Currently Being Moderated
62

Did Hollywood Weaken "The Vow"?

Posted by Jim_Daly on Feb 15, 2012 12:39:49 PM

The Vow, starring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, was the number one film at the box office this past weekend, pulling in a remarkable $41 million. The romantic drama was billed as the ultimate "chick flick" with a lot of suspense rolled in for good measure. TheVowBook.jpg

 

The story revolves around a young couple who fall in love, marry and shortly thereafter, encounter the ultimate test in their relationship. The young wife is gravely injured in a car accident. Not only does she lose her memory and not remember ever being married, but she reverts back to being 18 years old. Then she was in love with another guy, who happens to be available again.

 

The plot makes for an interesting story with plenty of twists and turns, made even more remarkable by the fact that the movie is based on a true story.

 

Sort of.

 

[Spoiler Alert]

 

In the movie, the characters, Paige and Leo, wind up getting a divorce after the accident, although by the end of the film, it's suggested they've eventually gotten back together again and, presumably, have remarried.

 

That's a good thing, of course, and it makes for a predictable Hollywood script. But if you ask me, the true story is even more incredible, inspiring - and beautiful.carpenters1.jpg

 

It was a Christian couple from New Mexico, Kim and Krickitt Carpenter, whose real life story inspired the film. A car accident robbed Krickitt of 18 months of memories just ten weeks into their marriage, including any memory of Kim.

 

At the time, the young husband, though devastated, was resolute in his commitment to help his bride. 

 

"This isn't my wife," he said. "My wife is in this body, trapped and trying to get out."

 

He was also candid. "I honestly didn't think our marriage would work," he said, but he wouldn't give up trying to help her fall in love with him all over again.

 

"I made a vow before God," he explains,” 'until death do you part.'"

Unlike in the movie, the Carpenters didn't divorce. And unlike in the film, there were no other love interests to contend with. Instead, they gutted out a grueling process - and kept their sacred vows.meaningmarriage1.jpg

 

If you ask me, that's more beautiful - and more dramatic - than the Hollywood version of this film. To read the full account of their amazing story, click here to purchase their book from our online store.

 

Since Monday on our radio broadcast, we've been talking with Dr. Tim and Kathy Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City about their new book, The Meaning of Marriage. At the very core of the book’s message is this matter of ironclad commitment within matrimony. Marriage is about making and keeping the vow - no matter what tragedy or discomfort may befall you.

 

I hope you'll click here to listen to all three programs - all at no charge.

 

In the meantime, I'd appreciate hearing from you. Did you see the movie? How do you think you'd respond if your spouse forgot who you were?

 

It happens more than you might imagine, not usually in this manner, but frequently in the twilight of life as disease grabs hold of the mind. My friend, Jim Singleton, also a local pastor, is friends with the country singer Mark Brinkman. Mark penned a haunting but beautiful song a few years ago about the ravages of Alzheimer's. This is how he describes a sad scene that plays out all too many times in the world today.

 

I'll leave you with the lyrics:

 

She softly walked into his room, sat down and said "hello"

He said, "You look familiar, are you someone I should know?

 

I’ve got this funny feeling we’ve met somewhere before. brinkman.jpg

There was a fleeting memory as you came in through the door."

 

She smiled and said, "My darling, you’re looking mighty fine.

In fact we’ve known each other since 1949."

 

They had a lifetime of memories but there’s nothing left to show.

When the mind and a body choose a different time to go.

 

She’s a stranger in his mind. The memories are gone,

but his heart’s still keeping time.

 

The cruelest fate for the loved ones left behind.

 

How can life be so unkind? She’s a stranger in his mind.

 

She tells him stories of the man he used to be.

All about their children and his loving family.

Every day they spend together is both a blessing and a curse
But she’s faithful to her wedding vows, for better or for worse.

 

Kneeling by his bedside the tears pour down like rain
She prays that tomorrow he’ll remember her name.

 

 

ALSO THIS WEEK:  Tale of Two Monks, A Few Words About Jeremy LinThe Truth Behind XXX and Prayer at Grammy's Reflects National Consensus

 

 

