Degb,

I've been going through this exact thing with my wife, recently.

She'd worked all her life as a single mom to raise kids, and we continued as a two-income family until she got sick.  Now, I'm starting to take over the income, which is what's recommended from some Christian financial planners (two incomes means a two-income lifestyle, which can suffer in hard times and contribute to debt), and what I believe the Bible means for us.

My wife has a business she's started, and I think it has great promise, but it's struggling at first.  From my experience, most small businesses struggles at first, and only takes off after lots of hard work.  I'm trying to break through her discouragement to let her know it's not a sign of disaster if it's not all fitting into place early on.

But she keeps going back to the idea of getting a job to help our struggling finances, even though she can't really handle it physically or emotionally with everything else she has to do as a wife and mom.  As a man, I enjoy "bringing home the bacon" as they say without sharing that task with my wife to a large degree.  Even if we struggle to pay bills, it's empowering to me as a man.

Plus, I have confidence in my wife's business that she doesn't have.  I'd rather she make money in a family business that allows her also to take care of kids, and which I can contribute to as well.  It's just not the same, to me, as my wife working outside of the home, which subconsciously tells a man that he's failing in his job to support the family.  I don't feel that way about the business -- it's just different.  More normal.  Less threatening.

But my main message is that your husband has faith in you that you don't have in yourself, and I think you should listen to him.  My wife's worried that I think she's not contributing -- that she's spending money she didn't make, and that I resent it.  But I don't think like that at all -- I'm happy that I'm making money for her to spend.  And taking care of the house, and kids, and having the business all contributes, besides.  My wife doubts herself, and so she swears that I doubt her (she's "projecting" -- one of those psychological terms) -- ultimately, it's her (and you?) who's uncomfortable working from home instead of having a "regular job".  She's been trained by popular, feminist society that a woman who doesn't have the same type of job, and job status, as a man isn't fulfilled.  It's poisoned our society.  My wife is the one who pointed this out to me, but even though she "knows" it, she can't "feel" it and put it into practice.  She still feels bad.

I know it's uncomfortable "not having a job" when our society says all women should work outside of the home.  But you DO have a job, as a mom, and wife, and business owner.  To you, that's not good enough, but if your husband is telling you he believes in you and supports you, you should listen to him, not to your own doubts.

Remember what Bill said to Pam on their honeymoon (mentioned in the webcast) -- your husband is trying to say to you, "Let me be your mirror, and tell you what I see in you."

Alex