My wife and I have been married for 5 years and we have both been married previously. Currently, I am nearing the end of my rope and I am not sure how much more I can keep in without exploding. She continuously tells me I need to be more like this person or that person. My wife has purchased dozens of books for me to read on How to be a better husband, How to be a better father, What I can do to have a Godly marriage, and many more. If I hear "I wish you were as good a husband as so and so's husband we would not have any problems" I am going to go crazy. ( by the way, two of those "good Husbands" just left their wives to have affairs). She even purchased the "Love Dare" journal and gave it to me, telling me I needed to do that to see how to be a husband.
It seems that in my wife's eyes I am the sole reason for every problem, issue or concern in our marriage and in our lives. I had to quit my law enforcement job of 12 year shortly after we were married because she made such a scene about there being female officers working for me. I found a job in retail security management, but the same issue came up. If I even speak to a female coworker, on a business related matter, my wife berates them endlessly. This has created a very difficult work environment for me.
My wife has destroyed our finances and lied to me about them over the course of our relationship. She refuses to allow me to handle the finances, and the times I have tried to take control of them she intentionally wipes the accounts out. My credit wasn't the best before, but now it is terrible, and she continues to bounce checks. On several occasions we have almost had our vehicle repossessed, the utilities cut off and our Insurance canceled.
Recently, she has been obsessing about my former wife. She spends hours daily on the internet tracking my ex's facebook and myspace accounts. My ex-wife owes thousands in back Child Support and refuses to pay, so my wife is constantly reproting on things the ex buys and the vehicles she purchases (new and expensive, none the less) and complains as to why she does not pay the ordered Child Support.
I can not handle much more of this and I do not know which way to turn. She will only work a very limited part time job (less than 18 hours a week, yet berates me when she bounces a check. I literally function off of zero money. She will ride to the gas station with me as I fill up my vehicle, and that is the only thing I get. I do have ever get the blame for the "measly" paycheck I bring home.
I have prayed about this for over a year now. I have held my anger and hurt inside until I am full up. I am truly to the point that I hate being around her. I even read a lot of the books she got and they aren't helping. It is embarrassing for me to even post this, as I can only imagine how weak I sound as a man, but I have tried ever resolution I know of and now I am reaching out for advice and help. Someone Please give me a new direction to go here!
