Dr. Gary Smalley invited a couple of experts to offer six killer marriage tips.

A warning: It's a bit painful to watch.

I'm interested to hear your opinions about these tips. Have you found yourself using them with your spouse? If so, how did that work out for you?

So instead of grumbling again about the disarray in which I found my sock drawer, I asked my wife if, the next time she wrapped up laundry, she could match the socks before putting them away.

The next time the sock drawer was replenished, all the pairs of socks were nestled next to their mate, holding fast to each other with a simple roll at the open end.

Instead of feeling a simple lack of discontentment, and instead of simply feeling thankful that she had helped make my mornings that much more efficient, I actually felt loved.

Yup, I imagined my wife washing a load of laundry, moving the clothes into the dryer ... and then spending the time rifling through 20 seemingly disparate socks, finding a match for each, and gently tucking them into my sock drawer. A fruitless effort for her personally, something that doesn't personally benefit her routine, but something that makes mine go just that much more smoothly.

And that makes me feel loved. I feel loved, and humbled, when Ashleigh inconveniences herself for me in this way.

Which, naturally, makes me think of you. What makes you feel loved? Have you told your spouse what makes you feel loved? Now, why don't you take a risk and tell them?

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

I share that dream for my three little children, a dream explored in the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s most deservedly influential speech.

Why has MLK's speech endured? Why are we hearing excerpts of it today on TV and talk radio? Because it's true: While skin color, ethnicity, cultural heritage, and the such are of some interest, those things ultimately define neither us nor our neighbors.

Today, as I remember the work of Rev. King, I'm finding my very understanding of "race" challenged. Maybe I need to move beyond the concept of "race relations," perhaps even doing away with using the term "race" altogether, at least as it's typically defined. After all, what if this premise -- that "race" is even relevant -- is the very obstacle keeping us from true reconciliation, from making peace with those who look different from us?

If you're intrigued by any of this, I challenge you to read the following four-part series by Thabiti Anyabwile and leave your comments below. If you're on Facebook, I'd further challenge you to share these articles there, with the hopes of extending this discussion outside of the Focus on the Family community.

• Race Relations: Rethinking Christian Identity (share)
• Race Relations: Six Problems with 'Race' (share)
• Race Relations: Moving Forward (share)
• Race Relations: Live It (share)

It's clear that those who have a good deal of money tend not to be as acutely aware of their need for the Lord. Which often makes it difficult for them to turn to Him for salvation.

But Scripture is clear that some people are rewarded for their obedience with financial wealth. Those who are faithful with little are given more. Some of Jesus' disciples were rich, after all.

And that means that the accumulation of wealth is not inherently a bad thing.

I, for one, appreciate rich people. I tuned into a show last night that featured the homes of the very wealthy. The artwork and craftsmanship was stunning. It made me starkly aware of the potential that people have to create beautiful work. If it weren't for these wealthy individuals, artists and craftsmen wouldn't have had the funds to produce such beauty.

I think about works of art through the centuries -- paintings, carvings, music, and the like -- that wouldn't exist were it not for wealthy patrons. And I'm grateful for their contributions.

Earlier this week I was reminded how Boundless, Focus on the Family's ministry for young adults, began. A wealthy individual had a vision for a publication that would encourage 20-somethings toward intentional, godly living. And in 1998 he wrote a check for $100,000 to get things started. I'm grateful for his contribution.

Yes, there are many rich people who are entirely selfish, who use their money to subjugate and oppress others, to insulate themselves from the needs of those around them. They may even get their money at others' expense or through immoral means.

But there are many others who have been financially blessed for whatever reason, and who use their money to improve the world around them. And I do not resent them for their money; that's the knee-jerk response schismatic demagogues like Marx would want me to have. No, I am grateful for their contribution to the beauty and edification of this world.

I appreciate rich people.

(I should add that I really struggled to find an image to accompany this blog post. Most of the ones I found online represented wealthy people as self-obsessed phonies who made, and spent, their money in unethical ways. Sigh.)

My baby daughter awoke and began crying, so I walked in to her room to see how I could help.

After checking her diaper and giving her a bit of bottle, I set her back in her crib. She was still whimpering a bit, so I began to sing gently over her. As I stroked her head and sang of Christ's love for her, and her parents' love for her, she quieted and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

As I sang over her.

Walking back to my room I found myself stunned at this revelation: Just as her papa sang peace over her, so my Papa sings peace over me. Never in my 37 years as a single guy had this truth been so vividly revealed. Never before had I gotten such a vision of the fatherly love God has for me.

The Lord has many blessings for those in their single years. But some He reserves for the married-with-children years.

I found myself on a singles discussion board the other day, reading an entry from a young man who shared the following:

I am male. I am single. I've always been shy, but I've improved. I've gotten to where I can actually talk to beautiful women.

