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682 Views 2 Replies Last post: Dec 11, 2009 9:52 AM by amelia1008 RSS
avemaria Community Member
avemaria
1 posts since
Nov 20, 2009
Currently Being Moderated

Nov 20, 2009 6:33 PM

husband found out spending he did not know about

I have been lonely in my marriage and especially when my husband is gone working(or home for that matter) we didn't have the best relationship up until a few months ago when he seemed to want to become closer to me, so I'd fill my lonliness with spending.  I was also pretty depressed for a while and not wanting to deal with life it was a distraction for me.  I spent money on a credit card in his name a while ago and had payed it off but he found out about it.  I was trying to build up the courage to tell him b/c I know he'd be furious, but he's not the kind of person who'd be furious and eventually try and forgive me.  Once someone is on his bad side, they are on it forever.  What do I do?  I'm pregnant with our 3rd baby due in 9 weeks and this has all happened tonight.  I have been under so much stress b/c I was holding this from him, and now it's all out in the open and worse b/c I did hold it from him.  He has absolutely no trust me in what so ever, this isn't going to change, I feel ever.  He won't talk to me, he is going to give me the silent treatment, which is worse than death to me.  He said he was so angry with me he couldn't even look at me.  I don't know what to do............
Tags: communication_spouse
SunnyFOTF Focus Employee
SunnyFOTF
183 posts since
Nov 7, 2008
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1. Nov 20, 2009 7:16 PM in response to: avemaria
Re: husband found out spending he did not know about

Dear avemaria,

 

I'm so sorry for what you're going through! Being pregnant can be difficult enough, and I feel so badly that you're feeling stressed. Please take care of yourself. You mentioned in your post that all of this came out tonight...if you can, try to do something that's calming to you and get a good night's sleep. Things can often look more hopeful in the morning, and I'll be praying that you and your husband will be able to talk soon. I know that feeling of "this is never going to change." But I've also learned that God can do amazing things that we didn't expect.

 

Take heart, avemaria, and know that God is for you and loves you. Please give our counselors a call on Monday if you can...they can offer help and support. May the God of all comfort hold you close, and may His grace be with you and your husband to communicate. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing, how we can pray for you...you're in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

 

Sunny    

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amelia1008 Community Member
amelia1008
9 posts since
Nov 11, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
2. Dec 11, 2009 10:05 AM in response to: avemaria
Re: husband found out spending he did not know about

Dear Avemaria,

 

I know EXACTLY how you feel.  I did the same thing you did.  Mine was not out of boredom or lonliness, mine was survival, he was spending more in lottery tickets than we were bringing in so I used the money in our savings account ($12,000.00) to help pay the bills.  He eventually found out.  I too am trying to regain my husbands trust and I too have a husband who is not forgiving.  Get on his bad side and your on it for good.  The only difference is that I am not pregnant and you are still at home.  This has caused us to separate. I keep trying no matter what and I always make sure that everything I do is up front. I have admitted my wrong to GOD and to my husband and have asked for forgiveness from both, I will probably receive it from GOD first and that is ok, I will just keep working on my husband (with GODs help).  I am not giving up on my marriage and I will pray for yours.  Don't give up, GOD will speak to you, mine was in the form of lyrics from Alicia Keys "Everythings Gonna Be Alright".  I woke up one morning and those lyrics (not the whoe song) were going over and over in my head.  Funny thing is...I don't listen to Alicia Keys' music.  That was GOD!  Pray to him, be patient, he will answer you.  I wish you all the best and hope you have a beautiful and healthy baby.

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