I grew up at the Jersey Shore. So in defense of the folks back home, let me clarify that we aren't all like the knuckleheads on MTV's reality show

I'm not bitter about the misconception that New Jerseyans are all six degrees of separation from Tony Soprano. I realize that people who've never visited our fine state have no reason not to believe the stereotypes they see and hear in entertainment. Frankly, I've been guilty of media-fed misnomers myself, like when I spoke in Anchorage, Ala., a few years back and expected a moose to walk down the street, Northern Exposure-style. So I'm pretty understanding. But this Snooki business makes me crazy.

You see, Jersey Shore (which, ironically, kicks off this season in Miami, though last year it took place in New Jersey's Seaside Heights, known for its club scene) is considered a "reality" program. Therefore, a lot of young people tuning in to watch J-WOWW, The Situation and their hard-partying housemates will walk away even more confused about the birthplace of electricity, Buzz Aldrin and Meryl Streep. What will define New Jersey to this generation? Will it be silver queen corn and the stables of Colts Neck, or a viral video clip of Snooki getting punched in the face by some guy in a bar?

An article in The New Yorker said, "Jersey Shore makes us feel as though we were anthropologists secretly observing a new tribe through a break in the trees." Likewise, a review in Entertainment Weekly noted "Jersey Shore is like The Real World, but filled with super-skanky folks of Italian descent who want nothing more than to tan, drink and hook up."

After last season's series premiere, Daniel Cappello, executive director of the Jersey Shore Convention and Visitors Bureau, stated, "MTV is providing a one-dimensional, dramatized version of a very small group of visitors' summer experiences in one Jersey Shore town. … We welcome visitors to come here to enjoy a cultural diversity that in no way reflects what is seen on MTV."

Me too. I spent my first 25 years "down the shore" before life moved me west. I still visit family there whenever I can, and I always look forward to smelling the sea air and enjoying a real slice of pizza. For anyone tempted to take Mr. Cappello up on his offer, forget about Seaside Heights. Just up the road lies Point Pleasant Beach with its sandy coastline, fun boardwalk, kiddie rides, aquarium and a killer Italian ice joint down by the inlet. That's where families go. Including mine.

"I will be very surprised if she doesn't go to jail," criminal defense attorney Steve Cron told Fox News in response to Lohan's latest probation violation. "It seems Lindsay doesn't care much about anything and has no perception of the real world."

Apparently, Lohan's alcohol-monitoring SCRAM device was triggered at a party following Sunday's MTV Movie Awards. It's just the latest misstep connected to a 2007 DUI, which in turn led to rehab, a second DUI, charges of driving with a suspended license and cocaine possession.

I sincerely hope Lohan gets help before she kills herself or someone else. And if a little jail time is the wake-up call she needs, let the tough love begin. But even though it's getting harder to sympathize with the defiantly self-destructive 23-year-old party girl, my heart continues to break for the spunky, freckle-faced Disney moppet who charmed us in the dual role of Hallie Parker and Annie James.

That said, Lindsay's rebelliousness has made it hard to enjoy The Parent Trap the way I used to. It's getting increasingly difficult for me to separate the little girl onscreen from the tabloid headlines that have redefined Lohan over the past six years. I'll walk into the room and find my kids watching that sweet movie, and I have to fight the urge to shout fatherly advice to the innocent 10-year-old on my TV: Clubbing is overrated! Develop a strong work ethic! Respect yourself enough not to pose for racy photo shoots! Stay away from Paris Hilton!

Oh, the career that might've been.

As it stands, Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel could give Lohan up to six months behind bars for her latest gaffe.

Do you think that's a reasonable sentence? Too lenient? Too harsh?  And please tell me, am I the only one who finds it hard to enjoy a performer's wholesome work once they've misbehaved their way onto the tabloid A-list?

Elijah Wood (Frodo): "You don't realize how important your friends are until you need them. … During tough times when you lose perspective or have mental or emotional fatigue, those are the people who pick you up and tell you, 'It's cool. We're in this together.' Embrace those friends that you have."

Sean Astin (Sam): "Contentment—that you can't do everything all at once, right away. Be patient and take things as they come. Learn to live each moment. It's the age-old thing that any 25- to 35-year-old person tries to tell a 15- to 20-year-old, but that they're destined not to learn until they're 25. As a 31-year-old man, I've finally gotten to that place."

John Rhys-Davies (Gimli): "Unity, courage and a willingness to sacrifice yourself. We need the spirituality of the Elf; the earthy, indestructible qualities of the Dwarf; and above all the good, simple hearts of the Hobbits. And we must aspire to be the king that has yet to come into his place. We all have a choice; we are either slaves or we are princes. We make slaves of ourselves so readily and so easily."

