That's the title of a recent Yahoo! Finance article by Laura Rowley.

In it, Rowley reports on the findings of an American Express survey which found that

Young professional couples are more likely to keep their financial lives separate -- and are also more likely to fight, practice financial infidelity and have financial regrets.

Young professionals (identified in the study as those under 30, having a college degree and earning a minimum combined salary of $50,000) may think that keeping their finances separate will lead to less fighting and, possibly, less divorce. But, Rowley writes,

Ginita Wall, CPA and financial planner in San Diego specializing in divorce, says she's not surprised by the findings. "You would think if their finances were separate, couples wouldn't fight about money, but what happens is they never have an opportunity to talk about mutual goals," says Wall, co-founder of the nonprofit Women's Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org). "So one of them will set a goal to save for a bigger house while the other may think new golf clubs are more important -- and they are off to the races fighting about money."

And, one author states, having disagreements about money is not always a bad thing:

"A benefit to merging finances is that it forces discussions and even arguments about money," explains Brad Klontz, financial psychologist and co-author of Mind Over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders That Threaten Our Financial Health. "Arguments around money should not be avoided as they provide opportunities for growth and increased intimacy. When disagreements are resolved it can actually strengthen a couple's intimacy and financial health. Keeping finances entirely separate enables couples to avoid talking about money altogether. While they may avoid fights, they also miss out on the benefits of challenging their money beliefs and assumptions."

In an article I wrote, "The Two Shall Become One ... Checkbook," I looked at the differing advice to young couples about their finances,

Why are so many secular advisors pro-separate accounts or, at best, neutral, while so many Christian advisors advocate joint accounts?

I then went on to look at the underlying assumptions between many secular advisors and Christian financial advisors on things like what marriage is, what builds trust in a marriage and whether "preparing for divorce" is a financial option. I concluded:

But [all the Christian financial advisors] seem to agree that there is a big difference between taking some money out of "our" account for individual wants and taking money out of "my" account for things a couple shares.

As Crown Ministries writes, "God uses money in the lives of any couple to draw them closer together. In contrast, Satan wants to drive a wedge between a husband and wife. Why? In hopes that the resultant turmoil will drive them away from God."

In my marriage, I can attest that money has drawn us closer together.

It's taken a lot of dedicated time, patience and hash-it-out sessions over the budget to get where we are. I don't know if we're "one" in our finances yet, but I know we've gained more compassion for each other, more discipline over ourselves and grown very much of the same mind with money. And I have to agree with the Christian financial advisors on this one. I don't think we'd be where we are if we had separate accounts.

It saddens me that so many in my generation seem to have divided their finances in marriage and taken a "we know money can cause fights, so we'll just avoid the discussion altogether" approach. Money is a difficult thing to tackle as a couple, but the upside is that conquering it together can also bring incredible unity. And, as this study shows, avoidance can lead to more bad than good.

I was 24 when I felt the conviction to start tithing regularly. I can't explain it, really, but I think I just came the conclusion that if I loved God and His work the way I said I did, my bank account needed to start reflecting that. Since then, I have encountered some Christians who seem very tense about the concept of tithing. They say it's not for today or that you don't have to give it to the church. I'm not so sure.

I think those debates can get us off the real point, which is: What should be the priority of giving in a believer's life? Because I had read somewhere that twenty-somethings are some of the worst givers of all, I decided to do a little digging to try to discover what the Bible really says about giving and the consequences of failing to do so. Then I wrote an article about it.

Randy Alcorn has said:

The concepts behind the firstfruits — the ownership and worthiness of God and the servanthood and indebtedness of man — are as true today as they were in the Old Testament. And surely the gratitude of God's people should be far greater on this side of Calvary than the other!

I think behind the debate on tithing and giving to the church lies a heart problem. Sometimes ... deep down ... I want to keep my money for myself. Either because I trust in it too much or I buy into the deception that it is mine (rather than God's). Is it hard sometimes to watch that 10 percent disappear from each paycheck? Yes. But much is at stake.

There is an undeniable connection between the heart and the wallet. Matthew 6:21 says: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." If none of your money is going to the church, missions or humanitarian aid, the Bible makes it clear that your desires aren't in those places either. And that is the problem.

The Bible urges again and again to give generously, not out of obligation or to score points with God, but because, when you do, you will be truly blessed by the experience. God doesn't need our stuff, but He invites us to use our resources to be part of what He is doing. (Be sure to read the article to find out why it's titled "Giving My Dinosaurs.")

We don't invite many people over for dinner in the fall. If someone should "surprise" us and drop by, they are likely the ones who will be "surprised" -- and they may never come back!

Not many women could live with a man like me. And even fewer women would be willing to live frugally so that we can enjoy the "finer art" of rural existence. My wife, I'm convinced, is custom made for me. She's a Proverbs 31 woman, but so much more.

