Up to Discussions in School Age Children

This Question is Answered

885 Views 6 Replies Last post: Nov 9, 2009 5:07 AM by Dadeo110 RSS
eternity4ever Community Member
eternity4ever
3 posts since
Nov 5, 2009
Currently Being Moderated

Nov 5, 2009 9:39 AM

Over protective

My daughter is 10 years old and I wouldlike to know if it's wrong for me not tolether spend the night at her BF's house? and the only reason why I'm not letting her is becasue her BF has a 15 year old brother and I'm just not keen on letting my daughter spend the night. what can you tell me, am I being overprotective or insecure about the whole thing.
Tags: learning, activities, recreation
Ted_Slater Community Member
Ted_Slater
28 posts since
Jan 8, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
1. Nov 5, 2009 10:31 AM in response to: eternity4ever
Re: Over protective

To clarify, BF means "best friend," not "boy friend," right?

 

For what it's worth, I've got three daughters. My wife and I may have their friends stay the night at our place some day, but we've agreed that they won't spend the night at other friends' homes. Just our policy. Yeah, we're protective.  :-)

eternity4ever Community Member
eternity4ever
3 posts since
Nov 5, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
2. Nov 5, 2009 11:57 AM in response to: Ted_Slater
Re: Over protective
Yes. I'm sorry I meant Best friend. I forgot that it can also mean boyfriend..LOL Thank you
nosey_gomu Community Member
nosey_gomu
2 posts since
Nov 3, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
3. Nov 6, 2009 7:08 AM in response to: eternity4ever
Re: Over protective

you're not over protective, it's being precautious.

we're living in an era and in the world that anything can happen.

as parents, we will be burdened with guilts for the rest of our lives when we act against our parental-nature that leads to something bad happening to our kids.

we control what we can control - kids will realize that their parents do this for their safety.

that's just my 2c.

hth.

eternity4ever Community Member
eternity4ever
3 posts since
Nov 5, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
4. Nov 6, 2009 7:37 AM in response to: nosey_gomu
Re: Over protective
Thank you for your answers to my question. I am trying to convey to my daughter that all I'm doing is protect her, but she doesn't see it. I know that one day I pray that the Lord will show her and that I protect her like I do her younger brother for their own safety. You're right we are living in an age that we need to be careful and protect what God has given us. I know the enemy is out on the prowl, search kill and destroy but I won't let him do that cause my two children were given to me by the Lord as a gift and I have to  make sure that I do my part so  that they can grow up knowing who Jesus is..With much love to youall parents out there..Many blessings going your way..
Accepted Community Member
Accepted
5 posts since
Nov 6, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
5. Nov 6, 2009 4:23 PM in response to: eternity4ever
Re: Over protective
Since I would classify myself as an 'overprotective' mom also, I understand your feelings.  I've been a parent for 23 years, and have always been very careful about sleepovers, so I think your hesitation indicates a Godly care of your children.  I would encourage you, though, to be careful to be reasonable, especially as your daughter matures. If your children do not understand the "why" as they get older, you risk resentment taking hold of their hearts.  Regarding sleepovers, I would say that if you know the family (and the siblings) well, that makes a big difference in being able to say "yes" more often.  It's also important to teach your daughter what to do in any situation in which she feels even vaguely uncomfortable--remove herself immediately, make noise if necessary, and call home.  But please be careful not to allow fear to rule your parenting; pray for your children every single day, ask the Lord continually for wisdom, and say yes when you can.  Then trust Him!  And when you can't say yes, you can open your own home to your children's friends so your children will grow up seeing your generosity of heart.  You sound like a wonderful, loving mother to me!
Dadeo110 Community Member
Dadeo110
27 posts since
Sep 27, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
6. Nov 9, 2009 7:54 AM in response to: eternity4ever
Re: Over protective

eternity4ever, my wife and I also are "overprotective". My children are 18 and 15 now and very well behaved. I would very much agree with Accepted's post. My wife and I cultivated friendships with children from "good" families when they were young. We also had a policy that if we didn't know the parents, we would at least talk with Mom or Dad to get a feel for the family. And sometimes we just said no. As they get older your job is less about protecting them, and more about teaching them to protect themselves. In the end we can't protect them anyway....only God can protect them. Or us for that matter. My practical suggestion for you would be to get to know the family a little and you may become more comfortable with sleepovers. Or, you may not and this friend may be a "school" friend instead of a sleepover friend.

Keep up the hard work of raising and protecting your children, it is worth all the effort. God bless.

More Like This

  • Retrieving data ...