Follow me on Twitter @Dalyfocus

Follow me on Facebook

Keep up with Focus on the Family on Facebook

46,871 Views Twitter Facebook


Add a comment Leave a comment on this blog post.
Feb 15, 2012 5:32 PM Guest Carmen  says:
I saw The Vow over the weekend and while it was good, it wasn't as good as I had hoped. As I walked out of the theater that night, I remember wondering how much of the story was really true to the couple so I'm glad to know more about this. I definitely think Hollywood weakened it by having the couple divorce and then get back together later. I don't know if the affair between the dad and the friend that was in the movie was true or not, but I am impressed that they had the wife stay with the husband in the movie. I can't see that happening with very many Hollywood couples these days.
Feb 15, 2012 5:36 PM Guest Susan B.  says:
Thank you for the beautiful and true message of honoring your vows.  My mom and us adult children have been giving my 91 year old dad 24 hour care in their home for a year and a half now after Dad's serious stroke.  We've had our major ups and downs, but the blessings have so much outweighed the struggles.  We have done more laughing as a family during that time then we have in quite a while.  Plus we see each other more often.  My mom has been such a wonderful example to us during this time.  And when I look back over their 51 years of marriage, this doesn't surprise me!    Overall, they both have handled life with a lot of grace.  We have had 4 young deaths in our immediate family, and God just shows us His strength, comfort and power!!  I'm thankful for the faith that was passed on by both of my parents.
Feb 15, 2012 5:48 PM Guest Michael H.  says:

My wife and I went to see The Vow, last weekend, here in Australia. I was looking forward to a lovely story, that ended 'happy ever after'. As the name suggested, it was all about The Vow to remain faithful in marriage. I liked the movie, my wife did less so. However, we were both disappointed in the divorce and the 'myriad of possibilities' in the ending. On reading the true story of the Carpenters, the Holywood version is a poor substitute for the the REAL thing. But, hey, isn't that usually the case... the counterfeit story never stacks up to the real one... God's creativity is squillions bigger than man's.

Feb 15, 2012 5:44 PM Guest Laura  says:
My husband and I saw this movie yesterday, on Valentine's Day.  It made for an interesting conversation afterwards!  Especially since we both have awkward family relationships with our parents - we were thinking about how such a tragedy would play out between us and with our families involved.  When a Hollywood movie is based on a real story, you know they would have added elements that they would think make a good movie, even if those parts weren't in the true story.  And yes, the real story was probably more fantastic.  But I think this movie was still wonderfully done.  It still showed how much Leo wanted to save his marriage and love Paige.  Perhaps the complete true story would have been too much for the average audience - "now we see in a mirror dimly..."
Feb 15, 2012 5:51 PM Guest Dan  says:
My wife and I did not go see the movie because of the racy previews that seemed to override the focus and content.  We weren't too keen on viewing something together that included porn (soft or not), so it was disappointing since we had thought the true story line would have been a fun date night watch.
Feb 15, 2012 5:54 PM Guest Eileen  says:
I saw the movie this weekend with my daughter and her BFF, ages 15 & 16, and they were gaga over it!  Total chick flick, main actor is a hunk and the actress very beautiful with an innocence about her!  They didn't have to show the butt, but the girls already knew about it going into the movie, so I'm sure that lead to talking, and apparently that's good for marketing.  I'm so very disappointed when I found out that the original couple is Christian, and that they couldn't turn this movie into a Christian movie!  Did money talk?  There are more great Christian movies being made (the most recent, Courageous) and it would have glorified God, instead they compromised, as so many Christians do, thinking it will reach a wider audience!  Sad!
Feb 15, 2012 5:58 PM Guest scott v.  says:
Why are you watching the movie ? With what excuse can you speak about filling your mind with the things of the WORLD ? Hollywood, is not a friend of Christians . Come out from the world, purify your mind.
Feb 15, 2012 6:05 PM Guest Marilyn B.  says:
As usual, Hollywood cheapens every story line by catering to the baser instincts in all of us. How can we get the message across that we don't appreciate it? The true story is SO much better! Why is it that Hollywood tries so hard to prove that a vow means nothing??
Feb 15, 2012 6:13 PM pianoman123 pianoman123    says:
My wife and I weathered a similar experience 10 months after we married.  She was also in a horrific car accident that claimed the life of her father, and injured several other family members.  At first she didn't know me either, and no one could give assurances that it would ever be any different.  She called me her "buddy" (because I seemed to be always around!  We struggled through so much therapy, coaching, memory sessions, and physical therapy, but through the months of recovery, God heard my prayers and those of thousands who prayed for her.  We still live with scars, and some personality changes in her, but God has restored her completely.  Honor goes to Kim Carpenter for sticking with it as I did, and bringing God much glory.
Feb 15, 2012 6:22 PM Guest Anna Lee E.  says:
I did not see the movie but I like the true story you told.
Feb 15, 2012 6:23 PM Guest Dawn  says:
I had no intention of watching this movie until I saw the couple whose life it is based on interviewed on the Today show.  I was so excited about the evidence of his faith that I thought this would probably be a really good movie and not just a chick flick after all.  I saw it on Valentines Day with my husband.  I too left the theater quite disappointed, wondering how much of the movie was actually true.  I was very disappointed in the movie when they divorced.  My husband and I discussed it over dinner, wondering if maybe they came to faith after the incident.  I doubted this since his faith was the reason he gave for keeping "the vow'.  The title is a bit ironic since in the movie the vow wasn't kept.  It ended in divorce.  It's too bad that absolutely none of this couple's faith was carried over into the movie.  It would have made the movie that much better - a missed opportunity to give God the glory.
Feb 15, 2012 6:29 PM Guest Steve C.  says:

