You are to be commended for fighting for your marriage. Marriage is worth fighting for.  A bad marriage can be turned around with the right level of commitment, attitudes and behaviors.  One study a few years ago showed that over 80 percent of couples who said they were unhappy in their marriage but stayed together, five years later said they were now happy.  Some went to marriage counseling, others simply got to the other side of financial, parenting and health problems.  Others received professional help for individual problems like depression and addiction.The fact your husband continues to fall back into an affair is an indication of deeper problems and possibly addiction.  If the Counselor who you have been seeing is not trained to work with sexual addiction issues, he should go to one who has that training. Sexual addiction is typically not something that can just be stopped.   It has to be treated by a professional.  If you are not aware of a counselor in your area that specializes in sexually related problems, call our counseling department at 1800AFamily. You can talk to a counselor for additional advice on this issue or you can ask for a referral in your area.  It is not uncommon when a spouse either refuses to get help or continues to fall back into adultery for tough love principles to be brought into play.  Tough love may involve your spouse being held accountable to get professional help by church leadership, a pastor, counselor, a close friend or co-worker. Tough love says “that we are going to stand along side you and help you be faithful, honor what you have promised to do and get the help you need.” It is tough, but it is a form love.  It’s loving someone enough to hold them accountable and helping them get the help you need.  You will be in our prayers here at Focus on the Family and hope to hear from you.

Mitch TempleDirector- Marriage Dept. Focus on the Family