
What causes some men and women stray in marriage and others to remain committed? Can the answer be found in science? The New York Times article, "The Science of a Happy Marriage," takes a look at some of the latest and greatest studies on marital commitment.
A growing body of research is focusing on the science of commitment. Scientists are studying everything from the biological factors that seem to influence marital stability to a person’s psychological response after flirting with a stranger.
Their findings suggest that while some people may be naturally more resistant to temptation, men and women can also train themselves to protect their relationships and raise their feelings of commitment.
According to the studies, strong commitment levels may not be linked to the factors you'd expect:
It may not be feelings of love or loyalty that keep couples together. Instead, scientists speculate that your level of commitment may depend on how much a partner enhances your life and broadens your horizons — a concept that Arthur Aron, a psychologist and relationship researcher at Stony Brook University, calls “self-expansion.”
The Stony Brook researchers conducted experiments using activities that stimulated self-expansion. Some couples were given mundane tasks, while others took part in a silly exercise in which they were tied together and asked to crawl on mats, pushing a foam cylinder with their heads. The study was rigged so the couples failed the time limit on the first two tries, but just barely made it on the third, resulting in much celebration.
Couples were given relationship tests before and after the experiment. Those who had taken part in the challenging activity posted greater increases in love and relationship satisfaction than those who had not experienced victory together.
Do you experience "self-expansion" in your marriage? The great thing is, if you feel this attribute is lacking it's easy to incorporate more of it into your marriage.
Now the researchers are embarking on a series of studies to measure how self-expansion influences a relationship. They theorize that couples who explore new places and try new things will tap into feelings of self-expansion, lifting their level of commitment.
Ultimately, commitment in Christian marriages is not about what you get out of the relationship but what you put into it (with the help of the Holy Spirit). Still, exploring, learning and growing together is a great way to deepen the bond of your relationship. And now you've got science to back that up.
HT: The Point