Sadly, many of the resolutions you made just a week ago may already be teetering: I'll get in shape, I'll be a better wife, I'll learn to love my in-laws, I'll grow in my faith, I'll learn to be a great cook, we'll get out of debt. On and on the aspirations fly, only to vaporize days later when they prove to be too difficult to achieve.

The beginning of the year, that blank slate of 2010 is too clean not to want to do some things differently than last year. Having a teachable spirit and the desire for growth and development are critical components to a Christ-follower and to a healthy marriage. But great expectations aren't enough to bring about true change. Here are some thoughts to help you make those aspirations translate into true change:

• Set goals that apply to actions, not results. As noble as it might sound, becoming a more devoted Christian is not a good goal. Neither is the goal of losing 25 pounds. When you set goals that are measured by results, you will get discouraged when you can't measure those results (what does it mean to be a more devoted Christian?) or when the results are not there (I actually gained a pound today!). Better, choose goals that are measure by actions like "I will make an effort to say something positive to my husband every morning" or "I will walk for 30 minutes four days a week." If you commit to the right actions, the results will eventually follow.

• Set realistic goals. True change is almost imperceptible. Show me someone who has completely changed his spending habits or her time on facebook in three days, and I will show you someone who will relapse within a few weeks. As John Trent wrote in "The 2-Degree Difference" a small change is more likely to stick and shift momentum in your life than some monumental, unrealistic goal.

• Remember that some things are so important, they are worth doing poorly. Maybe you are not at the point in life where you can commit to an hour of prayer and study a day. So, commit to 10 minutes. Maybe you don't yet know how to be a great wife or husband. Work towards being a better one. If you are an all-or-nothing person like I am, it may be tough for you to strive toward something you know you can't do perfectly. Push past that rationalization. When you fall off the wagon, don't abandon the goal. Imperfect progress is far better than no progress at all.

By the time people reach their 40s and 50s, many have given up the idea of growth and change because they've failed so many times at their attempts to be a better ______ (you fill in the blank). Yet Proverbs teaches that the primary difference between a wise person and a fool is the ability to learn and grow. Lay the foundation for that teachable spirit in you heart and marriage now -- in 2010.