However, there's one particular woman in the Singles group at church who is extremely beautiful, and manages to turn my brain into mush. If I try to talk to her, I end up saying/doing something stupid. Any suggestions?

While I can relate to his situation, I think we're harmed by using the innocuous word "shy." Such a term is not biblical, and so biblical counsel on how to overcome "shyness" can't be found, leaving this man with little hope.

The biblical term for this young man's feeling of insecurity is "fear of man" -- an anxiety about what others will think of you if you say or do something. The "antidote" for fear of man, now that we've identified the term, is simple: fear God instead. Consider the dangers of "fear of man":

The fear of man lays a snare,
but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. (Proverbs 29:25)

Now consider the rewards of "fear of God":

Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
who fears the LORD. (Psalm 128:4)

The LORD is on my side; I will not fear.
What can man do to me? (Psalm 118:6)

When Scripture speaks of fearing God, it's encouraging us to value God's opinion of us rather than the mere opinions of other people. If God is leading you to say or do something, then when you say or do those things, you are the recipient of His favor. No reason to fear man when the Lord is smiling on you; after all, when the Lord is on your side, what can man do to you?

Let me encourage you to reconsider the "shyness" that might be evident in your own life. Instead of claiming that you can't say or do something because you're "shy," confess that you're "fearing man" and pray that the Lord change your heart to instead fear Him. And He will reward your faithfulness.

I was clicking through some posts on a singles forum and came across one titled "Dream wife and Dream husband."

I admit that I was surprised at the maturity of the responses. Dream spouse characteristics included honest, church-going, non-judgmental, secure, empathetic and so on. Of course, there were some silly ones in there too: "Like Eve before the fall."

The thread got me thinking about some teaching I heard a few years ago before I got married, a talk given by Pastor Dave Harvey called "When Sinners Say I Do." The gist of the sermon was that if I enter into marriage knowing that my wife will sin, then I won't be shocked and disappointed when ... surprise ... she does sin. And she shouldn't be dismayed when I sin.

The material in the sermon (now a book) shows how you can tell whether your doctrine of sin is being applied effectively in your relationship. The first "indicator" is: "We are More Aware of Being a Sinner Than Being Sinned-Against." It's good to recognize our fallibility before we dig into our spouse for his or her fallibility.

What I took away after listening to the sermon was an encouragement to practice grace and to have realistic expectations, expectations based in what Scripture says about human nature. And to respond humbly, even gratefully, when my wife points out my sin.

I think it may be helpful to think of "The One" as someone who's sinful, just as you are. I think that's better than to think of them as the idealized "soul mate" (see this and this) with whom you'll be able to enjoy a problem-free, effortless relationship.

While it's true that we should do a good deal of work "up-front" in selecting a spouse, it's also true that because we're all sinful, a good relationship will continue to take a good deal of effort and require a good deal of grace.

I love to cook. For me, it's a joy to put together a good meal for my friends and family.

I've got a good knife, a couple of good cutting boards, a non-stick pad and rolling pin, a stove that has two ovens in it, a deep fryer, a gas grill and a few other gadgets.

But the coolest thing is that I've got a shelf full of good spices. Let's go through it together, shall we? Rubbed sage, parsley flakes, oregano, ground coriander seed, ground cumin, Dalmatian sage leaves, rosemary leaves, liquid smoke, kosher salt, Indian Malabar peppercorns, fennel seed, marjoram leaves, yellow mustard seed, cayenne pepper, chipotle chile pepper, whole cloves, cilantro, herbes de provence, sweet paprika, regular paprika, thyme, ground Mediterranean oregano, vanilla extract, bay leaves, ground nutmeg, whole cardamom, anise seed, dill weed, whole Jamaica allspice, poppy seed, curry powder, crushed red pepper, Mediterranean basil leaves, ground mustard, Stubb's chile-lime spice rub, juniper berries, cumin seed and something in a small Tupperware container that I don't recognize.

In the fridge I've got some aged balsamic vinegar, onions, garlic, cornichons, ginger, capers, lemon juice, Mr. Yoshida's marinade, organic chicken and beef broth, mole sauce, biryani curry paste, tandoori marinade and horseradish. Of course I have some EVOO and sesame oil and ghee and butter to bring the flavors to life.

I was whipping up some homemade chicken noodle soup the other day, and it struck me how God conceived of such a variety of foods and spices. He could have provided us one type of nourishment, and bodies that couldn't appreciate flavor. And that would have been all right. But instead, He saw fit to create for our enjoyment a diversity of tastes and textures.

What am I to think of such a powerful God who in His manifold generosity went through all the effort to make our lives not just endurable, but enjoyable? What a kind God; His kindness is witnessed even in the diversity of food He's provided us to enjoy.