Dominic Monaghan (Merry): "If you keep what's pure—love of friends, your family, or defending something good and honest that you believe in—as opposed to greed, power, hunger and domination, then it seems to ring true that you'll have the best kind of fate."

Liv Tyler (Arwen): "I learned to be patient and trust Peter [Jackson] to use the best material and do what was right. It's hard to trust somebody that much. That can be relevant in school with a teacher; you sort of think you have all the answers. I felt on this movie there were a couple times I made mistakes and I wish I had listened more to Peter."

Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn): "The lesson, I guess, is that the union with others is more significant than your individual existence. It doesn't deny the importance of your individuality. It just means you're a better person the more you connect with others. You're going to know more. You're going to be stronger and you're going to have a better life if you get over yourself. That's part of growing up."

Ian McKellen (Gandalf): "My parents brought me up to think that one had a 'prime of life' and that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. … Then the Beatles came along and told us that the best time of your life was when you were young, and I thought I'd rather missed out. But here I am at 64 and this is my prime of life. That would be my message: Don't worry. Don't try and hit it too early because your time might be later on."

Orlando Bloom (Legolas): "I think friendship and the fellowship of strangers, mixed races putting aside their differences to come together and make a difference. … There's something about having the wisdom, courage and compassion to live life with integrity. All of the characters within Lord of the Rings act with integrity. So I think the message to the kids is courage, humility and integrity."

Now I invite you to join the fellowship. Comment on their thoughts, or share a lesson learned during your own journey.

If you tune in for this year’s Academy Awards telecast, listen for the phrase in ceremonies held earlier.  Simple words rich with meaning.  For starters, this is a warning.  It says, “The following awards categories were deemed too much of a ratings-kill for inclusion on prime time TV.”  Best Left-Handed Director of a Foreign-Language Stop-Motion Documentary Short?  Great time to grab a snack or put the dog out.

Furthermore, “in ceremonies held earlier” is the motion picture industry’s way of reminding us that three hours isn’t nearly enough time for Hollywood to adequately congratulate itself.  Indeed, the Oscars are the black-tie equivalent of a progressive dinner.  Sunday night is dessert.  Which got me thinking, With all of those categories, why not a few more?  And which ones would I like to see?  This is what I came up with:

3-D Movie Actually Worth the Surcharge: In an attempt to lure people away from their HDTVs and into the theater, 3-D seems to be the wave of the future. But more often than not, today’s 3-D movies deliver just enough added dimension to give my 8-year-old motion sickness.  The Avatars of the world are few and far between.  In fact, films shot in traditional 2-D (Clash of the Titans and the next two Harry Potter films) are now trying to cash in on the Avatar craze by adding 3-D as an afterthought.   So how ‘bout we reward filmmakers who make full use of the technology instead of peddling the 21st century equivalent of colorized black-and-white movies?

Best Picture That People Paid to See: Personally, I think increasing the number of Best Picture nominees from five to ten was a mistake. It just adds clutter in the name of bringing in a populist film or two that wouldn’t have made it otherwise (District 9, The Blind Side).  Why not create a category to honor those quality movies everyone flocked to see?  There’s something to be said for a well-crafted blockbuster that grossed, say, $200 million.  If ABC wants to keep Oscar viewers around ‘til midnight, this is the award that would do it, all the while letting Tinseltown nominate five populist films (Star Trek anyone?) instead of two.

Best Picture With a Sociopolitical Agenda: Most years, one of the coveted Best Picture nominations gets wasted on a so-so “message flick” lauded for championing a social agenda or political issue close to Hollywood’s heart.  An inconvenient truth?  Perhaps, but it’s also a fact.  My solution: Just give ‘em their own category.  Let true entertainment dominate the major categories and leave those feature-length sociopolitical PSAs to duke it out amongst themselves.

Best Performance by a Voice Actor: Have you ever been so impressed by a vocal performance in an animated film that you thought it deserved special recognition?  I sure have.  But because it’s not a traditional “role” the Academy doesn’t acknowledge it.  With animation maturing as an art form, this would be a great time to give those actors their due.  No need to separate awards by gender or create a “supporting” subdivision.  Lump examples of the year’s best voice work together and may the best man/woman/comic animal sidekick win.

Yessir, if I ran the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, those are a few categories I’d propose.  How about you?  What do you think would spice up the Oscar telecast or, for that matter, one of those “ceremonies held earlier”?

