I do not mean this in the negative way in which it may first appear.

Fun story: I'm going on a business trip this weekend and will be gone for four days. The past few weeks have been very busy, because my husband, Kevin, assumed a new position at work. So ... we've been running a little ragged.

Kevin asked if I could take a morning off this week, so we could spend a little extra time together, so I arranged to have this morning off. Last night, when I got home from work, our bags were packed and Kevin told me to grab a few things I would need. An hour later, as we pulled into a mysterious location while I kept my eyes closed, I discovered that Kevin had used a name-your-own-price hotel finder to book a room at a local resort for dollars more than our occasional sushi dinner out. When you book the day of you can (evidently) save $250 on a room!

There are many things that were wonderful about this experience. A) We enjoyed some much-needed time together away from our day-to-day responsibilities; B) My sweet husband treated me to a special getaway; C) We paid about the price we'd spend on a nice dinner out; D) I feel totally refreshed but was still able to be back to work by noon.

What about you? How do you get away together? What deals have you discovered to make such getaways affordable?

Yesterday I noticed a humorous Facebook post from a friend. It said: "What Valentine's Day looks like after 46 years of marriage — my mom made a heart-shaped meatloaf covered with ketchup for lunch (or 'dinner' as they say on the farm in Iowa). Nice, if you like meatloaf (which my dad does)."

I recently heard of another couple who had been married for nearly five decades. "I feel loved by my wife," the man said, "because she brings me a cup of coffee every morning."

Wow. As a newlywed, I often think in terms of the big gestures when it comes to loving my husband — things like affirming conversations and celebrations. I don't always think about the small things that might make him feel cared for. I know for me, I feel loved when Kevin lets me park my car in our driveway (while he parks in a spot on the other side of our townhome complex). I feel cared for when he sends me an "I love you" text message during his morning break. And I even feel loved when he brings home my favorite latte. (He works at a coffee shop.)

Two weekends ago, I had to wake up hours before church on a Sunday morning to finish a freelance project. Though Kevin could have kept sleeping, he stumbled downstairs a few minutes later and made me pancakes. That is love.

What are the little things that you and your spouse do for each other? How do these "love habits" build your relationship?

Kevin and I recently shared a new experience — selecting cell phones. My position on a new phone is that choosing it is ultimately an inconvenience, because I'm used to my old phone. A new phone means I have to relearn where everything is and adjust to annoying new features. Before you think I sound old and out of touch, you should know that I have access to a computer and the Internet pretty much 24/7, so I don't use my phone for anything other than making calls and sending text messages.

When I go to get a new phone, I request something that is "most like" my old phone. This is usually a basic model that I end up getting for free. Kevin, on the other hand, loves new technology. He also has less daily computer access than I do, so he depends on his phone for e-mail. The upshot? He wanted a fancy phone (Droid, anyone?). Although, choosing our new phones went off without a hitch, I discovered something: Kevin places a much higher value on having the latest technology — even at a high cost — than I do. I'm satisfied with practical electronics; he wants cutting edge.

This made me think of my brother who is a worship pastor at a small church. He has an iPhone. He and his family scrimp and save in other areas so that he can have a super-cool phone (which he utilizes to the max). In addition, he uses the budget he controls to invest in high quality equipment to run his service with excellence. His choices to purchase what he considers essential new technology have occasionally come under scrutiny. "But I need these things to run a quality service," he says.

What about you? Do you and your spouse have different levels of appreciation for the newest gadgets? Do you think a case can be made for spending more at times to possess the latest technology? Apple is the perfect example of people paying more for gadgets that are cutting-edge, quality and just downright cool (in my opinion). And that's our generation. But I can see how technical differences could lead to technical difficulties. At this point I'm content to let Kevin enjoy the latest technology — even if my boring, old phone drops less calls.