To give you some background, I left a low-stress, comfortable job to work in the very challenging and not-so-comfortable, high-stress battlefield of public policy. We were both reluctant to leave the security and comfort of my former job. But God was clearly moving in our hearts, and we knew God would win if this struggle turned into a wrestling match!

When God speaks, you listen. And the quicker you submit your will to His will and act in obedience, the sooner your mind and soul will be at peace. As for the future, take a deep breath, buckle up and take the next step in faith.

Fast forward to the present: We now have the privilege to work in ministry within the realm of public policy. I'd be lying if I said it's easy and comfortable. Hardly! But I'd also be negligent if I didn't tell you that there's great satisfaction living in His will.

God has always kept a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, cars running and food on the table. But the methods we employ to make ends meet and live on some acreage often require thrift, humility and lots of hard work.

This is why I say that my wife is a unique and very courageous person to adapt, endure and persevere with me (and our crazy life). What's amazing is that she remains my greatest advocate and my steadfast encouragement -- she never condemns me for not providing an "easier" life for her (aside from her dislike of raising chickens).

It's funny how God joins us with just the right person, isn't it? If God joined you two together, then your spouse is made just for you -- to mature, complement and complete you. And this will only become more apparent the longer you are married. Love is sacrificial, but also complementary. So much is required, and yet there is such an abundance to be gained.

Back to why you may not want to visit us in the fall ...

First off, we buy good, used cars, but they do have "character." Some might think, "I'd never drive that!" But, hey, they run pretty well.

Next you'll see a black mountain of coal near our driveway (we live in the country) along with black gloves and coal-carrying bins by the front door. We cut heating costs using a coal-burning stove in our basement. My tiny wife stokes the fire all day long in the fall and winter -- it's a hard, dirty job, but she doesn't complain.

And did I tell you she watches our neighbor's baby a few days per week (extra "fun" cash)? Our kids learn responsibility by collecting eggs from our chickens, so Jen can grind some wheat and make fresh bread. She's amazing!

Warning: This part's a little ugly if you're squeamish.

Our dining table is just large enough to hold the hind leg of an elk or deer, so that we can butcher our meat and freeze it for the coming year. Yes, I hunt deer and elk -- not for sport, but out of thrift and necessity -- so we can eat well and live in the country.

My wife and I butcher our own meat, because processing is expensive. Meat, blood, gloves, knives and freezer wrap adorn our fall table. (A slight frown, however, betrays Jen's fragile smile and exposes her dislike for butchering. But, she courageously "bucks" up and does it anyway.)

Still want to visit us in the fall?

We're a unique team, and only God could have known the wife I'd need. She's my perfect mate, and I thank the Lord bringing her -- and her alone -- to me in marriage.

We may wear slightly worn clothes (or from half-off sales), drive humble cars, have coal soot on our faces, make our own bread and pull elk or deer meat from our freezer to eat. This frugal lifestyle is not for everyone. But thrift works for us, and I'm glad my wife's in agreement, especially in the fall.

Times are tough, and we're all tightening our belts. Have you had similar experiences, trying to enjoy life but save money at the same time?

Dr. Gary Smalley invited a couple of experts to offer six killer marriage tips.

A warning: It's a bit painful to watch.

I'm interested to hear your opinions about these tips. Have you found yourself using them with your spouse? If so, how did that work out for you?

Logging your take home pay and tracking your spending is one of the most financially healthy exercises you can undertake. There's something peaceful about knowing how much money you have, where it goes and living within your means.

My wife and I have a pretty simple budget philosophy. We keep the receipts for every purchase we make during the month and input the totals as quickly as we can so we don't forget.

Here's what our speadsheet of expenses looks like:

• Tithe
• Offering
• Mortgage
• Insurance-Life/Car
• Power/Utility
• Phone/Internet
• Groceries
• Savings
• Fuel
• Medical needs
• Home needs
• Auto needs
• Clothes
• Eating out
• Entertainment
• Misc./Gifts

The top half expenses are usually set amounts; the bottom half are a bit more flexible. So there's wiggle room if I need more for fuel or the power bill or a benevolence gift. After the month is up, total expenses usually equals net income (there are occasions when dipping into savings are necessary).

Another healthy benefit from keeping a budget is that your receipts reveal what you value most. To my shame, I'm constantly amazed at how quickly I run out of money for clothes, eating out and entertainment.

"Unsubscribe."

That's the link I've been looking for on a lot of the emails coming my way over the past few days.

Every January I like to start the year with a fresh slate. As part of that process I re-evaluate my commitments to see if what sounded like a good idea at the time is still something worth doing.

