These are unusual times. The convulsing American economy has left a lot of people (and primarily a lot of husbands) either unemployed or under-employed. American political leaders are pushing a change agenda that leaves many people feeling insecure about what the future holds.

At this point of uncertainty, I've noticed some people holding up Jeremiah 29:11 for encouragement: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That message to the Jewish exiles offers great hope and encouragement.

But that hope had a lot to do with what God had directed (through Jeremiah) for the exiles to do while they were living in uncertain times:

This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." (Jeremiah 29:4-7)

God's message to the exiles is to be fruitful and prayerful when they're tempted to be fearful. He encourages engagement with the earthy stuff of life (building houses, settling down, planting gardens and enjoying their produce), a focus on family (marrying and having children) and care for where they are (seeking the peace and prosperity of the city, praying to the Lord for it).

As we trust God for our hope and future, these directives for life in exile might just be the focal point we need to keep us fruitful and hopeful in uncertain times.

What could building, planting, family making and praying look like in your life at this time?

"Unsubscribe."

That's the link I've been looking for on a lot of the emails coming my way over the past few days.

Every January I like to start the year with a fresh slate. As part of that process I re-evaluate my commitments to see if what sounded like a good idea at the time is still something worth doing.

It includes thinking about what I'm committed to at work and also what I've taken on outside of work in the form of projects and freelance opportunities. It also leads me to look at my routine with fresh eyes--to review the way I spend my mornings, evenings and weekends.

This year is the first year, however, that I thought to look again at my email box. It's amazing how much clutter can accumulate in an email box. Things I signed up for quite a while ago keep rolling in and wanting my time and attention. Things I don't remember ever wanting keep showing up and adding unncessary clutter.

It's felt great to take a few extra seconds lately and, instead of debating if I should give an email some of my time and attention, to just go ahead and decide to unsubscribe. My inbox is getting less and less cluttered and one more area of my life seems a little simpler.

The payoff for de-cluttering inboxes, calendars and our routines is that it earns us more time and attention for what matters most in life -- God, the work He's called us to do and the relationships He's given us. The more my wife and I take on de-cluttering projects like this, the more time and attention we have available for kingdom work each other and our kids.

Where could you de-clutter in order to make this a more meaningful year?

It can be hard to believe the best in marriage.

Here's a scene that's happened more than once for me:

My wife, Candice, has gone out for a social function. The clock creeps past the time she said she'd probably be home. I call her to see if she's okay. No answer.

I start to worry. I'm thinking, "What happened? Was she in an accident?"
 
Then I start to wonder, "Is she really okay, but ignoring my calls because she wants to be out late and doesn't mind making me worry?"

This line of thinking can give me a pretty sick feeling in my stomach.

A few minutes later, I hear the garage door open and Candice comes in. She says she's sorry but she had phone problems and she wasn't able to call about the delay she ran into.

Everything's okay. I was anxious for nothing. I should have believed the best, but I didn't. Something in me wanted to assume the worst.

That temptation can come up a lot -- over budget issues, housecleaning, birthdays, calendar decisions, whether the toilet lid is left up or down, you name it. On a regular basis, we get the opportunity to assume the worst about each other or to believe the best.

You might think that believing the best is a trait for naive optimists who end up being taken advantage of, but I've heard from friends in the marriage research world that it's one of the secrets of successful couples.

They link it to that old proverb: go into finding your spouse with your eyes wide open and then live out your marriage with your eyes half shut. In other words, be discerning enough to marry a person of good character, but then give them the benefit of the doubt as you live out your lives as fallen people in need of grace.

What anxiety could you avoid, what needless fights could you skip, what relational growth could you cultivate by believing the best?

In case you haven't caught the promo over in the right-hand column, I wanted to draw your attention to a four-part interview series that the Weekend Magazine broadcast has been airing this month.

In this series, my wife Candice and I interview Phil Joel (former bassist for the Newsboys) and his wife Heather. If you've only heard of Phil through the Newsboys, it's worth listening to the interview just to see what he's up to since becoming a single artist. But the real payoff in this interview is hearing Phil and Heather talk about how transforming a simple commitment to quiet time with God can be.

Candice and I already had a quiet time routine going, but the time we spent with Phil and Heather inspired us to press in even more -- to pursue the kind of intimacy with God that the Joels have sought out and experienced. It's life changing.

Click here to find a station that's airing Weekend Magazine in your area. Also, to find out more about the Joels, their great ministry, and the awesome music Phil is putting out these days, visit: deliberatePeople.com/.

How do you feel about your couch? In addition to the pillows, blankets and side tables that go with it, what stories go with your couch?

Our first couch was among a handful of things I contributed to our marriage. I bought it before going to graduate school and was proud of the few extra dollars I put into it (compared to what most of my friends were willing to pay for a couch at the time).

It was fairly clean, had no rips and only had one owner. And so we kept it to furnish our first townhome. It was perfect for lounging by the fire, napping on Sunday afternoons and snuggling up for movies.

But then Candice started thinking more about all the friends of mine who had slept on that couch over the years for multiple nights in a row.  And then there was the night we had my Vice President and his wife over for dinner where we remember my VP being visible shaken by the discomfort of sitting down on our couch. And so it was time to look for a new couch.

I still remember the lady who sold us our first couch as a married couple. For some reason, she kept bringing everything back to her dog "Ramble." Weird. But the most important thing she said that day was "Scotchguard"--as in the extra treatment to make the couch last longer. It seemed like a needless upsell at first until she reminded us that one day we'd probably have kids who wouldn't be as careful as we are.

Looking back now we appreciate that encouragement because that couch now has a lot more stories than our starter couch--and most of them have something to do with our creative kids who have fully tested the limits of Scotchguard.

So, if you're planning to look at couches this weekend, consider the look that will fit your style, the price that will fit your budget, but especially consider which one can accumulate the most stories from the years of marriage and family ahead of you.

The most worn towels in our home used to be the nicest ones we had. They are the blue towels that have "cWs" monogrammed on them.  I'm proud of the wear and tear those towels have now because I thought I'd never get to use them.

As Candice and I moved into our first townhome years ago, I was glad to pull out the plush, brand new towels featuring our monogram alongside the ragged towels that we brought together from our single years. So imagine my surprise the first time I reached for one of those nice towels and was told they were off-limits--because they were decorative. I didn't own any "decorative" towels as a single guy. All my towels served a function. Candice's desire to protect these decorative towels at the time reminded me of the scene in the movie Spinal Tap when Nigel gets all guarded about one of his guitars and tells Rob Reiner, "Don't touch it. Don't even look at it."

Fortunately, Candice didn't keep those towels off limits forever. I finally got to use them and as I mentioned, they are now our most worn. Part of me even wishes I hadn't suggested we actually use those towels. Looking back, this was an area of compromise for us. I learned not to touch the off-limits decorative towels for a season and Candice allowed her desire for beauty to be balanced by utilitarian needs. Interestingly, I can't think of any thing left in our home that has a useful function but is only allowed to be used as decoration. I think that's a good thing. What do you think?