Is there something in the water, or what?

Now, I guess I ought to quickly backtrack to add that I'm not being sexist here. Yes, I know boys are doing stupid things, too. I mean, hey, I was a stupid teen boy once myself. But, in a way, I kind of expect guys to be foolish, like jump on each other from a rooftop or set themselves on fire for a YouTube lark. Why do you think Marge isn't the Simpson who yells out "D'oh!" every episode?

But we're talking about girls, here. They're the kinder, gentler, smarter sex, right? They're the ones whose brains are supposed to be firing on all cylinders while the boys are still trying to find the ignition switch. For some reason, however, that doesn't seem to be the rule anymore.

Just a couple of days ago, I heard of a woman who was jogging in a Greeley, Colo., park who came upon a group of teen girls watching a girl fight. The 47-year-old jogger told the youths to cool it. And they turned on her, screaming "f‑‑‑ you b‑‑ch," and punched her to the ground.

And then there are the online tussles. A couple weeks ago, Plugged In's Paul Asay wrote an interesting article about a 11-year-old who got ticked off at some online "haters" and started spouting about "popping a Glock" in their mouths to give them a "brain slushy." Now, again, this was an 11-year-old. Then, of course, her rants inspired other rants and eventually the girl's father started screaming at his daughter's webcam and …. oh, boy.

Then just yesterday I saw a Forbes article about a young woman who decided to dissert her Justin Bieber fandom by ceremonially ripping her Bieber posters off the wall—on camera. Which, as you might imagine, caused all kinds of fervor. Nothing worse for many a tween girl nowadays than Bieber desecration.

The Forbes article focused on one particular 12-year-old who calmly proceeded to threaten the Bieber-hater with an online, f-bomb laced tirade. "If I ever meet you in person," the young girl sneered, "I'm going to hit you in the f‑‑‑ing face with a full wine bottle. Cork and all!" (Now, why she thought the cork would add some extra heft to the threat, I'm not sure. But she sounded serious enough.)

I watched the full video and the thing that got me was that throughout this Bieber-defender's video, along with all the vile bile, she kept plugging her regular YouTube and Twitter offerings—essentially marketing herself. So she was not only loosing all her foul-mouthed 12-year-old madness, she was also inviting other girls to follow her future gripes. (Tomorrow, an f-bomb harangue about Silly Bandz!)

It all seems so incredibly foolish and unbelievably self-promoting at the same time. What's going on? Is our new world somehow creating this breed of spotlight-seeking rabid lass, or is the current age just allowing all the pent up eons-worth of feminine "argghs!" to finally rise to the surface?

It must be one of those, right? What else could you look to? Parents? C'mon.

I just read about a guy on a quest that seems almost as daunting as the rich man's challenge to thread a needle with his camel. Chris Juby, a worship director at King's Church in the northern English city of Durham, has determined that he will summarize the Bible in a series of daily tweets—one for each chapter. You read that right: One 140-character string for each of the 1,189 chapters in the Good Book.

The first chapter was boiled down to a simple, "Gen1: God created the heavens, the earth and everything that lives. He made humankind in his image, and gave them charge over the earth." Hey, this guy even did the job with four whole characters to spare. Talk about a gift for succinctness.

(Of course, my wife would say that all men are genetically programmed to keep their statements to the shortest number of words possible—just to torture the females in their lives. But that's another story.)

"It's a really tough process deciding what the key themes of each chapter are and what can be left out," Juby told aolnews.com. "There's so much richness in each chapter of the Bible."

I was thinking that even the less rich chapters could be a real headache. But Juby seems up to the challenge. He whittled down the Genesis begetting chapter (chapter 5) to this: "Adam's line was: Seth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech and Noah. Noah's sons were Shem, Ham and Japheth."

Count it up and you'll see that Juby had enough space to say "Adam's family line" if he had wanted to. But he obviously figured, "Hey, they've got it, why blather on?"

Personally, I think this is an interesting exercise. And if folks are curious enough to see what the unabridged version reads like after catching a snappy tweet of a chapter or two, well, all the better. Besides, if the finished Twitter Bible finds its way to the right person's inbox … it could do wonders for the sermon times.

It all started when overburdened police officers in New Delhi started a Facebook page to let the public friend-up and give them suggestions on how the endlessly snarled traffic situation in the city might be improved. The public came through in a surprising way. Within two months, over 17,000 people had signed up and were offering their opinions loud and clear.

"You wanna fix things?" they seemed to be saying, "Start busting the bad guys!" And with that they posted almost 3,000 photos of their fellow drivers breaking the law in one way or another.

