My fiance was addicted to pornography since middle school. We had dated for two and a half years during that time, but had separated for a time in order to individually pursue the Lord more fully. When He brought us back together a little over a year ago, my fiance (who was still my boyfriend at the time) stopped viewing pornography and seductive movies altogether. He has set very high standards for any movies he watches in order to effectively avoid that temptation.
A few weeks ago, however, he confessed to having been viewing a scantily-clad woman while searching movies online. Last week, he turned on the TV during some free time and watched two movies containing sex scenes and nude or semi-nude women (which goes way beyond the media guidelines he has set for himself). He has said that he was thinking of me when he viewed these, but first of all we are not married so I would say that's not even appropriate - Phil 4:8?, and secondly - even if he was thinking about me, there was another woman standing in front of him. This is not ok with me.
My struggle is as follows: Because he was so deeply involved with pronography before, I am terrified of it coming up again in our marriage; these more recent instances have only served to deepen those fears. We are supposed to be getting married in three months, but I am having a hard time trusting him. After the TV incident, he admitted to needing help - but has since refused to even discuss counseling; after everything else he has tried on his own, that is the last option I can see.
I know that these were two seemingly small instances, but they hurt me deeply. My biggest fear is that it could start out small with things like this, but then mushroom again into full-blown pornography addiction once we are married.
Do you think this could be the beginning of a spiral back into pornography addiction, or am I overreacting?
Do you think counseling would help anything?
