My husband for 6 years has lied to me for 3 years about stealing lots of money from my parents business and lied to me and my family and confessed a couple of months ago. He confessed a week after we seperated from me. He said reason why he wanted out was because we always fight and it's because of me being controlling and insecure. I admit I was very insecure, unfortunately when my husband doesn't want to be intimate with me very often (maybe less than a handful of times in one year) has caused me to feel unsexy and unwanted. He also emotionally abused me not long after we got married (name calling putting me down about not being a good housewife etc) He hasn't exactly made me feel very special in our marriage.

I feel embarressed and that I should've known that he lied to me for that amount of time and for everything he bought me or trips we went on was with stolen money from my parents. I'm very disturbed by this and I don't have any trust for him. I feel as if I knew a person that was fake. He said he was sorry but I honestly think (perhaps I'm wrong) that he only confessed bc he was about to get caught. I feel like I cannot ever trust him. I'm not sure why I even want to be with him after what he did! I just loved him too much to not attempt to work things out. I have decided (almost) that I want out of this relationship altogether. What's more is he's not doing anything for me to trust him.

We seperated on terms of my teenage cousin and her friends coming over all the time (literally everyday and night during the summer) making my husband feel "like a kid" again. (He used to work with younger kids). I actually had to pull him aside to tell him what was bothering me, I wanted more "us" time! He said I was being controlling and this was his first taste of freedom. Then he was wish washy about the whole "working things out". He wants me to change and he get help on his own thing with the theft. I'm torn between doing what's logical to not go back to him after what he did and me never be able to have a relationship with him because he's not able to and between doing what God wants me to do. I feel he has no respect for me and you'd think after doing that to his own wife he would have extreme remorse to me rather than more to the fact hes scared he may go to jail. I feel like I want God to redeem me from this marriage from emotional abuse, the no trust issue and the disrespect. He went into a depression after what happened but he's a little better now.

I feel like he just wants to live a carefree life and if I'm willing to not make him commit to me or make him do what he doesn't want to do (which I feel it's showing respect for your wife) then he'll continue to be with me. I however do NOT like the idea and want to run the other way but the other hand I'm thinking he's just not going to change or think how he's acting is wrong. I'm not really sure why I still have this feeling of attatchment to him. Even though I feel he's literally treated me badly and it's somewhat deeper than this, I still feel this way. But I also feel like I need to wash my hands, is this feeling wrong when the person I want to wash my hands to is my own husband? People are also telling me this is a type of unfaithfullness with keeping this secret for 3 years.

I feel very uncomfortable, displaced and scared. I'm seeing a councelor right now and I'm about to go visit our church marriage councelor soon to seek his advice. I just want a little advice bc I don't want to be a fool and work things out when he may just not want to be with me (he actually hasn't gone out and gone through with the divorce or anything but he was ok with me not wanting to be with him.) Unfortunately I got upset and said we are through and cancelled marriage counceling. I have no hope for us. I NEED peace and guidance. I have been praying for guidance and I'm still don't see my path clearly. I think I'm grieving over what he did and how he doesn't want me anymore (actions speak a lot louder than words).

Any advice or even just some scripture that you think would be of comfort or help for me would be great!