It's wise financial advice to "act your wage."

Pray for wisdom (If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5) and trust God. I will pray that you may boldly obey.

looking4answrs: I would suggest you and your husband open a (joint) savings account. My husband and I have two accounts: one savings account, with a high interest rate, with the understanding that the money in it doesn't get touched. The other account (while technically a savings account) is what we think of as our "spendings" account - it has a much lower interest rate and is the account that our visa cards are connected to. The catch with the savings account (always a catch with high interest accounts!) is that you actually can't withdraw money - you can only transfer it into another account. This means that some fortnights, when we are low in our spendings account (eg. the fortnight we had to pay for a car service and 4 new shock absorbers) we can transfer some out of the savings account into the spendings account.

RE the OP: ever since I was old enough to think about marriage (or even not quite old enough!) I've always thought budgets were important. I always listened with interest at the church AGMs when the budget was discussed (or argued!) But then I discovered, just a few months ago when my husband and I were discussing the topic with my parents, that my parents did not really use a budget at all.

To give some context: my parents have been married 26 years; they earn an average income, paid off their first home several years ago, have re-mortgaged it to buy an investment house, tithe (or give offerings, whichever you want to call it), have a car (the second is a work-owned car) and take the family on extended (5 - 7 week) holidays every 2 or 3 years (ever since we were old enough to appreciate them) (budget holidays - normally towing a caravan!). In between these larger expenses, they do not spend willy-nilly and are responsible spenders; they do not buy brandname items (unless on special); buy groceries on special whenever possible; don't have take-out often; etc etc. It's not as if their lack of budget has resulted in bad financial decisions or positions. But they said that in the first few months of their marriage, they watched their spending and came to the conclusion it was pretty good (ie. they were not over-spenders) and they haven't really given budgeting a second thought ever since - and that was back in the day that they were both working fulltime and paying first a house deposit and then paying off a mortgage. Of course, they check their credit card statement each month to check everything looks in order, but they don't have set amounts to spend on specific categories each month - and now they're on 1.2 incomes supporting 3 kids (it was 4 when I lived there!)

They also don't have set "allowances" to spend like I've heard recommended for married couples - they consult each other on big expenses (eg. when they had to buy a new oven or TV because the old 20-year-old one died). But if Dad thinks the computer could do with a new monitor, or a new motherboard, he won't discuss it with Mum before ordering a new one. Mum probably discusses her "bigger" expenses with Dad more, but I think that's more to hear his opinion (because us women like to talk!) than to ask "permission". They are both bargain hunters and trust the other person to find the best deal if they think they need to replace something. I don't know if that's how they've been the entire 26 years they've been married, but it seems to work, and I've never (or very rarely) heard them argue about finances.

I sort of want to follow their example, but at this stage don't fully trust myself or my husband to be as dedicated as they are! We don't have a set, strict budget, but after we'd been married a few months I sat down and looked at the receipts/bank statements to figure out an average of what I should expect to spend on each "category" each fortnight/month, and I mentally keep track that way. Most of our big expenses do not fluctuate; things like car registration, rent, etc are standard from month to month. I've been pretty good at keeping our grocery bill at a standard rate - of course some fortnights it's a bit higher and some fortnights it's a bit lower, but it averages out. We also use an online tool from one of the major Australian banks (not our bank but it works with any bank account) and it keeps track of what you spend. It automatically categorises anything it can (eg. it knows that statements from "Woolworths" "IGA" or "Coles" go into the "Groceries" category, and anything with "fuel" in it goes into the "Car/Fuel" category, and anything with our landlord's name in the subject goes into "Rent"). We look at it every few months to check we haven't overspent in a certain category. But we don't get so specific that we write down every little cent we spend into an excel spreadsheet etc etc. Then again perhaps you don't need to? I don't know. It's something we work through as we go, I suppose. When we buy a house and get a mortgage I bet we'll watch our finances more closely (although I honestly don't think there are many places we would cut back in much, except perhaps for eating out).

Apologies for the long comment. Just my random thoughts on the topic

Leah,

Good point. I actually do own a house. So I mean living debt free when it comes to credit cards.

Good for you and Kevin!  Money is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) causes of maritial stress, and Christians are not immune.  It's good to start thinking seriously about finances.

Your story of the lunch/nails highlights a problem many people have with budgeting.  They start out with good intentions but a lot of the "leaks" (e.g. daily lattes, eating out, impulse buys) sinks the ship.

The "cash envelope" strategy taught by Dave Ramsey (FPU) and others isn't all that bad as it forces you see how much your budget is being drained and when it gets exhausted.  It isn't necessary, but it does highlight whether a budget amount is realistic or not.

The most important bit of advice I could suggest is that you pay off the important stuff first, automatically.  The tithes, mortgage/rent, utilities, etc.  And if other items are a high priority (e.g. to missionaries, the new couch, etc) then those should be an automatic payment.  Then you can spend the disposable income left over on lunches and nails with a clear conscience.

Sara,

I don't know what city you live in, gross income of you and your husband, or what debts you've incured (SL payments, credit card debt, etc).  If you are serious about living debt free, then you probably need to make some serious sacrifices in terms of discretionary spending.  Coffee at home instead of the Starbucks, eating in and brown bagging (this is a killer for many budgets), public transportion if feasible.  In terms of a place to live, try and live in the lowest rent place possible you both are comfortable with in terms of safety and comfort.  Then take whatever extra income you have above the basics (and I don't consider satellite TV a "basic" but ultimately that's up for you to decide), and chip away at that debt.  Start at whatever is at the highest interest rate first (usually credit card debt, then car payment, etc).  SL debt you can usually leave for last as often the rate is fairly low.

Once the debt mountain is conquered, you can begin to put away for that new home.

Finally, as a general rule, and each circumstance is different, if you have opportunites to invest with your job and they offer matching 401k's or some other benefit, you should seriously consider taking it, as it is "free money" so to speak.  But again, one needs to put priority on high debt first.

Good luck!