While trying to decide what would make a good first post for this blog, my mind went back to my first year of marriage. Because it was quite contrary to the conventional wisdom that says your first year is always the hardest. Mine was fantastic! Seriously, I even have fond memories of our first fights.

But our near-perfect beginning didn't necessarily happen because we are the perfect match. It happened primarily because of three things: church, location, and children (in order of influence). Here's why:

Church

Beth and I were already established in a faithful church a year before we were married. So the foundation for a strong marriage was there on the front end. Which helped considerably. But it was pouring ourselves into church that first year is what I remember as being most formational as we got to know one another.

We went to the Sunday morning, evening and Wednesday service; joined a Bible study for young married couples; served in the nursery and taught children's Sunday school; we had friends over for dinner or ate at their house almost every weekend; and maintained close mentor relationsihps as individuals and as a couple throughout our first year.

Some say to take a break from church and be careful not to overcommit. I say dive right in. Being active and living transparently within a Christian community will help protect your marriage as you begin to understand what it means to marry a sinner; and as you begin to see your sin more clearly. Which you will.

Location

We lived in a basement apartment just a few blocks behind the Capitol building in Washington D.C. for the first year and four months we were married. It's a great place to be as a newly married couple; tons of things to do with everything seemingly within walking distance, work, church, groceries, etc.

But living in happenin' place like D.C. wasn't the main reason I put location on the list. No, what really made our location effectual in a good way was living far from in-laws. Which, you know, expedited the whole leaving and cleaving thing. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure in-laws were an issue at all for the first five years of our marriage because of the distance. Bliss.

Children

Beth and I were only five months in when we found out she was pregnant; wasn't planning for it, just open to it. But it's what God used to redirect our priorities in a way that would have lasting effects. Like getting us out of debt.

As soon as we saw that little plus sign on the pregnancy test, we came up with a financial plan so that we could live on one salary. And the first order of business was paying off our debt before the baby was born. Which we did. And now, 11 years later, we're still debt free living on one salary, praise God.

Everyone has their own story of their formidable first year. To be sure, we had our tough times as well. But the three things I mentioned above are what I believe not only made for a great first year, but set us on a path for many great years after.