Saw "The Vow" last night with my wife. She thought it was a great movie with a happy ending. I was profoundly moved and grieved for the husband throughout the movie. So sad. And he had only been married for about 4 years. I couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like for me if my wife sitting beside me forgot me all at once - no slow forgetting like with Alzheimer's. Thirty years of memories and growing together down the drain. With a weak marriage, one might imagine a event like this would be a plus - a chance to start over. But a strong marriage would be devastated - just like a divorce with no chance of reconciliation. Starting over with a new person that is a "lot like" the like-minded companion who's gone through a thousand blessings and crises over most of a lifetime together. Thank God the couple in real life were Christians who expect life to have trials and tribulations. Bless them for sticking it out.

I was disappointed that there was very little to no spiritual content to the movie. But it was still very moving...

Feb 15, 2012 6:33 PM Guest Steve C.  says in response to Dan:
Reconsider. The "porn" you describe was a scene between husband and wife and very appropriate. They didn't show anything untoward except the husband's naked backside for a brief moment. I expect something like this probably happened in the real life story as well. Previews always seem to promote scenes that would titillate those looking for some low material. Too bad in this case.
Feb 15, 2012 6:54 PM Guest Liz  says:
I saw The Vow this past weekend.  What stood out to me the very most was the mother's response when her daughter confronted her mother about her husband's (the girl's father) affair w/ one of the daughter's friends.  She was upset and wondered how her mother could stay when he had dones something so horrible.  The mother replied that she was going to leave...but made the CHOICE to stay not because she had to, but for all the things that he had done RIGHT.  WOW.  Somebody who is not going to cut and run.  I am still thinking of that statement.  Committed people don't leave.  That line made it a great movie.
Feb 15, 2012 7:18 PM Guest Janet M.  says:
My husband and I saw The Vow last weekend. The ratio was about 300 women to about 3 men...hahaha...my husband is brave! The movie was fine--but would have been much better if faith had been a part of the story, as it was in the real life story. God can always write a better ending than Hollywood can.
Feb 15, 2012 7:19 PM Guest Nathan P. E.  says:

My wife and I both found this story to be an inspiration.  We hope and pray that young newlyweds, dating couples, and long-term married husbands and wives can all learn something from this story.  Love and marriage are a life-long commitment; hardships are no excuse to break this commitment.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGjUAHS8pHY

Feb 15, 2012 7:39 PM Guest Susan T.  says:
I saw the movie with much anticipation. I, too, was disappointed with the decision to end the movie with divorce -seemed to go against what a vow is all about. But in Hollywood's twisted way, Leo demonstrated a sacrificial love that many Christian marriages don't demonstrate. This was an unusual circumstance and he didn't want to "hold" her against her will when she clearly was not interested in staying. Although I wished they had showed him fighting more for the marriage, it also showed a sacrificial love that he was willing to let her go despite what he wanted. (Of course, if the Spirit were directing their marriage, that choice would not have had to be made. :-) Of course that's not God's plan for marriage where people just want to move on, but in this case, the movie created a situation where she needed to rediscover who she was without all the manipulation and motives of others. I thought sacrificial love was communicated very well by Leo's unwillingness to use what he knew about her family to drive her away from them - and in fact, by doing that, he unintentionally encouraged to make amends with her family that she might not have been open to making otherwise - and while everyone else was trying to use the situation as an opportunity to control her, he used it as an opportunity to show her how much he loved her.
Feb 15, 2012 7:58 PM Guest virginia a.  says:
I did not see the movie but it sounds like one I would like.  I believe I have lived this movie more than once is a small sort of way.  You see, I have had to have daily/hourly help from my husband of 50 years quite a few times.  It has made me realize how much he cares for me just as a friend as well as a wife.  If couples do not keep their friendship alive just because, I don't think they can stand the test of time!  I have had to depend on him more than I really want to because I like to be independent too and not always be the needy person but I have had to stop and be thankful that I have received the kind of love that matters.  First of all, we are not rich by any means but we have all we need, friends that care and family .  When a mate gets hurt and can not do simple task, they need to know that their husband or wife is one they can count on through thick and thin. It is good to share your life with others and have good times together with groups of friends but it is a sad day when just being with your spouse isn't something you want to do.  We can be together and not even talk and that's okay.  I also wrote a letter recently thanking my husband for his care and for helping me not to give up when I was discouraged!  He can read it over and over to remind him that I do appreciate all he has done.  I have much to be thankful for that God gave me such a husband many years ago when I was very young and did not really know who I needed for a mate.  We were teenagers when we met and knew each other for 3 years before we married at 18 and 19.  We were too young but we worked hard and laughed alot.  We would have friends over for meals and games and trade babysitting with our friends.  We have had many good times as well as times of sorrow but God has been with us and helped us not to fall away from keeping Him at the heart of our home.
Feb 15, 2012 7:59 PM Guest Mandy B.  says:
I am so glad to hear the real story. Thank you so much for posting it. I watched the Vow over the weekend, anticipating a fabulous, romantic movie. Afterwards, when people asked, I said, "It was good, but it needed so much more." In the movie, he seemed to give up too quickly and settle for a divorce. Also, their wedding was lame. I kept thinking it was going to turn up that he couldn't even prove they were married since it was just a friend saying some bogus, "I pronounce you best friends for life" kind of thing. It was disappointing. Now that I know the real story, I feel even stronger that the movie could have been great instead of just good. At least it was relatively clean compared to most Hollywood movies today.
Feb 15, 2012 7:58 PM Guest Wendy  says:
I took a girlfriend to see the movie on Monday and had just watched an interview with the "real" couple on the Today Show.  I was so impressed with how they talked about their faith and the fact that both sets of their parents had modeled faithful, enduring marriages.  I was excited to see how the lives of this believing couple would be portrayed.  Like many of the others who have commented, I was very disappointed in how Hollywood changed a precious story.  Especially when the divorce papers were signed, I thought, "How is this staying committed to a vow?"  I guess the one good thing I walked out of the theater with was a strong desire to read the Carpenters' book on the true story!
Feb 15, 2012 8:00 PM Guest Viola J.  says in response to Liz:
Ha...so maybe the real "vow" in the Hollywood version ended up being the mother's "vow" to her unfaithful husband.
Feb 15, 2012 7:59 PM Guest Jo  says:
I went to see The Vow because the idea of staying committed to the covenant you made in marriage appealed to me. I didn't expect their road together to be an easy one. However, based on the previews, I expected to see them fall in love with each other all over again. I wanted to witness that romance, which lasted for all of a first date, after which the husband simply appeared to surrender his efforts to win back her heart. While he respected her decision to leave and wanted her to be happy, I don't think he should have given up there (or allowed the divorce).

