Last weekend, Mike and I took the boys skiing in Breckenridge. The first run of the day, we all five went up the same lift. At the top of the mountain, I asked Mike what run he thought we should go down. He said that he didn't care -- he would just follow me.

Off we went. I chose a blue run that had some mogels. Two of my kids love mogels. Halfway down the run, Mike and one of my sons (who are both learning to snowboard) had taken more than a few spills. They branched off to a different way down.

At the bottom of the mountain, Mike challenged my choice, "Why would you start out the day with mogels? We weren't even warmed up!" I responded, "You told me to pick the way down. Don't criticize my choice! Next time, you pick the route."

It got me thinking about all of the times I have done this to Mike. I ask him to lead spiritually, financially, in parenting, but then I critique and blast him for the choices he made. It's no fun to lead when you know you're going to catch heat if you make the wrong choice.

Perhaps that is why so many guys are leery of taking a leadership role in the marriage. The times they've tried, their wives have been right there, armchair quarterbacking. Eventually, he just throws his arms up in the air and says, "I'm done. You lead!"

I'd challenge you to have a conversation about this with your spouse. Wives, ask your husband if he's ever felt like I did at the bottom of that hill. Husbands, share with your wife what she can do to make leading feel safer than it does today!