See, I told you. Janet Jackson's jaw-dropping miscue in 2004 left a greater impression on America than Adam Vinatieri's game-winning field goal. And not a good one. As a result, the scandal known as "nipplegate" would cause networks to take a more cautious approach to the big game's star-studded intermission.

Wary of public outrage and hefty fines, the NFL and its broadcast partners decided they didn't want to risk a repeat of the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake debacle. So the next year, they booked a Beatle. Aging rocker Paul McCartney performed "Drive My Car," "Hey Jude," "Live and Let Die" and "Get Back" with no additional drama. Or flashes of nudity. It was the first step toward restoring families' faith in the most-watched football game on earth.

The following year, we got The Rolling Stones. Sure, Mick and the boys may have stirred things up in the '60s, but well into their sixties, the Stones weren't expected to generate much controversy. And they behaved. Even Prince's appearance in 2007 featured a responsible set list. Ensuing Super Bowls were entrusted to Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen, and The Who. We kept waiting for the public address announcer to tell us, "Tonight's halftime entertainment has been brought to you by AARP."

Last year, however, the NFL had its own senior moment, apparently forgetting the events of 2004 long enough to invite Fergie and The Black Eyed Peas to do the honors. No more graying rock stars. It was time to win back the under-40 crowd. Decision-makers may have been emboldened by the fact that, after seven years, the declawed Federal Communications Commission still hadn't been able to collect that hefty fine from CBS, making any potential ratings rewards worth the risk. Which leads us to XLVI.

As you've probably heard by now, Madonna will take the stage when the Giants and Patriots head into the locker room midway through the championship game Sunday night in Indianapolis. Let that sink in for a second. Madonna. Has NFL commissioner Roger Goodell been on a private island since 1983 and missed her shocking career? The music videos? The coffee table book? Trysts with high-profile athletes? Did he turn in early that night in 1994 when a cigar-puffing Madonna kept censors busy during her infamous stint on the Late Show with David Letterman? Then there was that steamy "impromptu" kiss with Britney Spears on MTV's Video Music Awards in 2003. Indeed, controversy is Madonna's middle name. Yet Goodell and friends will be handing her a microphone—and a live, worldwide audience—this weekend at Lucas Oil Stadium.

Can anyone say "eight-second delay"?

During Madonna's press conference yesterday in Indy, she assured reporters, "Great attention to detail has been paid to my wardrobe. There will be no wardrobe malfunctions … promise." She also said that her four-song halftime set will include some surprises, but nothing too risqué. That's nice to hear, but I'll believe it when I don't see it.

Expected to join the Material Girl on stage to perform "Give Me All Your Luvin'" will be rapper M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj—the randy R&B artist who tweeted excitedly that she shares a kiss with Madonna in the video for that song, which releases today. Frankly, I'm not sure who's most likely to do something shocking. Madonna is in the twilight of her career, while Minaj is still in full-on "do what it takes to keep people talking" mode. In fact, her most recent music video, "Stupid Ho," was just banned by BET.

So as you gather with family, friends or your church youth group for the big game, keep the remote control handy. Better yet, plan your own halftime activity. That way nothing will overshadow what promises to be an amazing football game.

Oh, and for the record, Tom Brady was the MVP of Super Bowl XXXVIII when the Patriots beat the Panthers 32-29. That was a great game, too. It's a shame no one outside of New England can remember it.