Be sure to tune in to this week’s Official Plugged In Podcast for a fun roundtable discussion of this year’s Best Picture nominees, plus Oscar trivia and more.  Also, join us right here on Oscar night to participate in our live blog!

A weary roll of the eyes and shake of the head. That’s my typical reaction to supermarket tabloids and shallow fan mags trumpeting the latest celebrity wedding.

It’s not because these cleverly nicknamed bride-and-groom tandems (can we stop with the Tomkats, Bennifers and Brangelinas already?) celebrate their nuptials with gaudy excess and guest lists that read like a Golden Globes ballot. Hey, they’re entitled to choose their friends. And if they want to spend the gross national product of Guam on a party, so be it. What breaks my heart is knowing that, based on the track record of celebrity marriages, most of these high-profile partnerships are destined to fail because they’re built on foundations of Jell-O.  

So it might surprise you to know that I thoroughly enjoyed reading People magazine’s recent cover story about 22-year-old pop star Kevin Jonas’ marriage to his “best friend,” Danielle Deleasa: His Brooks Brothers tux. Her Vera Wang gown. How he sent his real-life Cinderella a pair of glass slippers (in her size) just before the ceremony. The tears. The toasts. The first dance. I loved it all.

Why did I suddenly become such a softie who couldn’t wait to share the colorful photo spread with my 12-year-old daughter? Because it’s obvious that the blushing couple and their proud families understand the eternal significance of marriage. This wasn’t an impulsive stunt or shrewd career move. Kevin and Danielle were raised in Christian homes, healthy environments that, according to her mom, were remarkably similar. And the ceremony was performed by Kevin’s dad, an ordained minister who also happened to be Danielle’s childhood pastor.

Does any of that guarantee a successful marriage? No, but it sure improves the odds, especially by showbiz standards.

On his wedding day, Kevin said he realized that the vow he was about to take would forever change his life and relationships, including the longtime bond with his musical brothers, Joe and Nick. You remember the Jonas Brothers; they’re the band that comedian Russell Brand mocked during a 2008 MTV awards show for their abstinence pledge. Brand’s comments made headlines, as did the immediate response by singer Jordin Sparks, who defended the boys onstage. Fittingly, Sparks was also on hand Dec. 19 to hear Kevin and Danielle recite the pledge that would make all of that waiting worthwhile.

Bob Hoose, associate editor: Bing Crosby’s Merry Christmas (re-released as White Christmas) came out in 1945 and is considered by many—myself included—to be the quintessential Christmas album. It’s incredible. It features Bing doing his Decca Music classics such as "White Christmas" and "I’ll Be Home for Christmas." He harmonizes with the Andrew Sisters, croons through beautiful hymns, then boo-boo-boos his way through novelty songs such as "Mele Kalikimaka." It’s no wonder that Merry Christmas is the best-selling Christmas album of all time.

Steven Isaac, online editor: Sara Groves has a great Christmas album called O Holy Night, and we listen to it every year over and over and over again. One of our favorite songs on that album is called "Toy Packaging." It’s a fabulous little song all about the package the toy comes in. It reminds us of what’s really important at Christmastime.

Bob Smithouser, senior editor: First and foremost on my family’s list is the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. It really ushers us into the season. Hearing that young choir sing "Christmas Time Is Here" almost feels like an official proclamation that advent has indeed begun (even if stores have had decorations up since Halloween). Masterful piano work. Relaxingly upbeat. It’s just the perfect Christmas album. Our family tradition for trimming the tree includes a pot of hot cocoa and that CD.

Adam Holz, senior associate editor: In our family we really like Christmas Eve and Other Stories by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It’s an ’80s metal band that sort of morphed into this Christmas and holiday band. That particular album, the band’s first, is a collection of 17 songs. It’s a mixture of traditional Christian hymns and more contemporary stuff. Some of the tracks are instrumental. It’s heavy, but our family really likes it.

Kevin Simpson, graphic designer/game reviewer: I love Elvis’ Christmas Album, released in 1957. I can do without the few songs about Santa and sleigh bells, but the rest of it is pure Elvis. It just doesn’t get any better than his rendition of "Blue Christmas." And "I’ll Be Home for Christmas" always chokes me up a bit—makes me think of Dad reading to us from the second chapter of Luke. "O Little Town of Bethlehem" as sung by the King of Rock & Roll is simply epic. The thing I like most about this album is that four old-school gospel songs made the cut. Now that’s a CHRISTmas record!

Bob Waliszewski, Plugged In director: Skip Ewing’s country disc Following Yonder Star is right up there at the top of our list of Christmas favorites. I especially love the song "It Wasn’t His Child," which talks of a young man accepting the baby of the woman he loves, even though it isn’t his. And we come to find out that man is Joseph. There are other original songs, plus classic carols such as "O Come All Ye Faithful," "The Little Drummer Boy" and "Silent Night."

