It's been nearly 6 months since my husband walked out on me. I've read Love Must Be Tough, and I believe I've pretty well put it into practice. The first month was the worst, depressed and crying all the time. I've been in Christian counseling for most of the last six months. (this info is all in prior post, I'm just offering a brief recap)  My husband bailed after 1 session of counseling.  Told me he would never go back again! This was about a 1 1/2 months ago. I'd say for the most part the only time we ever see each other is during the exchange of our daughter, during which he is usually in a hurry because his mother is waiting in the car!  I figure she does that to keep him from staying and visiting.  It's working.  I thought if we were going to work on our marriage we would be spending some time together, a date night? something? anything!!! I just don't see how two people are expected to work things out when those two people aren't ever together? Am I wrong in my thinking? I understand we both have changes we need to make in ourselves, but not spending any time together seems damaging.  A few weeks ago when it was my daughters week with me, I invited him over. He said he couldn't (because his mother wouldn't approve).  I broke the tough love rule, and my daughter and I kidnapped him!!!  Not really of course!!! We drove to his mother's house, where's he's currently living, lured him into the car, and drove away.  I thought it would be fun to do dinner and a movie, but he spent the entire time worrying about what he was going to tell his mother!!!  It really made me upset!! In my case the OTHER WOMAN, is his mother!!!  Now this week, my daughter is sick, she's with her dad this week, and I'm very upset by that as well.... The weeks she isn't with me are very hard.  I hate this back and forth nonsense!  And when she's sick, well of course I want to hold her and comfort her.  I called him and told him it was very upsetting to me not to be with her.  Not upsetting not to be with him!!  Just not being with her.  I honestly don't think my husband and I will ever reconcile.  My 16 yr old son (from previous marriage)... my husband treated him very badly in the latter part of our marriage.  I believe it has caused a lot of problems for my son.  We'll deal with those together, are dealing with those together.  He lets out a little every now and then.  We had a good cry recently, he says I didn't do enough to protect him from his step-dad.  That was painful to hear.

In a few weeks I will have re-established my residency here in Calif. and can file for divorce.  So can my husband.  He says he's not going to.  I had previously said I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of filing for divorce, but I'm starting to reconsider.  It's been 6 months and this is going nowhere.  I've read other's stories on here, where they've been separated much, much longer.  I just don't know if I'm willing to do that!  How do I know that it's the right thing to do?