I've been married now for a little over five weeks. The past five weeks — and particularly the past four, in which we have settled back into normal life — have been some of the most edifying and delightful of my entire life. I get that thrill of joy each day when I remember that I get to go home from work at night and see my favorite person in the world. But this morning it occurred to me: For two people who are so happy and in love, we sure do say "I'm sorry" a lot!

I suppose it's part of the adjustment process, but we have our share of little emotional eruptions. Kevin says or does something completely innocuous, but I receive it in the wrong way. So I react and we have a conflict. I'm starting to recognize that panicked expression on his face that says, Uh oh, I don't know what I just said, but this doesn't look good.

The great part is, when I receive something wrong, even if Kevin is innocent of any wrongdoing, he is quick to say, "I'm sorry."

The other night, knowing that I had overreacted, I responded with, "You have no reason to be sorry, I'm just being sensitive."

His response: "That doesn't matter. I'm sorry I said that in a way that frustrated you."

Similarly, when I realize I've been selfish, or I've said something that offends Kevin or discourages him, I try to apologize straight away.

A quickness to say "I'm sorry" allows love and trust to deepen. When I was young my mom would sometimes get angry with my siblings and me and lash out in hurtful ways. She always approached me later and said, "I'm sorry I got angry with you. That was sin. I've asked the Lord to forgive me, and now I want to ask you." Her willingness to admit sin allowed me to see how it can so easily interfere in good relationships. I have already followed my mom's model in my marriage. It is healing for me to confess to my husband how my sin has affected our relationship and tell him I am sorry. He's always very gracious and willing to forgive. By the same token, his willingness to apologize communicates how much he cares about me and our relationship.

Everyone has to apologize sometimes. And a willingness to do so often and generously keeps relationships strong.