My 6 yr. old stepson has a serious problem with his attitude.  My wife (the child's mother) gets her son every other week as part of the court order and the father gets him the other week (week on, week off).  I have reason to believe that the child is being enabled at the father's house.

The father is thirty years old and lives with his mom.  He (the father) is either always working and never home or when he is home he spends time on his computer and rarely spends time with his son.  He (the father) is disrespectful of his mother and myself and only works with us grudgingly at best.  During the times when the father is not home, his mother (the child's grandmother) watches him and "babies" him (does everything for him and calls him, "her little baby").

When we ask the child to do anything, he throws an out-of-control fit of rage or has an attitude that is disrespectful.  He says he doesn't want to go to school and fights us every morning when we try to get him ready for school.  He has been up to 15 minutes late some mornings because of his uncooperative behavior.  Now it has come to our attention (through his school's progress report) that the child has been tardy for school 11 times in just the last month, and 9 of them was the father's.

What hurts the most, is when the child whines and says he wants to be with his daddy.  When we ask him why, he says it is because his dad never spends any time with him.

What should I do to deal with this and get my stepson the help he needs and how do I deal with his dad who is never there for him?

It's gotten so bad that I believe legal action should be taken to get full custody of the child but I don't want to go down that road if it can be avoided.  I really want to work with the dad but I do not feel he wants to work with us.  He has done many things to violate court orders and just seems to get away with it every time, no matter what we do and we have recorded the incidents on paper.  Any suggestions would be welcome.  Thanks for your time everyone....