Someone posted a comment on my blog about leading wanting more help with understanding submission.

If leading is tough, submission is probably tougher. I could write a book on this (actually, I did) because I feel so strongly about the issue and it's so difficult to apply to real-life marriage.

I've learned to understand submission in terms of power, not weakness. God has given women a tremendous amount of power in marriage. A woman can literally destroy her husband with her words and attitudes. Submission, in essence, is God's warning to be careful with how she uses that power and influence.

Guys have very sensitive egos. That's not a criticism, it's a statement. A man's confidence/competence is critical to his functioning in every area. His wife has the power to either build him up or tear him down -- it's her choice.

Think of submission not so much in terms of letting your husband make every decision in your household, but more in terms of your attitude toward him. Do you trust him? Do you believe in him? Are you rooting for him to succeed in life? Will you still be by his side if/when he fails? These are not feelings -- they are choices.

"A wise woman builds her house, the foolish one tears hers down with her own hands" (Proverbs 14:1).