My heart cries with you, sister in the Lord.  This happened to me. Had a wonderful 37 yr marriage  to a man who turned his back on God and decided that it was not adultery

if your in love....Of course he got Lost in drinking, really bad , forgot what you told him ten minutes earlier....this really scared me and the adult children, he carried witch

craft stones in his pocket to protect/help his memory(girl friend gave them to him) AND  had an addiction to Internet Porno...I found the best reading material  was from

June Hunt Hope For the Heart radio,  an excellent christian radio show....Get Snare of the Affair...lot of scripture and she answers the questions you aked about. .  Focus on the Family has excellent material as well...You need some christians that you can confide in but most of All PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR MARRIAGE. I do not believe in

divorce,  but when Adultery Will Not Stop.... a christian can divorce...He can not Continue to be in Your bed and Her bed.... June Hunt deals with this in her tape and book series I gave my copies to a girl in Church who had an unfaithful husband... I know how painful this is even six years later.....it is hard....I did not want Divorce but he wanted to be in bed with both of us and that' s Not Right....He was only mad at being caught.....wanted both of us....Believe me it is hard to love someone and have them say I don't love you anymore....But GOD WILL BRING YOU THREW THIS STORM  stay close to HIm ,He  is with the broken hearted....remember that God is first in our lives....That we don't place anyone before him that we do not Need that person to be a whole person....The one the Lord loves Rest between His Shoulders....HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US OR FORSAKE US......Do not have any bitterness in your heart.....the enemy is out like a Roaring Lion trying to destroy lives.. Get into his word.....and talk to Him about that hurt and ask God to work in your heart, your husbands heart and the heart of the one who sinned with him...I will be praying for YOU....it is amazing how much adultery is going on in this world.

Remember in the end we Belong to Christ,  we will be His bride and He is Faithful ....we all fail each other down here, let forgiveness flow from your heart, so the Spirit of God can do His work in you and threw you.    God NEVER FAILS US, he will make you stronger in Him,  Lean on HIM, Joan is praying for you.

Here are some practical things you can do so that you can protect yourself from more hurt and pain.

Don't go hunt down more stuff for him to 'fess up to. It will be painful for you to find out, and painful for him to explain. God will reveal those things to you when you are good and ready and in a place where you will be surrounded by some sort of protection. There's no reason to do those things or even go down the road to vindication because it only leads to your own sin. See 2 timothy 2:21-26. I used those verses for my own good when I was going through my experience with my own husband.

Gather around you a group of women who will be like-minded (ie - you want to stay married etc), and allow them to be your support group. God placed a group of women around me a year before anything like that creeped into our marriage. Try to have a mentor that you can talk to who has been through it. That helps an awful lot.

Keep your comments about your husband to as few people as possible. Choose wisely your family members as to who you will tell and ask support from. Just know that your information may come back to bite you if you share to much with your family or his family.

Make sure you have job security and stick by it, also plan to obtain your own banking account if need be.

Find a lawyer now if he is putting you or your children in any kind of financial jeopardy. They will help you with child support.

Keep the conversations to yourselves concerning the ow. The more the ow knows that the wife is causing issues, the more problems you will have. Try not to interfere or control his movements...it's just not worth it in the long run.

Take the high road. Lillian Holcomb has written about her own struggles in a book entitled Healing Within The Storm, dealing with this very issue and how she held on to God's Word. It is a companion book for those who are headed for separation and/or divorce. It gives you places where you can write in a journal and speak your mind on several issues, but it also gives you a profile of who your husband may become as the prodigal, many more insights. Check it out on amazon.com.

I'm very sorry you are going through this kind of thing. I know it's very difficult, but your main focus should be placed in the very Face of Jesus, for He will be your strength through this time.

God bless,

Mayflower