I thought there were good ideas reflected in the movie (certainly not the rich story of the Carpenters), but still a worthwhile romance. And the mother's decision to "choose to forgive" her husband's affair was not easy, nor was it something that society today necessarily understands. But it showed honor to keeping vows in marriage.
Feb 15, 2012 8:11 PM Guest Sue M.  says:

I just saw "The Vow" this evening.  I know the story of the Carpenters, and was both amazed and disappointed in the movie.  While I enjoyed the movie, I think it was only loosely based on the real story.  It left a lot to be desired.

Feb 15, 2012 8:30 PM Guest Ken  says:
I saw the interview with the Carpenters on the Today Show and decided to take my wife to see The Vow on Valenetines Day.  While it was an interesting movie, I was disappointed in that Christian faith was not portrayed at all.  I agree, the strongest message was from Paige's mother when she said she stayed with her husband because she chose to remember the right things he had done.
Feb 15, 2012 9:25 PM Guest Mark K.  says:
I just read Plugged In Online from Focus On The Family.  In the sexual content section, it mentioned it shows his naked back side.  That is enough for our family not to see this movie.  We have heard an analogy from our pastor.  Would you eat a brownie with just a tiny bit of matching colored dog poop mixed in?  It is just a tiny bit.  Most of the brownie is fine.  We wouldn't dream of eating it!  Yet we compromise and watch things that are not pure, just because most of the movie is labeled good.  Whatever is good, whatever is pure  ... let your mind dwell on these things.   I am really surprised at some of the comments I've read,  The leaders at Focus really need to read Plugged In Online. 
Feb 15, 2012 9:52 PM Guest Tracy  says:

We decided not to go to this movie because of Focus on the Family's "Plugged In" online review where we read that there was swearing and that "God's name is abused at least 10 times" in the movie.   Is anyone really surprised that Hollywood would add an affair, and leave God out of a Christian marriage?

Feb 15, 2012 10:15 PM Guest Krissy  says:
My husband and I saw the vow over the weekend.  We were disappointed and I was left wanting.  They never developed the actual redemption of their relationship, and left you waiting for more.  It also was weak on the overall storyline and ironically would have been stronger had they kept with the true story.  We thought the best part was the choice for forgiveness that was required by Paige's mom. 
Feb 15, 2012 10:35 PM Guest joan  says:
I have never left a comment before, but I am speaking from having experience as a Christian mom bringing up a child with special needs who is truly a blessing! Whenever it comes to a movie, I always check out what Focus on the Family has to say about it, and sometimes what seems okay for someone to watch is not for someone else. I highly recommend their input. I would rather err on the side of caution. Just from the few comments I read, I had read enough. I didn't and won't see the movie. I am glad that there was a different ending in real life. We all should be careful as to what we allow ourselves to watch, whether it's television, a movie or even a video game. Our son once said to me that it wasn't what movie we watched on TV that was important-it was watching it together. We can teach our children, and remind ourselves of what is important by talking about things with each other. Sometimes, the best way to teach is by showing others what we don't watch. Children will imitate what we do, whether it's good or bad. God gave us a high calling to be parents~we need to cherish every moment we have with them while it is still called today. I hope this helps.
Feb 16, 2012 6:07 AM Guest Donna  says:

As Christians we made our vows before God. Then 3 yrs. into our marriage 43 yrs. ago Ben began having symptoms, subsequently diagnosed as MS with developing cognitive deficits. He was unable to do any kind of work. I became a single mother to 5 children, also helping Ben, my parents and his Mom. His unsettledness, poor judgment & reasoning led him to

move and then petitioned for a divorce that after 17 months he decided to drop. He returned home, we attended lengthy therapy, he relocated to a retirement home, didn't understand why he wasn't home and petitioned for divorce again. The lawyers completely ignored the affects of his disease. I continued to watch over him as his severe mental impairments led him in the wrong ways. By 1994 our older son (24) was able to take on some of the responsibility. Ben joined our family when he could acting like nothing had happened.  He was confined to an electric cart. In 2006 a car hit him resulting in a lower leg amputation. Disaster slowly began with questions at his assisted living place, with his conservator and a guardian was forced upon him in 2010. She questionably moved him from his place where he was thriving and in 9 weeks he died (2/11)  Among many writings I've penned of this long journey, the last on marriage ended, "with death we now part,"  Our friendship went back to our grandparents/parents yet we never really had an opportunity for a true marriage.  This has had a severe impact on all our family and this certainly could likely be a very revealing movie and perhaps, one day, a story I will write.

Feb 15, 2012 10:48 PM Guest Joy  says in response to virginia a.:
Yours is a good story too.
Feb 15, 2012 11:27 PM Guest Tim  says:

We did'nt see the movie, dont know if we will now? I have a similar story, my wife & I have been married almost 27 yrs now, but after our 3rd and last child over 14yrs ago she became very fearful that i was cheating on her, I never have nor ever will. But she became suspicious of EVERYTHING I did, even scratching my nose anywhere in sight of another person, (she thinks I'm signaling someone), this continues even today. She is apparently suffering from some kind of mental issue. But I love her, more now than I did 27 yrs ago. God put her in my life, of this I have no doubt, He used her faith and love for me to draw me to faith in Him. I made a vow before Him, "for better or for worse", "till death do us part", I have remained true to that vow with His grace and mercy. I ask that anyone reading this to please pray for her healing, and for my strength. God bless, and to Him be the glory!

Feb 16, 2012 5:55 AM Guest Gloria  says:

Yes, I saw "The Vow".  As usual, when hollywood tries to avoid Christianity, it backs right into it.  It was obvious to the audience whom the bride should love, the handsome bridegroom who perfectly displayed I Corinthians' definition of love vs the self-serving sinister ex-boyfriend who carelessly tosses aside his new fiance to win this bride for himself.  Is there any doubt that if she had chosen the ex, he would have devilishly dumped her out of pure spite? Didn't you cheer inside when the bridegroom dealt a blow to satan, I mean the ex? Meanwhile, the bride divorces herself from the bridegroom in her rebellious need to figure things out for herself.  [Every angel looks on in disbelief at humanity, as we reject THE Bridegroom.]  There is only one right choice, why would you run away from it.  Yet the bridegroom will not force himself upon the bride.  No, the theology in the movie is not a perfect representation of the Gospel, but it had a Francine Rivers'ish feeling to it.  At the end, weren't we all hoping she was headed toward reconciliation with the bridegroom?  When it comes out on DVD, it would make a good 'clear-played' movie night to discuss how much God loves us, how patient He is, and how utterly undeserving we are.

And yes, I applaude the wife who chooses to forgive her husband's infidelity.  GREAT moment in the movie!

Feb 16, 2012 6:11 AM Guest Vic  says:
I will definetly not be watching this film. It should be boycotted by all Christians for it's breaking of Commandment #3. Not to use Gods name in vane.
Feb 16, 2012 6:17 AM Guest Susan  says:
I enjoyed watching this movie with my husband.  My favorite part was the mother's response to her husband's infidelity... that she made the choice to stay for all he had done right and that she "chose to forgive".  My own mother modeled this for me when my dad was unfaithful to her... it was the most amazing gift of forgiveness I've ever witnessed... and taught me so much about genuine love & forgiveness.  I was "confused" when the couple in the movie divorced... after all, it WAS called "The Vow" and yet, they divorced??  I'm glad to know that the true story did not include divorce.  I loved the way Leo loved Paige in the movie... (any woman would!)... that playful, unconditional love of a best friend & perfect mate.
Feb 16, 2012 7:10 AM Guest Diane  says:
I saw the movie with my daughter over the weekend and was not impressed.  And I didn't know this true story which in my opinion is incredibly inspiring...much more so than the movie.  The love the couple shared in the movie seemed shallow and unbelievable and the break between Paige and her parents just didn't make sense to me or to anyone in the group we were with.  We speculated afterward and decided "they must have let a lot out"...and even concluded that for the couple to be so isoloated from her family, who lived just miles away, they must have been in a cult!  No, the message of making a vow before GOD and sticking it out "for better or for worse" did not come across...I mean they got divorced.  That's not exactly keeping "the vow."  VERY glad to know the true story!
Feb 16, 2012 7:17 AM Guest Sandy  says:

I had decided to not see the movie at the theater, because I don't think it's worth me spending so much money in a movie that I already knew they had change the story.  I purchased the book (for the book has the real story) and I can't wait to read it. I will be

reading it with a book club that we have at church.  I too was saddened by the fact that the Carpenter's did not demand (after all is their story) for the whole thruth to be told.  I read  that with the the movie "Soul Surfer" it was a similar story, Holywood wanted no mention of Jesus or their faith protrayed but the real family refused to compromise,Until finally Holywood gave in.  After I read the book I would see the movie and I would wait for it to come out on DVD.

Feb 16, 2012 7:21 AM Guest Sindi  says:

I don't remember them getting divorsed. Did he sign the papers? I thought he threw the pen down and walked out without signing.

Feb 16, 2012 7:43 AM Guest Tim  says:

The only thing in the movie that resembled the original story was the premise--wife has accident, forget's all.  Looks like there was some memory lapse on the way to Hollywood as well.  Don't expect Hollywood films to try to retell a real story very often--especially if it affirms the gospel or traditional Christian ethics.  I did see this film, but could tell they had reworked the story greatly.

Did you pay attention to the vows in their "wedding."  Hardly the stuff of "better or for worse..." that are truly binding.  Rather, fluff like, "I promise to live within your love..."

The divorce was a disaapointment too, but the purpose of the movie was really about self-actualization.  Paige had self-actualized the first time by asserting herself by going from law student to artistic Bohemian and she was going to make the same journey a second time by returning to law school, doodling in her notes and moving back down to Chicago.  The trajectory was set for a happy ending and we all saw it on the horizon as they walk to a new restaurant together.

Feb 16, 2012 8:35 AM Guest Jan O  says:
Like the man upon whom the story was based, I vowed a vow before God.  He has blessed my husband and I with almost 35 years together.  We've been through some tough times in those years, including the death of my Mom a year ago.  She had Alzheimers and didn't always recognize me either.  But just because a loved one no longer can remember the past, they still need love and compassion in the present.  That applies to my marriage as well.  If one day my husband's mind cannot recall important details of the past, I can!  And he would need my love and reasurrance even more if he had no memories to rely upon.  God is faithful and I'm going to be faithful, too.  I meant the vow I made.
Feb 16, 2012 8:40 AM Guest kat  says:
How come no one has mention the use of God's name in vain? According to Plugged In Online they state the movie uses God's name in vain 10 times. I am NOT going to sit through any movie and listen to that.
Feb 16, 2012 8:51 AM Guest Susan  says:
Although the movie didn't follow the true story exactly, and was not a "Christian" movie, I think that any movie that promotes commitment in marriage, and honor above selfishness, is a huge positive in the mostly-negative culture of the mainstream movie industry.  Not only was there the commitment of the main character, but the statement by the mother-in-law that she chose to forgive her husband was very powerful too. 
Feb 16, 2012 8:56 AM Guest JeremiahA  says:
Truth is much better than fiction. Thank you for sharing the true story of a couple struggling to stay together. That brought a tear to my eye. The plot of "A Vow" did not.
Feb 16, 2012 9:00 AM Guest Linda  says:
Saw the movie.  Poignant story line.  Awful language.  Hollywood at it again.  I think I will read the book. 
Feb 16, 2012 9:03 AM Guest Martha  says:
I saw an interview with the Carpenters on the 700 Club this week (www.CBN.com) and was excited to see the movie.  Now that I've seen your comments, I don;t know that I want to see it.  The amazing, exciting, wonderful part of the story is that they didn't separate. Our culture is so quick to just give up on relationships that it's refreshing to see that some people don't. It's a shame that you can't trust Hollywood with your story. Thanks for the insites.
Feb 16, 2012 9:53 AM Guest Debbie  says:

My husband of 41 years treated me to a Valentine date nite and took me to see The

Vow at my request since I had just finished reading the book and been soooo blessed

by their amazing testimony to the power of God in their lives and the faithfulness of

Jesus.

I was so excited to see the theater packed with preteen and teenage girls thinking that

they were about to be impacted with a morally uplifting and positive influence of God

in peoples lives.

