The New York Times recently published an article on the issue of extended adolescence — or delayed adulthood. Many of the historical benchmarks of adulthood — completed higher education, moving out of Mom and Dad's, marriage, children — are happening up to a decade later than they used to. Having gotten married at 32, I relate. The article says a major shift in society's perspective on marriage may be responsible:

Marriage and parenthood — once seen as prerequisites for adulthood — are now viewed more as lifestyle choices, according to a new report released by Princeton University and the Brookings Institution.

The stretched-out walk to independence is rooted in social and economic shifts that started in the 1970s, including a change from a manufacturing to a service-based economy that sent many more people to college, and the women’s movement, which opened up educational and professional opportunities.

Women account for more than half of college students and nearly half of the work force, which in turn has delayed motherhood and marriage.

Women putting career first, parents urging young people not to rush into marriage and cohabitation are three factors that may be responsible for pushing the average marrying age up to 26 for women and 27 for men — the highest on record. Marriage and family are viewed as just one lifestyle option for personal fulfillment among others, many of which may seem a lot easier.

How do you think the perception of marriage and parenthood as lifestyle choices is affecting young adults, both single and married? Is adulthood a thing of the past or has it simply been redefined? [Note: MY answer.]

I'm not a baby person. Give me a fifth grader to hang out with any day over a drooling, cooing, pudgy-legged infant.

Last night my husband (bless him!)  and I went to see the David Balmes' documentary Babies — 90 minutes of drooling, cooing, pooping, bug-eating, wobbly-stepped action, portraying the triumphs and defeats of babydom on the big screen. We laughed. We sighed. We cringed.

I recently read an article about this unique documentary that chronicles 18 months in the life of four babies — one each in Namibia, Mongolia, Tokyo and San Francisco. This description was one of the reasons I wanted to see the film:

Scenes are presented without narration, which is one of the film’s great strengths. “I don’t like to take the viewer by the hand,” says Balmes. But there’s no guidance needed to get the message of Babies, which demonstrates that despite how little these far-flung families seem to have in common, when it comes to our earliest experiences, humans around the world aren’t so different after all.

Imparting such lessons is the overarching goal of Babies, which Balmes insists is about more than adorable cheeks and chubby toes. He hopes the film inspires viewers to see the world anew. “Hopefully it will make some of them want to have kids, too,” he says. “It’s one of the most beautiful things in the world.”

Parenthood beautiful? Yes. But this documentary doesn't sugar-coat life with a baby. There is hard work and sacrifice involved. Still, the journey is a tender one as this film makes clear.

I walked out of the theater slightly disappointed. I think I expected the film to convert me into a baby person. Perhaps it will take being a parent myself someday to do that. But this film serves as a reminder to something important — a child is a miracle and a blessing. How do you feel about babies?

[Note: Read a review of Babies at Plugged In. The film contains nudity and spiritual content.]

Earlier this month, on a Wednesday morning, I slipped our new videocamera into my jacket pocket and headed out the door with my wife and oldest daughter. We were going to the hospital to hear our 10-week-old baby's heartbeat for the first time, and I wanted to capture that exciting moment.

We arrived and checked in, and then were ushered to an examination room where we'd hear that heartbeat. The medical technician pressed the fetal doppler unit against my wife's belly and moved it around. My daughter moved to the side to get a closer look. We heard my wife's heart, pulsing slowly. We heard unknown swishes and gurgles. But that baby's heartbeat was elusive.

The technician moved us to another room, where our doctor would take a closer look using an ultrasound machine. Once again a medical device was pressed up against my wife's belly, this time not to listen, but to see. The doctor moved the monitor so that my wife could see better. My daughter sat on my lap, excited to see the tiny baby that was growing inside her mommy's belly, excited to get a peek at her new baby brother or sister.

"This doesn't look good," the doctor whispered.

The monitor showed an open space, which I interpreted as my wife's uterus. No spine, no little appendages. Just an open space.

Our doctor zoomed in. On the left side of the open space was a small clump, affixed to the uterine wall. He measured it at less than half an inch -- not the size you'd expect from a 10-week-old baby. Tears came to my wife's eyes. Her face flushed.

The doctor left and came back with two assistants. After another exam, the doctor confirmed with us that the baby had died, probably some time in early March. He assured us that it wasn't our fault, that sometimes this just happens.

I close my eyes and my imagination goes back a month. I see this tiny baby boy or girl, its tiny heart clicking away at 140 beats per minute. To the degree it's able, it's feeling secure, and loved. Then something goes terribly wrong. And our tiny baby with a full-grown spirit opens her eyes not her mommy's face, but her Savior's face.

When we got home from the hospital, my wife went upstairs to be alone and my daughter went to the back yard to play with her sisters. I walked to the family room, took the videocamera out of my pocket, and laid it gently on the counter.

It was around this time 11 years ago that my marriage started making the transition from two people to three (and eventually more).

