Oh newlife~
I can tell how much you love your boys just by reading your message. Divorce is never an easy thing to navigate, and throwing children into the mix just makes it more difficult. However, having a caring, involved parent can make all the difference in the world and they're lucky to have you behind them.
Of course, probably the best counsel I could offer you right now is just to keep lifting your sons before God. He can work in their lives and heal the scars this may have left. It may take some time, but I've had many close friends who've walked through their parents' divorces and come out on the other side with an even stronger relationship with the Lord.
With this said, you're on the right track in trying to take some action here. I think your idea of getting them into some sort of counseling is a good one. Of course, I know they're not too keen on this idea. Is there any pastor/youth pastor they would feel comfortable talking with?
Also, you might consider talking personally with a counselor about this situation. I know those on our staff would be happy to help. Maybe they could give you some pointers or suggestions on how to get your sons the help and support they need.
In the meantime, there's some great books and materials out there on this subject. To start with, you might want to read through our articles on teens and divorce. Helping Children Survive Divorce and Broken: Making Sense of Life After Your Parents' Divorce are also 2 great books on this subject.
Well, I know's there's other parents out there who have walked down this road as well. So, hopefully you'll get some input from them. But, while you're waiting you might want to take a look at some past posts from our counselors on this topic here, here, (BettyJFOTF) and here (JimVFOTF).
I hope some of this info helps. You and your sons will be in my prayers. Keep us posted, ok?
Jessica
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