Jesse Florea, contributing editor: Rivertribe Christmas is one of the most unique Christmas CDs on the market. A group of Christians from Australia, Rivertribe released this instrumental Christmas album in 2003. With its interesting instrumentation and unusual arrangements, it makes for relaxing background music as didgeridoo and other unconventional instruments put you in the Christmas spirit.  You’ve never heard "The First Noel," "We Three Kings," "Silent Night" and other Christmas classics played like this.

Meredith Whitmore, associate editor: My favorite Christmas album is absolutely A Charlie Brown Christmas. I’ve lived all over the world, and Christmas looks a lot different in various states or countries without my family. The only constant factors I’ve had are "Linus and Lucy" (fun to play by ear on the piano) and "Christmas Time Is Here." One of my friends thinks that last song sounds like the kids are whining through sinus infections. But as right as she is about some things, she’s wrong here.

Paul Asay, associate editor: I’ve gotta be honest, I’m not a big fan of Christmas music. I don’t know what it is. It just feels a little hokey to me. But when my wife pops out the Christmas CDs, my favorite is always Boogie Woogie Christmas by the Brian Setzer Orchestra. If you like horns, this is for you. It has everything from "Jingle Bells" to "O Holy Night" and even a swing version of "The Nutcracker Suite." Setzer has had other holiday albums, but that’s the one I most enjoy.

Well, there you have it. Those are the Christmas CDs members of our team can listen to over and over, year after year. Do you have a perennial favorite? Tell us about it. We’d love to know which albums make your season bright.

The 15-year-old Canadian is an interesting success story. At the age of 12 he posted videos of himself singing on YouTube, mainly so he could share them with family and friends. But they became a viral phenomenon, and Usher signed him to a contract that has already paid huge dividends. Bieber recently released his first CD, My World, and while it contains a handful of fairly benign pop/R&B love songs, a tune called "First Dance" left me shaking my head in disbelief.

As the song opens, a boy daydreams about taking a special girl to the prom and asking for the first dance. OK so far. But a closer listen suggests that the slow dance he’s interested in involves more than just dancing. The chorus says, "Give the first dance to me/I promise I’ll be gentle/I know we gotta do it slowly … I’m gon’ cherish every moment ’cause it only happens once in a lifetime."

Hmmm.

I still might be tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt, except that, if we take the song at face value, what are we supposed to do with lines such as "Ain’t no chaperones/This could be the night of your dreams" and "No teachers around to see us dancing close/I’m telling you, our parents will never know."? Don’t Mom and Dad know you’re at the prom … and that proms involve dancing? If Bieber is only talking about what happens on the gym floor under the glitter ball, what’s he trying to hide from the girl’s parents?

It sounds to me like he’s asking for her virginity which, considering what prom night has become for many teens, would fit the profile.

What do you think? Am I overreacting, or is this another example of entertainment introducing kids to sexual themes that they’re not old enough to understand?

Perhaps inspired by the exploits of Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron and others over the past year, Disney now requires all its up-and-coming young stars to attend Talent 101, which is designed to prepare them for the pressures (and temptations?) of celebrity life. The faculty includes security experts, psychologists and media consultants who’ll help young performers handle everything from pushy journalists to rabid fans.

The actual curriculum hasn’t been made public, but I suspect lessons might include “Things Better Left Unsaid,” “Recognizing an Immodest Photo Shoot” and “Dances to Avoid at Awards Shows.” (Miley got a crash course in those subjects from the school of hard knocks.) Let’s face it, being in show business is a challenge. Preserving a wholesome, Disney image in a world resembling Pleasure Island is even harder. These kids need all the help they can get.

Some people might argue that this isn’t about the kids at all. Rather, it’s simply the Disney Machine’s self-serving attempt to avoid public relations headaches and protect its sizable investment in pop icons likely to have their faces plastered on half the products at your local Walmart. That’s the cynical take, but it could be accurate.

I’m in no position to judge anyone’s motives. All I can say is that, as a father of two preteens, I kinda like the idea of coaching young celebs to stay safe, grounded and out of the tabloids. I mean, is it so awful to remind them that they have a responsibility to the people giving them the platform to live out their dreams? To Disney? To corporate partners? To parents? To young fans?

I also hope that Talent 101 includes a unit on “How to Cope If I Don’t Become the Next Selena Gomez.” That would speak volumes about Disney’s genuine, long-term concern for its stable of young talent.