This Sunday, my husband and I taught the second- through fourth-grade class at our church. We told them the Old Testament story of Joshua and the Israelites crossing the Jordan River (Joshua 3-4). Besides the theme of "be strong and courageous," a point we talked about was the remembrance stones. After God stopped the waters of the Jordan, so that His people could walk across on the dry riverbed, God commanded them to pick up 12 stones—one for each tribe of Israel—and pile them at the river's bank. He knew that the people would quickly forget His mighty power and protection, and He wanted them to remember the significance of that day.

My husband and I have our own way of remembering God's power in bringing us together. I was single through my 20s, and Kevin endured several heartbreaking relationships before we met. Both of us recognize the great gift God has given us in each other. But on the bad days—the stressful ones—we can forget. So we choose to remember.

Our "remembering days" are plentiful: the day we began dating, the day we got engaged, the day we got married, the day we met for the first time, the day we went on our first date. We celebrate almost every anniversary possible. We may leave a little note, rise early to eat breakfast together, go out for coffee or just send a text message. I realize that over time some of these "remembering days" may fall away, but right now each one reminds me what God has done in bringing my husband into my life. When I think about His great faithfulness in orchestrating our relationship, I am filled with gratitude and faith for the journey ahead.

What are your remembering days? How do they help keep faith for your marriage strong?

What is the big deal about celebrating Jesus' birth?

This is the question Joe Cassara asks in his essay "A Weary World Rejoices." He writes:

As Christian holidays go, Easter makes sense. Sure, the bunnies and eggs date back to a fertility goddess and pagan worship of life, but the celebration of Jesus risen from the dead is the date the fight was won, not the day the fighter was born.

Birth, he points out, isn't exactly an accomplishment. So why the big celebration? The significance of Christ's birth was finally illuminated to Cassara through some painful personal circumstances. After his wife's two miscarriages, he felt broken, shunned by God and unwilling to try again. Then:

Fast forward one year. Exactly one year. July 10th, 2009. My wife gave birth to twins. Natural twins. Not that I bought, but that we made, together. And so now I get it, I understand how a birth can be redemptive. How a birth from two broken people can heal pain, can turn many teary eyes toward God. I can be arrogant, but I'm not arrogant in this. What we wanted so badly, what we needed to heal us, came in the form of two babies. Hear me … we didn’t need babies to heal us, we needed to know that our God was trustworthy. I wonder why God wrote the rules in a way that two people need to get together in order to pop out a baby. He could have just made it so people crawl out of ocean at 11 years old, self-sufficient, no relationship between parents and children. But He didn't...

And so on Christmas, the day we've chosen to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I understand this year for the first time why a birth can be celebrated; why the farmers and prophets and businessmen back when Jesus was born were brought to their knees on his birthday. They were broken, run down and in real need of redemption that had been promised for thousands of years. And so Jesus’ birth was much more than the start of something ... it was the end of a long line of waiting.

Christ's birth was an answer to our need. His birth initiated the physical hope for salvation that ancient believers had been waiting for — and the hope we desperately need today. If you're broken, run down and in need of redemption this year ... rejoice! The Savior has come!

My husband and I love children's ministry. It's one of the things the first drew us together. In fact, it was the wordless book bracelet I was wearing -- a children's ministry tool -- that caught my husband's interest and caused him to strike up a conversation with me at Starbucks. Both of us have taught children since we were teenagers. So when we were offered the opportunity to teach the fifth and sixth grade Sunday school class at our church this past Sunday, we were excited about the opportunity.

As we set to work developing the lessons, planning how we would deliver it and assigning duties, unexpected frustrations began to crop up. I like to envision point B, the finished product -- in all its excellence and glory -- and then carefully plan every step to get there. Kevin prefers to take in the teaching material in a more comprehensive manner and then formulate point B on the spot. But we were unaware of this big style difference going into the project.

And so it happened that I ended up in tears on Sunday morning as the friction of our varying styles ignited. There was a trench coat (for our dectective skit) that needed to be ironed at the very last moment, and we were rushing out of the house to print out the needed small group leader guides. I felt out of control because so many details were yet unfinalized, and my husband, who thrives on creating in the last moment, couldn't understand my angst.

