Remember those dating days when you couldn't wait to have sex with your spouse -- whenever you want, guilt free? Now that you're married, there's a good chance that sex doesn't seem like it is all it's cracked up to be.
Ironically, perhaps, sex is one of the most common causes of conflict in marriage. Perhaps as a young married couple you're baffled by all of the obstacles that seem to get in the way -- fatigue, his needs vs. her needs, lack of pleasure or desire, hurt feelings, difficulty communicating about sex, arguments about birth control, baggage resurfacing from your past, sexual temptations that you thought would disappear after marriage ... the list seems endless!
I want to encourage you to think about your sexual relationship in terms of legos. As the mom of three boys, I know a lot about legos. When you open up a box of legos, the contents look nothing like what is promised on the box. Instead, you find hundreds of seemingly random plastic pieces. But the joy and fun of legos is building them.
On your honeymoon, you opened up a box of legos. Don't be disappointed that the project seems incomplete. Imagine if the best sex of your life was on your honeymoon. How depressing would that be -- all down hill from here, honey! Fortunately, God has given you a precious gift that you will have to work on and build over time. In the process, He's building YOU.
More than any other aspect of marriage, sex can teach forgiveness, mercy, sacrificial love, and tenderness. Don't assume that the gift is "broken" because all of the pieces are not properly assembled. Build together!
For more information on the obstacles related to sex (particularly from the wife's perspective), check out my new book, "No More Headaches."
LDB
says:
That's a fun metaphor! Someone told me once that in your marriage, you're writing your own book. You get to choose (to some extent) what you put in the book and how the story unfolds. Similarly, I like how we get to decide (together) what we as a husband and wife build together in our sex life (what pieces to use, how to use them, what we want the finished product to look like). As obvious as it sounds, it really is all about teamwork! One thing I like about this legos metaphor is that if you're not connecting the way you want to in the bedroom, you can always break things down and and start over. BUT, you need to communicate with your legos partner. Imagine how haphazard a legos creation would be if two people built it together without communicating? And you can build (almost) limitlessly with legos- lots of room for creativity as you build together. Neat metaphor!