I was sooooo distraught after the movie...!!!   God and Jesus were never mentioned!!

Yet "they" are repeatedly spoken about in the book as the sole reason their marriage

survived....!!!  The positive influence of both of their families in supporting them in prayer

and time and Years of sacrifice is Totally distorted.

To be Honest I was at a loss to understand how this Christ Loving couple could have

allowed this distortion of their lives be put on the screen....

They were either not truthful in the book or they need to issue a Disclaimer now to

refute the loose morals, disrepect and distortion that is being betrayed in this movie.

What an amazing opportunity was LOST to impact youth in the true love of  God for

us and His willingness to intervene in our lives if we are willing to surrender to Him.

Each of the couple were serious, praying, journal writing Christians who had a living

relationship with Jesus and they claim That is the only reason they survived the experience

and came out of it Together.....not divorced ...

I wonder if it would be possible to have a redo of the movie -- produced instead by the

Kendricks (makers of Fireproof and Courageous)  that would Truly Give God the Glory!!

Feb 16, 2012 11:43 AM Guest Rob  says in response to Eileen:
I am sure the couple did not compromise as you have suggested. Once you have sold the rights Hollywood or anyone who has them can prettty much do what they want. They had no say in the movie. Just like Authors who sell rights to their books, that is why the movies are usually different.
Feb 16, 2012 1:47 PM Guest mary  says:
My husband forgot what it means to be married in many ways, but is physically faithful in that he doesn't seek sex anywhere...  but there is no communication, common goals, consideration of my needs or requests, no affection, no sharing other than a bank account.  That's not a honored vow either.  I limp along, the best I can, to honor my "side of the commitment."  He's preparing me well for widowhood, except financially, since he is "generous" to others, while calling me selfish and greedy.  He even canceled his life insurance as soon as our youngest moved out... 
Feb 16, 2012 2:00 PM Guest Sarah  says in response to Eileen:

I wouldn't say that the Carpenter's are good friends of ours, but we do know them.  I can tell you that it was never about money for them.  They sold their rights over 10 years ago if I'm correct.  And once you sell your rights, you don't have a lot of say in what happens.  I do know that at one point, Kim THREW A FIT!  The movie was originally rated R and he fought and fought to change this.  I respect "Hollywood" in that aspect because they didn't have to change it, but they did!

And I do believe that God is receiving glory because of the movie (not necessarily from watching the movie).  Kim and Krickett released their book years ago and it has now been re-released because of the movie.  It is now #7 on the best sellers list!  Their story is being told, even if Hollywood didn't do it justice (but I've come to expect that!)  I support Kim and Krickett and I love what they stand for.  I haven't seen the movie and I don't know for sure if I will.  But, I just ordered my re-released copy of the book!

Feb 16, 2012 2:08 PM Guest Tammy  says:

I too saw the movie.  It had been really hyped up and was a bit of a let down.  After hearing the true version, I believe it would have made a better movie.  Unfortunately, Hollywood thinks we all need the "drama" of the other love interest and the unsupportive parents.  This movie would have been so much better had she went home with her husband and fell in love all over again, rather than discovered all the dirty secrets and then went home after divorcing.

Feb 16, 2012 2:27 PM Guest Monica  says:

I saw the real life couple on a morning show and their testimony made me want to see the movie.  They were obviously Christians and were excited about sharing their story, but as I sat through this movie, it wasn't about the committment to God or each other.  It was portrayed as a marriage based on feelings and had nothing to do with the VOW.  There was nothing about the VOW in the movie.  I was very dissappointed.  The true story is amazing and worthy of a makeover.  How about a Christian producer telling the story.  I think it would surpass the ratings this movie got.  My husband gave it a  5 out of 10, I gave it a 2.  By the end of the evening he dropped it to a 3.