On the way to church, after we had planned enough to pull me out of panic mode, we talked about what an odd "problem" we had. Both of us are gifted teachers, and yet we achieve the same end through very different means. And once the two styles adjust to one another, they are very complementary. Kevin has a talent for the impromptu that I lack, and my interest in a well-planned message and delivery only stengthens the finished product.

At first blush, our personality differences were a problem, but upon closer inspection, we see that they actually make us a great team.

Kevin apologized for unwittingly causing me to panic and said, "I want to set you up for success." And that is the basis of true cooperation -- setting one another up to succeed. How do personality differences between you and your spouse strengthen what you can do together? What ways have you found to work together?

What makes people feel beautiful ... or not?

For me it was my flawed skin that made me feel unbeautiful for years. I wrote about it in "Beauty Skin Deep:"

I think most women suffer from insecurities about their bodies — weight, body shape, waist size — but to have your biggest imperfection be your face is especially demoralizing. Psalm 34:5 says: "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."

For me, it felt opposite. My face was a source of shame. During college I became so discouraged that I cut my beauty routine to the bare essentials — foundation and a ponytail. I basically lost hope in my attractiveness. It wasn't a godly loss of pride; it was a stubborn belief that I was not pretty and nothing I could do would change that.

With maturity, came greater confidence (as one friend put it, "In your 30s you get over yourself"), but the fact that I would probably never have good skin nagged at me. Before I was married, when dates were few and far between, I inwardly assumed my "ugly" skin played a part. I'd become skilled at covering up the blemishes, but a part of me definitely felt like an outsider to the truly beautiful.

The thing I came to realize was that these feelings were selfish. God made me to be a vessel for His use. And He calls the vessel wonderful (Ps. 139:14). When I deny that and get all caught up in a pity party about my outward appearance, I miss God-given opportunities to minister. I can even frustrate my husband when I refuse a sincere compliment from him on my beauty. A joyful response blesses my husband. Realizing that my insecurities about my physical appearance can actually hinder God's great plan was a breakthrough for me.

Regardless of my own opinion on my looks, God desired to use me to minister to others. And that required looking them in the face — without shame — and being that radiant reflection of the One who filled me with hope and life. After all, God was the one who had created me with my flawed-skin genes. As much angst as it had caused me, there was a purpose in it.

Maybe for you, acne isn't the issue. Maybe another physical characteristic is causing you to count yourself out from among the beautiful. Whatever you're struggling to accept about yourself, realize that it is part of who you are for a reason. And it doesn't hinder true beauty — the kind that draws people to Jesus through you. Let the Lord inform your opinion on what is beautiful. Then you will shine.

I remember a scene from several years ago when I was visiting my parents over the Christmas holiday. We were all talking as mom was preparing a meal. She began recounting an experience she and Dad had recently had at her school's Christmas party (she's a teacher). "Your dad jumped in there and started talking to people and making everybody laugh," she said. "He's just so good with people!"

At that moment, I glanced over at my father and saw the most beautiful look of pride and satisfaction on his face. His wife had just bragged on him ... in public ... to his own family.

I once heard that it is a good parenting technique to praise a child in public and correct him in private. This demonstrates respect for the child and builds his self-confidence in the presence of others. These ideas take root, too. As a teenager, I often overheard my mom telling others that I was so good with children ... that they were attracted to me like a magnet. Today I am heavily involved in children's ministry.

I think public praise is a good idea for husbands and wives, too. A mentor used to quote Proverbs 27:2: "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips." He made the point that we should be generous with our praise and not hold back because much true encouragement flows from public praise.

And what better person to receive praise from than your husband or wife -- the person who knows you best. Last week, we picked up a copy of a book I wrote (my first one) at the Christian bookstore. My husband couldn't help but tell the salesperson that I wrote the book. Though I was slightly embarrassed by the attention, it felt so good to have my husband praise me.

Like Proverbs 31:28 says: "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." We often focus on being praiseworthy, but the praiser also possesses great power.