Infidelity is one of the cruelest deceptions in satan's arsenal.  The demons are real.  They can destroy you mentally.  The wounded party goes through a mental shutdown.  Thoughts destroy us.  Our mind swells in the idle times, wondering...thinking...doubting...trying...crying...betrayed.  The "guilty" party seems more ready to move on with their sin, and we, the wounded, are left in the wake.  I know, my wife had an affair.

When she confessed her affair to me, God began to break my heart as to how I treated her; how I neglected her emotionally, and did not meet her needs as a caring husband should.  Some of my sin was not intended, but some was.  I had turned away from her.  God broke me down on my sin.  She is broken about hers.  We are in counseling now, and although tough, we are desiring to restore this marriage before Him.

I can't begin to talk about the mountains, because we are fighting just to get over the small hills.  But there is change and hope.  Ultimately, if we stay under Him, we can make it, and just think how satan and his army will be destroyed when God strikes.

Be strong.  Be faithful to God.  I pray that your husband is sensitive to your hurt, and willing for counseling.  Bathe your mind with good thoughts.  Stay busy.  Live well.   Let God do a mighty work in you no matter the outcome of your situation.  He is faithful and true.

You are the daughter of a King...live strong.

TrulyBlessed-I am so sorry that you are going through this!  I am going through it too, but our situations are different.  I can't even imagine not being able to see my husband daily and be able to see his emotions about what he has done.  I feel like you do, I want to move past this, but just don't know completely how to do that.  I just take it one day at a time.  My husband says the same thing, that he thought was were making progress and now we are at step one.  That is very selfish on their parts.  Obviously for your husband he can't see all the pain you are in, he can't see your anger, sorrow, grief and fears on your face.  He may not completely understand what you are going through.  I would keep trying to talk to him about it.  As for his remorse that is for you to decided and again that would be a hard decision to make, without seeing him.  It sounds like you are going to need an extra helping of faith and guidance.

I recommend Shattered Vows it really makes you realized that you are not crazy for the many feelings you are feeling.  He could read it too.  I also recommend counseling with a counselor or pastor.  Also what about him seeking counseling there like with a lay pastor?  Is that possible?  I also recommend a support system called Celebrate Recovery that is for life's hurt, habits and hang ups.  Most the people that attend have some sort of addiction, but is is also for those who are co-dependent (like me) or family of those with sexual addictions.  Also when my husband and I were dating we would send video messages.  Maybe if you told him ahead of time what you were going to talk about and your intentions with the video you could talk about everything your pain, anger, frustration and fears on video and send it to him so that he can see what he has done to you.  I think for true remorse to be felt  by us (on their part) they need to see what they have done.  Many times it is just sex for them, but no matter what it has destoyed us.  I also feel that this area is the best way for me to vent exactly how feel at the moment. If you are having a bad day talk about it on here, a good one that too.  You will find that you are not alone in your struggles.  Remember to take it a day at a time and that it is an emotional roller coaster.  I am so sorry that you are doing this alone.  One thing I have to say is I appreciate the sacrifice that you and your husband are making (even now in the most painful time of your life) so that our country can remain free, it is one of the most noble things a person can do, but to lay down his life for others!  I wish I had solid steps for you to take, but just like living our faith what may work for one may not work for others.  God Bless

Dear God,

I cry out to you on behalf of TrulyBlessed.  Her heart is heavy burdened right now.  Let her learn to lean on you for all her needs.  I pray that her husbands heart will be broken and open to the pain he has caused her.  I pray that he can be more compassionate to her needs.  I also pray that as he is over seas she can sense when he has times that he needs to talk about his problems or stresses.  I pray Lord that You give her guidance and discerning eyes to know what to do from here.  She is so hurt and alone right now.  I pray that she can find a safe place to express her feelings and be acknowledged that she is normal and one of Your beautiful creatures!  I pray Lord for her as a mother, it is one thing to raise a child alone while a husband is over seas but to do it after this.  I pray Lord that she can dedicate her time to her child, that she will see the blessing that You have given her and receive from her child your messages and comfort, as my children have done.  I pray God that her family can be a loving support.  Although our hearts ache with what has happened I just want to Thank You for Your loving sacrifice for us and thank You for having patience with us.  I pray in Jesus Name! AMEN