A lot of our friends tell us that the transition into marriage (from one person to two people) was a traumatic change for them and perhaps the toughest year of their lives. We found the transition into marriage to be very manageable, while the transition to parenting was much more challenging. You can read some of our transition story here (or a longer version here).

Where are you today when it comes to having children? Are you talking about it more as a couple? Are you on the same page about when and whether to start trying? Are you worried about the costs or the effect on your marriage?

Wherever you are on the process, I think you'll appreciate the new article collection that was recently added to the Focus on the Family marriage area called "Preparing to Start a Family."

In 1983, an organization named Christian Action Council (now known as Care Net), founded with the help of Francis Schaeffer and former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, "asked President Ronald Reagan to create a special day to focus on the intrinsic value of human life." That same year, "President Reagan issued a proclamation establishing a National Sanctity of Human Life Sunday."

Here's a portion of President Reagan's proclamation the following year marking the anniversary of Roe v. Wade as "fitting ... [to] reflect anew" on our responsibility to "care for the lives and freedoms of even the weakest of our fellow human beings."

Since 1973, however, more than 15 million unborn children have died in legalized abortions -- a tragedy of stunning dimensions that stands in sad contrast to our belief that each life is sacred. These children, over tenfold the number of Americans lost in all our Nation's wars, will never laugh, never sing, never experience the joy of human love; nor will they strive to heal the sick, or feed the poor, or make peace among nations. Abortion has denied them the first and most basic of human rights, and we are infinitely poorer for their loss.

We are poorer not simply for lives not led and for contributions not made, but also for the erosion of our sense of the worth and dignity of every individual. To diminish the value of one category of human life is to diminish us all. Slavery, which treated Blacks as something less than human, to be bought and sold if convenient, cheapened human life and mocked our dedication to the freedom and equality of all men and women. Can we say that abortion -- which treats the unborn as something less than human, to be destroyed if convenient -- will be less corrosive to the values we hold dear?

We are poorer still. The 15 million "lives not led" President Reagan referred to has now grown to 50 million. And such a number can numb us into believing that nothing we do matters. But I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful because pregency center ministries like Care Net are increasing and initiatives like Focus on the Family's Option Ultrasound are making a difference. I'm hopeful because for the first time in 15 years more Americans identify themselves as pro-life than pro-choice.

I'm hopeful mainly because I serve a great God. And God can turn a nation to protect the lives of pre-born babies. Even one that has shed their blood for 37 years.

This Sunday, January 24th, is National Sanctity of Human Life Day. Please take an opportunity this weekend to consider how God may be calling you to "care for the lives and freedoms of even the weakest of our fellow human beings."

My baby daughter awoke and began crying, so I walked in to her room to see how I could help.

After checking her diaper and giving her a bit of bottle, I set her back in her crib. She was still whimpering a bit, so I began to sing gently over her. As I stroked her head and sang of Christ's love for her, and her parents' love for her, she quieted and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

As I sang over her.

Walking back to my room I found myself stunned at this revelation: Just as her papa sang peace over her, so my Papa sings peace over me. Never in my 37 years as a single guy had this truth been so vividly revealed. Never before had I gotten such a vision of the fatherly love God has for me.

The Lord has many blessings for those in their single years. But some He reserves for the married-with-children years.

That's what a recent study conducted in Britain concludes. XX Factor reports:

In contrast to previous research that indicates an inverse relationship between satisfaction and number of children, this particular study, which tracked 10,000 British households over 15 years, found that the more kids you have, the happier you are. I think that would come as news to those parents who've decided to raise a singleton because they also want to have a life of their own.

The study, conducted by Dr. Luis Angeles from the University of Glasgow in the UK, confirms something I've felt personally. I was raised in a very happy family with four children. Dr. Angeles' study lumps together all "large" families with four children or more. One fascinating aspect of the findings is the direct correlation between this happiness and raising children together:

Angeles discounts research that has found child-rearing is lots of work and little reward. Unlike previous studies, he has factored in the role of individual characteristics—including marital status, gender, age, income and education—and found that most parents rate kids as the most important or nearly the most important things in their lives. Those who view children negatively are people who are separated, living together but unmarried, or veteran singles who never married.

So, in essence, his research isn't an ode to kids as much as a shout-out to marriage. Raise a crop of kids alone and they can feel like a burden; do it in tandem and it's a shared legacy.

What great research in defense of the joy of raising children within solid marriages. We often receive messages from the media, friends and even family that children will alter marriage in a negative way -- less freedom, more work, more financial strain. This study seems to indicate that the payoff is worth the extra effort. Not to mention, for believers, the "shared legacy" of raising godly children is that much more significant.

The proud papa announced the birth of their newest child, bringing the total number of children to 12. "Stunning!" said some. "Breeder!" mocked others. "Irresponsible!" decried yet others.

But for Jacob, 12 wasn't enough. Some time after child number 12, he added one more to the family.