Feb 16, 2012 2:28 PM Guest Mary Beth  says in response to Tim:
Tim~I prayed for her and you....You are an amazing man and she is a lucky woman to have a man be so loyal to her. God bless you both!!
Feb 16, 2012 3:50 PM Guest Rayedeene W  says in response to Liz:
I agree, that the mother's comment about why she stayed with her husband was so profound.  Right there shows the real commitment of a wedding vow.  I was disappointed in the picture--especially by the divorce.  Why would the makers of the film weaken the premise of the film by adding something completely out of place with keeping the marriage vow? (Especially since the couple whose story the movie is based on did not divorce.)
Feb 16, 2012 2:57 PM Guest Jeri  says:
I saw The Vow today and was disappointed.  I had heard an interview with the Carpenters and knew of their Christian faith and their decision to honor their vows.  I didn't see any of that in the film.  Everything was based on feelings.  Very sad.  That is the whole point of vows.  When the feelings subside at times, and they do, that's when commitment to the promises made before God become so powerful.  I honestly wouldn't recommend it to anyone.  The mother of the female main character was the most honorable after forgiving her husband for an affair and her desire to preserve her family.
Feb 16, 2012 5:47 PM Guest Mary  says:
I purposely didn't go to see the movie, because it got a weak review.  But now I think I'll go.  Thank you for this info,  I love true stories especially when people keep committments and trust in God.
Feb 16, 2012 7:58 PM Guest Laura  says in response to Mary:
Respectfully to Mary who said she would go see the movie, though she originally didn't go, have you read any of the posts?  The true story is not what is in the movie.  If you want the true story, the book is great.
Feb 16, 2012 8:49 PM Guest Tonya  says in response to Linda:
I like this reply. Short & to the point. Read the true story & enjoy!!
Feb 17, 2012 10:25 AM Guest debbie  says:
I have not seen the movie. I'm not sure but it seems to me that if a movie is based on someone's true story, that person or persons have to give permission and would have some say in what goes into the movie or gets left out.  I am just wondering if the real couple had any say, and if so, why didn't they insist on the real story being portrayed in the movie? If they had no say, I guess there was nothing they could do except maybe not give permission to use their story, but then Hollywood would find ways around it and do it anyway saying that it's just a script that had nothing to do with anyone in perticular.  It's too bad this movie wasn't made by christians instead of Hollywood.  Thank God for movies like Courageous and Fire Proof!!!
Feb 17, 2012 4:38 PM Guest Carol R.  says:
I saw the movie.& I was sorely disappointed @ the "Hollywoodization" of this true story.  I have friends who knew the couple in Az. & the way they were depicted in the movie was nothing like they are. Why did they have to make the couple "hippieish" (reasonable, cool & good) & the parents uptight conservatives (selfish & arrogant) .... typical stereotyepes. I was disappointed that they didn't show anything about their faith. The only "true" thing about the story was that she lost her memory.
Feb 17, 2012 6:44 PM Guest Deirdre  says in response to mary:
Mary, unfortunately, we are living parallel lives.  I live in fear that as soon as the kids are independent I will find myself in the final stage of "alone".  While my  husband "left" me in the figurative sense of the word many years ago, I am becoming more and more assured that even his physical presence will be removed once the kids are gone.  I do not want this to happen but worry that that's his inclination.  I am praying that the Lord will change his heart and rekindle our relationship before it is too late...I do want to honor our vow!
Feb 21, 2012 8:35 PM Guest Katherine  says:
This is the first i have heard of this movie. This hits home for me as I had a head injury approx. 4 years ago today. I didn't remember the love for not only my husband but my children too. It was a very difficult time for all  of the family. I would sit outside my house for hours because I did not really have a sense of where I belonged. However the testimony is how real and alive the word of God is. Although during this time memory was lost, including the ability to read anything including the word of God. Gods word was not written in my memory but literally on the tablet of my heart. Very lost in many areas, one thing I kept was my belief God was real and true. Further scriptures at random would come to me. My belief is the time I spent prior to injury, serving, reading ...etc in the word. Anyhow long story through the trials and believe me the hardship of this, my husband and I are now married 18 years, he too was determine to keep his vows and walk through this journey.
Feb 22, 2012 11:08 AM Guest Rhonda  says:
I would like to know if the real life couple had premarital relations???  In some statements that I read, it implied that the two were growing in their relationship with God before marriage, and that they were a part of a singles group where the singles were strong Christians who had made a commitment not to have sex before marriage.  In the film, it implies that the couple had several encounters before marriage. 
In a day and time when pressure to have premarital sex is so strong and "accepted", I would like to see this part of their relationship brought out more.
Could someone answer this question for me.
Mar 3, 2012 9:40 AM Guest Becca  says in response to scott v.:

scott v.:

     While we should not totally fill our minds with things of the world, God told us to be in the world but not of it (John 17:15-16). As Christians, we should not withdraw from our culture, but we should not assimilate with it, we must engage and let others know where we stand. In order to do this we need to know our culture to be able to respond to it in a Christ-like manner. I am not saying we should we should go watch worldly movies to be apart of pop culture. But it is necessary to know what is going on in culture and how to respond to it. My point is don't comepletely withdraw.

     And about Hollywood not being a friend of Christians. Well again, I believe we should not assimilate, but also we should not withdraw. We should instead become distressed about the people in Hollywood and try to "engage" (with the help of Christ) to make a difference in the lives of others. Hollywood is a part of pop culture. We cannot just run away and shun Hollywood because of it being worldly. Christians should respond. And to respond (and for others to listen to us), we must understand and be in but not of pop culture. Again, we should "engage" with love and compassion.

    (aside) Finally, I think we should all, as Christians, unite in Christ to show the love of our Lord to the world. We need to do hard things, even if it means persecution, because our life on earth is short. Take a stand and make a difference.

Becca  

Actions