It includes thinking about what I'm committed to at work and also what I've taken on outside of work in the form of projects and freelance opportunities. It also leads me to look at my routine with fresh eyes--to review the way I spend my mornings, evenings and weekends.

This year is the first year, however, that I thought to look again at my email box. It's amazing how much clutter can accumulate in an email box. Things I signed up for quite a while ago keep rolling in and wanting my time and attention. Things I don't remember ever wanting keep showing up and adding unncessary clutter.

It's felt great to take a few extra seconds lately and, instead of debating if I should give an email some of my time and attention, to just go ahead and decide to unsubscribe. My inbox is getting less and less cluttered and one more area of my life seems a little simpler.

The payoff for de-cluttering inboxes, calendars and our routines is that it earns us more time and attention for what matters most in life -- God, the work He's called us to do and the relationships He's given us. The more my wife and I take on de-cluttering projects like this, the more time and attention we have available for kingdom work each other and our kids.

Where could you de-clutter in order to make this a more meaningful year?

Sadly, many of the resolutions you made just a week ago may already be teetering: I'll get in shape, I'll be a better wife, I'll learn to love my in-laws, I'll grow in my faith, I'll learn to be a great cook, we'll get out of debt. On and on the aspirations fly, only to vaporize days later when they prove to be too difficult to achieve.

The beginning of the year, that blank slate of 2010 is too clean not to want to do some things differently than last year. Having a teachable spirit and the desire for growth and development are critical components to a Christ-follower and to a healthy marriage. But great expectations aren't enough to bring about true change. Here are some thoughts to help you make those aspirations translate into true change:

• Set goals that apply to actions, not results. As noble as it might sound, becoming a more devoted Christian is not a good goal. Neither is the goal of losing 25 pounds. When you set goals that are measured by results, you will get discouraged when you can't measure those results (what does it mean to be a more devoted Christian?) or when the results are not there (I actually gained a pound today!). Better, choose goals that are measure by actions like "I will make an effort to say something positive to my husband every morning" or "I will walk for 30 minutes four days a week." If you commit to the right actions, the results will eventually follow.

• Set realistic goals. True change is almost imperceptible. Show me someone who has completely changed his spending habits or her time on facebook in three days, and I will show you someone who will relapse within a few weeks. As John Trent wrote in "The 2-Degree Difference" a small change is more likely to stick and shift momentum in your life than some monumental, unrealistic goal.

• Remember that some things are so important, they are worth doing poorly. Maybe you are not at the point in life where you can commit to an hour of prayer and study a day. So, commit to 10 minutes. Maybe you don't yet know how to be a great wife or husband. Work towards being a better one. If you are an all-or-nothing person like I am, it may be tough for you to strive toward something you know you can't do perfectly. Push past that rationalization. When you fall off the wagon, don't abandon the goal. Imperfect progress is far better than no progress at all.

By the time people reach their 40s and 50s, many have given up the idea of growth and change because they've failed so many times at their attempts to be a better ______ (you fill in the blank). Yet Proverbs teaches that the primary difference between a wise person and a fool is the ability to learn and grow. Lay the foundation for that teachable spirit in you heart and marriage now -- in 2010.

It's clear that those who have a good deal of money tend not to be as acutely aware of their need for the Lord. Which often makes it difficult for them to turn to Him for salvation.

But Scripture is clear that some people are rewarded for their obedience with financial wealth. Those who are faithful with little are given more. Some of Jesus' disciples were rich, after all.

And that means that the accumulation of wealth is not inherently a bad thing.

I, for one, appreciate rich people. I tuned into a show last night that featured the homes of the very wealthy. The artwork and craftsmanship was stunning. It made me starkly aware of the potential that people have to create beautiful work. If it weren't for these wealthy individuals, artists and craftsmen wouldn't have had the funds to produce such beauty.

I think about works of art through the centuries -- paintings, carvings, music, and the like -- that wouldn't exist were it not for wealthy patrons. And I'm grateful for their contributions.

Earlier this week I was reminded how Boundless, Focus on the Family's ministry for young adults, began. A wealthy individual had a vision for a publication that would encourage 20-somethings toward intentional, godly living. And in 1998 he wrote a check for $100,000 to get things started. I'm grateful for his contribution.

Yes, there are many rich people who are entirely selfish, who use their money to subjugate and oppress others, to insulate themselves from the needs of those around them. They may even get their money at others' expense or through immoral means.

But there are many others who have been financially blessed for whatever reason, and who use their money to improve the world around them. And I do not resent them for their money; that's the knee-jerk response schismatic demagogues like Marx would want me to have. No, I am grateful for their contribution to the beauty and edification of this world.

I appreciate rich people.

(I should add that I really struggled to find an image to accompany this blog post. Most of the ones I found online represented wealthy people as self-obsessed phonies who made, and spent, their money in unethical ways. Sigh.)