57 posts since
Feb 13, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
15. Jan 26, 2010 11:19 AM in response to: netzar
Re: husband...text messages...calls...another woman...."friendship"

Hi, Netzar.

 

Thanks for your interest in our Pastoral Families Online Community. But, based on what you have shared, I'm assuming that you may not be a member of a pastor's family.

 

To better connect with others who are like-minded, I'm suggesting that you consider posting in our Relationships and Marriage Community. I want to make sure that you are plugged in with the right peers and that you don't limit the help that you and your husband can receive.

 

Many blessings and thanks for your understanding.

Jan

Lookingfordirection Community Member
Lookingfordirection
1 posts since
Jul 26, 2010
Currently Being Moderated
16. Jul 27, 2010 9:13 AM in response to: ministrylady220
Re: husband...text messages...calls...another woman...."friendship"
I am also a pastor's wife of many years.  I recently found some correspondence that proved my pastor husband was having an inappropriate relationship (emotionsl, physical, not sexual he has said) with a woman in our church.  She is involved in most of the ministries that he is directly involved in both in the church and in the community.  They have been texting many times, emailing many times, calling many times, and meeting many times.  This has been going on for about a year as far as I can tell.  He didn't stop the relationship even though he says he felt such guilt each time they were together or when he thought of her.  That is a very hard thing to get out of my mind.  He didn't stop the relationship, he got caught in it.  That was several weeks ago.  He says they have had no contact since.  He has resigned his pastorate (was asked to by church leadership), and resigned all other community ministries.  He says he now sees his sin and has been forgiven by the Lord.  He says he now only wants to restore our marriage and wants me to commit to reconcile right now.  I am still shocked by the fact that I am even having to deal with this in my family.  I didn't have a clue that there was anything wrong with our marriage.  He was gone much of the time working at church, visiting, and working with his other ministries.  I just accepted that as part of my role as the pastor's wife.  He was too busy for his wife and family because he was helping everyone else in our church and our town.  I do not know what God would have me to do in this situation.  I really don't.  I know He doesn't like divorce, but he doesn't like adultery either.  I am praying for clear direction in this situation.  Sometimes I don't even know what to pray.  I do know that the Holy Spirit takes our groanings to God for us when we don't even have the words to say.  I'm very torn.  My husband says he never stopped loving me, still loves me and desparately wants our marriage saved.  My thoughts and emotions are so scattered that I really don't know what to do. I don't know if I can believe what he says now since he has lost everything.  What else is someone going to say when they have messed up their life so much?    I pray for you and others I have read about tonight and I will ask you to pray for my situation too.  The other family affected by this situation needs much prayer and direction too.
Go to original post 1 2 Previous Next

More Like This

  • Retrieving data ...