Using the pictures, the police have currently cranked out about 700 tickets for things like drivers making illegal turns or motorcyclists without a helmet. It's all pretty minor stuff, but suddenly the Indian public is looking over its collective shoulder. Could somebody be taking their picture while they're gorging on mutton curry and steering with their knees?

And who knows? This might be so successful that it could be picked up by a police station near you. But is that a good or bad thing? I mean, it feels a little 1984ish. I just wonder if George Orwell himself would have imagined that the watching eyes of Big Brother might actually be your brother, using his trusty iPhone to grab a pic of you drafting that 18-wheeler while dry-shaving in your rearview mirror.

In case you haven't heard, Google has created a new Android app for all you frustrated city folk who endlessly round the block looking for someplace to jam your ride. It's called "Open Spot." With it you can open a little map of your area decorated with bubble markers that indicate an open parking spot somewhere near you.

And there's a color change dynamic that helps you determine what your chances are of still having the opening. When the tiny chunk of real estate first pops up, it's colored deep red—but  it fades slowly to yellow the longer it remains unclaimed.

Now, in case you're wondering if this is some kind of new Google Earth wiz-bang where satellites circle your neighborhood scoping out parking for the good of mankind, the answer would be no. (But that would be cool.) This info is actually being supplied through the goodness of you and your fellow drivers. Google has developed a "Karma" system that gives Karma Points to individuals who send up the good parking news when they back out of their current slot.

Of course, that's where things can potentially get a little hinky.

I've been wrestling for years to lay claim to empty spots in the parking lots of life. Am I being too cynical when I say that good Samaritanism hasn't always appeared to be a strong motivator for my fellow motorists? In fact, I can imagine a number of jokesters using the tech to earn their version of Prank Points. And if some guy races off to claim a marked yellowing spot only to find it in the shallow end of Lake Hoptacong, he ain't gonna be all that happy.

Besides, in a crowded city, how long do spots usually stay open anyway? Two or three seconds, max? And if I shouldn't be texting in my car (its illegal in a whole flotilla of states), should I be staring intently at my Open Spot map while simultaneously balancing my coffee cup, chewing my morning bagel and careening the corner for positioning?

Sorry. Sorry. I'm getting grumpy again aren't I?

Viva la tech!

Think about it. People are pointing to new addictions just about every day. The Internet, now, there's a real life-stealer. Reality TV shows, wow, just can't get enough of those dancing stars of yesteryear. Movies. Music. iPads. Videogames. Seems that everybody is up-ending their lives to mainline something or other.

And the obsession du jour? Twilight. Yep, the teen book series turned movie blockbuster saga is now being credited with breaking up marriages and generally ruining the lives of obsessive devotees who can't seem to get enough of Bella and her two paranormal beaus.

Just as a quick example of the junkie-tastic behavior, a recent Los Angeles Times article told the tale of an obsessed fan mom. She joined over a thousand Twilight diehards who slept outside the Nokia Theater in downtown L.A. for days in hopes of catching a glimpse of one of the movies' stars at a premier for the pic, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Now, if you're thinking, "Well, that's not so bad," let me finish. The 39-year-old woman was interviewed by a reporter and she said: "This is the first time I've been this passionate about anything. I've read each of the books at least eight or nine times and I've watched each of the movies over 300 times apiece."

The article goes on to discuss others—mainly women ranging in age from tweens to, well, let's just say old enough to know better—who are consumed by this teen fantasy phenomenon. They've got non-stop (read and rereading) book clubs, online advice portals and websites where the impassioned can gather and feed each others' habit. "It's like a drug," the L.A. Times article quoted one fan as saying. "I have to read it or I break down crying. It's awful … I fear it's unhealthy."

Um, yeah, she may be right.

This crude presentation didn't do any favors for the films it cheered (The Twilight Saga: New Moon) or the soon-to-be-released flicks it advertised (Grown Ups). Shackled with all the sleaze, lame jokes and low-ball shenanigans on hand, nothing looked appealing.

The network's execs have been making statements of late about changing to fit the times, keeping tabs on today's youth culture and becoming more socially aware. But if that's the case, the Movie Awards hardly felt like an event that's in tune with today's youth. Instead, it seemed like a gig run by fiftysomethings who never grew out of a frat house mindset when it comes to what they consider chuckle-worthy.

What am I talking about, you ask?

