Currently Being Moderated
Nov 23, 2009 1:14 PM
My stepdaughter moved in with us 6 months ago. She wasn't getting along with her mother and stepfather and said she wanted to spend time with her father. She had always stayed the summers and 2-weeks at Christmas with us. We live in another state. We were very excited and told her that she could live with us whenever she wanted. We have two boys of our own (11&12) so I was excited to have a daugher. We are very involved parents and thought she was having self-esteem problems. We take her to church, do lots of family activities and put her in sports. Her dad spends lots of time with her and we pretty much showered her with attention. Once school started and she made friends, everything drastically went down hill. We found very explicit text messages between her and boys. Once we began to dig a little, we found all kinds of disgusting letters between her and friends. Her first outing to the mall with a new friend, the friend gets caught shop lifting. We catch her in lies constantly, she doesn't follow the rules, she uses foul language, she is openly defiant, listens to perverted music and is constantly "trying" to dress inappropriately. When punished, she makes life miserable for everyone in the house. She has absolutely no consideration for anyone else. We have removed texting from her phone and deleted her My Space page that we didn't know about. We have thrown away the trashy clothes and monitor her music. She has no respect for others property and we have caught her stealing from us and others. I have caught her numerous times in my purse. She does whatever she wants. We can't keep her grounded forever and I hate living in my home where I have to hide my purse and constantly be on guard. Any time she has any freedom she abuses it. She is constantly manipulating and is attracted to the wrong type of friends. We found a letter from her hometown friend that bragged that she was "the best manipulator, could lie to anyone and not blink an eye and can get whatever she wants and any guy she wants". This pretty much sums up what I'm dealing with and apparently she did the same thing at her mom's house. I would be up to the challenge to turn her around if I didn't have other children. Now she is affecting our two sons very negatively. If she speaks to them at all, it is usually something negative like your fat, your a brat, etc. The boys go to a private Christian school (she couldn't get in this year) and my husband has always been very strict w/ the boys and taught them to be very respectful. They see her getting away with stuff they would never get away with, but she does something daily and its hard to keep up. She has exposed them to things I have tried hard to keep them from. My husband (her father) is so torn as to what to do. We both work full time and can't babysit her every move. I feel like since her mother raised her and doesn't work outside the home, she needs to deal with these problems at her house. I'm tired. Help!