Well, if you missed the show (and I hope you did), here a just a few of the gags you can be glad you didn't witness: a "Kiss Cam" segment that prodded celebs to smooch and focused on Jonah Hill and Russell Brand in an open-mouthed make-out session; Steve Carell joking about "s‑‑‑ting" himself; Katy Perry auditioning for the role of Miss Cleavage 2010; an award recipient accepting his trophy on behalf of himself … and his genitals; an awkwardly staged girl-on-girl lip-lock between Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansson; Tom Cruise trying once again to revive his image, this time by dirty dancing in a fat suit; and a camera zooming in for a close-up of Christina Aguilera's crotch, which was emblazoned with a flashing neon heart.

Get the sense of things?

The one serious moment in the broadcast, when young actor Tom Felton expressed genuine gratitude for his "Best Villain" award (for his role in the last Harry Potter pic), was rudely upstaged by Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell hanging overhead and cussing a blue streak.

And they weren't the only foul-mouthed guests. Everybody was dropping the f-bomb. In fact, the crudities got so profuse and frequent that they became the biggest "giggle" of the night. But not everyone was laughing.

"The more craven bits, far from selling the films, often just drew attention to how creatively bankrupt they really are. Is someone actually more likely to see Grown Ups after watching [Adam] Sandler, [David] Spade et al. trot out their lukewarm shtick?" asked the L.A. Times entertainment blogger Steven Zeitchik. "It's probably not an accident that the biggest conversation piece from last night wasn't about a film but about the frequent swearing."

In fact, the last acceptance speech of the night, by New Moon cast member Peter Facinelli, was filled with so many f-words that the censors only caught about half of them.

The broadcast's dearth of anything that might be called creative or inspiring was underlined by Kristen Stewart's acceptance of her "Best Female Performance" statute for New Moon. She looked bored to tears in every camera shot we'd seen of her during the evening and appeared almost embarrassed to be walking up onstage. "I guess I agree with you," the actress mumbled after receiving her award. "Twilight is awesome. Woo."

Her underwhelmed reaction spoke volumes.

I know, you're probably saying, "Wait, I thought they weren't supposed to be selling that stuff to kids anyway." But that's a common misconception. The fact is that retailers can sell whatever they want to anybody who toddles through the door with some greenbacks clutched in their little fists.

Following the tiered rating system set up by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) is totally voluntary for game sellers and parents alike. And kids of all ages are definitely diving into the gun-blazing, death-delivering waters. Anecdotal tales abound of youthful gamers playing M-raters from Halo to Grand Theft Auto. In fact, there were many a youth group reportedly sponsoring "Church Halo Nights" just a couple years back.

But all that bothersome reality aside—or maybe in light of it—the conclusion of the tiny article was what got me. Author Claire Suddath shrugs off any possible links between simulated violence and aggressive behavior and says: "With an estimated 80% of retailers voluntarily refusing to sell mature games to minors, it stands to reason that the more violent the scenario, the less likely it is that a child is the one mashing the buttons."

What E-rated make-believe land does she live in?

And it all seems to somehow be connected to this Justin Bieber kid.

You may have heard about the 5,000 fans that went all Cujo on each other before a Bieber concert in Sydney, Australia—crushing one another and sending eight of their number to the hospital. That's pretty nutty, but ancient news. But there's more. Just this past weekend, it seems the emo-haired teen  ran into the 29-year-old reality TV temptress Kim Kardashian. After a hug and a couple pictures together, the two immediately ran off to opposing corners to tweet all about it.

"I officially have Bieber Fever!!!" Kardashian proclaimed.

Bieber then posted a photo of himself and Kim, writing, "Look its my girlfriend"

Uh oh. That's when the Twittering death threats began. That's what I said, death threats.

"I'm getting death threats," Kim tweeted to Justin on Tuesday night. "This is unBeliebable!!!"

Now I'm not sure whether the gasping Kardashian was trying for some kind of Bieber pun with that "unBeliebable!!!" or whether the stress jarred her grammar into some strange, Loony Toons-style netherworld, but obviously the fan uprising was quite a shock.

"ladies calm down. @kimkardashian is a friend," the Biebs tweeted on Wednesday. "A very sexy friend but a friend. no need 4 threats. Let's all be friends and hang out often"

Now, my first reaction to Bieber's statement is, "Oh yeah, that's smart, kid. Calm the raging pubescent stalkers with mentions of how 'sexy' their arch nemesis is." And right on the heels of that, my second thought is, "A very sexy friend?" Ewww. This kid is what, 12 or something? I've got socks older than him. Where is his mother? Why isn't she grounding him at this very moment? And do all those girls' mothers have a clue what their precious little Lizzie Bordens are up to?

And my final overblown thought is, "Arrgh!!!" (You saw that right, my Twitterers, three exclamation points.)