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A Deathbed Blessing

Posted by Jim_Daly on Jan 18, 2012 8:30:12 AM

Many of us have sat by the side of a dying loved one, trying to bring comfort, trying to help prepare them for their final journey home. But it’s especially powerful and telling, isn't it, when the person who is suffering is the one who brings the greatest measure of comfort and perspective?JoanBatura1.JPG

 

Joan Batura, the mother of Paul Batura, a colleague here at Focus, received her promotion to glory on January 12th. By her own acknowledgment, she had lived a long and wonderful life. She loved Jesus, enjoyed a 57-year marriage, was blessed with five children and 12 grandchildren, had countless friends and continued to serve her Lord and church to the very end.

 

Paul was her youngest,and over the years they forged a very special bond. They loved many of the same things and spent hours talking and visiting, especially via phone since Paul’s family lives in Colorado and his parents are in Texas.

 

So at the end, there was Paul with his mother at hospice. The sad goodbye was upon them, and her son of 39 years was a puddle of tears.

 

“I was so afraid to leave,” he told me. “I knew it was the last time I would see her alive this side of heaven.”

 

Sensing this burden, Joan, frail and weak, on oxygen and barely able to move, pulled him towards her. "You are a gem, my last son. I am so thankful that I got to share you with Julie!” (Paul’s wife). And then she pulled him in even closer, and her eyes opened wide and sparkled for the first time all day.  She smiled and whispered in his ear, "You are a light of my life. We will talk and see each other again, where there is no pain or suffering, where there is no sadness, only joy."holdinghands.JPG

 

Paul said he left with a lift, knowing that she was right, believing that the Lord was in full control.

 

"We were witnessing a saint at sunset," Paul wrote.

 

What a powerful and poignant deathbed blessing to bestow upon a son, one that brings comfort and bespeaks of the absolute confidence that one who loves and commits him or herself to Jesus can enjoy.

 

That we all might be so bold and considerate as to bless others as we lay dying!

 

I'm curious. Have you experienced a similarly powerful end-of-life moment with a loved one? Sharing such an intimate time can be difficult, but it would undoubtedly bless others. I would very much like to hear from you.

 

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Jan 18, 2012 9:42 AM Guest BB  says:
I was not there sadly when my husband died but strangers were --a Christian who did not know him at all but was doing CPR on him later told me--"as I worked on him I was praying for him but God spoke to my heart ," You don't have to worry about him ---he's one of Mine!""This not only comforted me but is proof of God's sovereignty , all-knowing,omnipresence,and well-- Divinity-- that He could relate to a total stranger the condition of another man's soul. I already knew that but it speaks to God's power and love!! It is something I did and still can relate to others as proof of the one true God who saves us through faith in His Son ,and proof of an afterlife and spiritual world that while unseen  is active and real."For this momentary,light  affliction is producing for us  an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,while we look not at the things which are seen,but  at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal,but the things which are not seen are eternal.For we know.. if our earthly tent  (our body) is torn down we have a building from God..eternal in the heavens."2 Corith4:17-5:1
Jan 18, 2012 11:11 AM Guest Tammy  says:
My husband's Uncle recently died.  My kids and I were worried because so far as we knew he wasn't saved.  But the minister that preached his funeral said that he had always said that he wouldn't give his life to God until he was on his deathbed.  The minister said that he was able to talk to him during his final days and that he had finally given his life to God.  That was such a relief for me and my kids to here.  But also the minister said that he had said to him "Preacher you are probably going to be the one to preach my funeral.  I want you to tell my kids that I'm proud of them.  Tell them that although I haven't set the best example that they have learned from my mistakes and become better people.  Tell them I'm proud of them for that."  I think that was a great gift for a father to give his children. Also I noticed that he seemed to be trying to spend more time with them in the last year.  At the funeral home there were a lot of recent pictures.  It seemed he knew it was serious before he was even diagnosed with cancer and he made sure that he had plenty of pictures with family, especially his kids and grandkids.  What a blessing!!!
Jan 18, 2012 4:52 PM Guest Debbie H  says:
My mom passed away on Oct. 28th, 2011.  I was blessed to be by her side the last few days.  Mom smiled radiantly as she peacefully waited for Jesus to take her home.  While she knew that her absence would be hard on me, she was expectantly waiting for the transition to heaven.  I sat by her side filling myself up with her love.  By this time in my life I was able to appreciate mom for who she was without any blemishes.  God had melded our hearts together. Her last words to me were, "thank you, thank you sooo much."  I knew she was thanking me for all I had done for her over the years as well as just being with her in her last earthly days.  I will always remember that time as God gave me the desire of my heart, to be with mom as Jesus carried her one step across the threshold to heaven.
Jan 18, 2012 4:56 PM Guest Flo  says:
My mother (a Christian) passed away when I was in my early 20's.  I wasn't able to be there when she died but her best friend and pastor were at her hospital bedside.  I was picking up my sister from the airport in another city so we could both go to be with her.  When we finally arrived at the hospital and they told us of her passing, the pastor shared her last moments with us.  Just before she passed on, she said, "Do you hear that?"  No, said the pastor.  She went on to say, "I hear angels singing, I think they are coming to take me home". Then she was gone.  It was such a comfort to hear that happened for her.  God promises to be with us to the end of the age.  I'm so thankful for that in these dark times we are entering.  Also, my sister told me she heard mom praying as we were growing up that we would marry pastors.  Mom did not see that come to fruition, but after we both got married, our husbands went into the ministry.  The prayers of a righteous man/woman availeth much!  Oh and as a side note, mom's pastor had her deathbed experience put in the devotional book "Our Daily Bread". Now, looking back over all those years gone by, I see that mom was teaching us by example, to trust God for all of life' details even to the very end!
Jan 18, 2012 8:26 PM Guest Linda S.  says:

My wonderful Christian Daddy passed away Nov. 6, 2011.  He was 90 years & had pulmonary fibrosis. Dad had been a Christian since his youth.  He was a Gideon, a deacon, & held about every position in the church at one time or another.  His biggest joy came from the gospel which he did ALL the time.  We knew the end was coming soon and we talked about meeting at the Eastern Gate when I go to meet him some day.  I was blessed to spend his last night with him. That evening mom commented about a a good Christian friend of his that had just died and another that was very sick.  I said they must all be planning on going together to party & grinned at him & he looked back at me & grinned.  The best way I know to describe it was that my dad was in a party mood that whole last night.  Mom & I kept trying to get him to go to sleep, but he was wide awake.  We were all laying in bed trying to get him to calm down, but he was just so awake & happy.  A couple of times, he took our hands and just kissed them.  Then he pulled my mom over & planted a big kiss on her.  He laughed & teased with me all night long.  He was so happy & wasn't feeling any pain.  About 2:30 am I called their nurse, neighbor over because I didn't know how to get him to go to sleep.  We moved him to a chair, turned on the TV & then we all stepped out of the room for a minute.  When the nurse & I stepped back in to check on him, he leaned forward & asked, "Where'd everybody go?"   It was like that all night.  My brother & my daughter & her husband arrived a little later that day.  Dad laughed & entertained them as well.  About 3 pm I had to go take a nap while there were others to take care of dad.  It took me awhile to relax enough to go to sleep.  I was enjoying listening to them all laugh & was thanking God that they had that time together. I heard Dad tell my brother he had to go to the bathroom--that was a big job but I told myself I was off duty & must have gone right to sleep.  The next thing I knew my husband was running in the room saying my dad at taken his last breath.  I couldn't believe it--I had just been listening to them.  He told my brother & son-in-law who were helping him, "I'm so tired." and dropped.  That was it.  The time was 3:35 p.m.  I don't know what my Dad knew or saw that last 24 hours, but he had to have known he was leaving us soon.  He was so happy!  I stop & think about him & try to be sad and I just can't.  That last night was the biggest blessing Dad & the Lord could have given me.  I have nothing but happy thoughts as I think of Daddy and that last night together. In fact, I can't help but grin every time I remember that night.  How I look forward to seeing him again--at that Eatern gate!
Jan 18, 2012 7:34 PM Guest CG  says:

My Dad passed away on September 11, 2011.

 

He had Parkinson's so was unable to communicate toward the end of his life.  My sons and I were able to play music for him over the phone while he was "going home"  We were amazed that our phone's battery lasted for almost an hour and he died while we were still playing.  What a privilege it was for God to allow us to be with him as he went home!  We live in Virginia and he was in Washington State so we couldn't be there in body, but were so blessed to be with him through the phone lines.

 

God did so many things to show He was in complete control of calling his child home.  It was truly a time of celebration.  Dad is now able to talk and walk and dance again.  I am so happy for him and am looking forward to being together again someday.

 

We had been in Washington for my neices wedding and we had all had pictures taken with Dad in August.  What a blessing that is now!
Jan 18, 2012 8:21 PM Guest mary dw  says:

My first husband died of a brain tumor in June, 1988.  He had been mentally disorientated during the last 3 months.  During his last hours on earth he raised his arm in an upward motion like he was reaching for something.  Since he was unable to communicate with me I wondered what he was doing.

In 1996, I was with Dad when he died.  During his final hours he also raised his arm like he was reaching for something.  I asked Dad if he saw the angles and he said "Yes",  Then I asked if he saw Jesus and he said "Yes."  I laid down and watched him, but I became curious if he was mentally alert.  I asked him if he knew who I was and he said, "yes, Mary."  It was the sweetest, most tender way I had ever heard him say my name.  It was a sad time, but I was so blessed to share that time with Dad and my new husband.
Jan 18, 2012 8:27 PM Guest Gwen  says:
While I have no story to share, I wanted to use this opportunity to say thanks to you, Jim, for sharing such a poignant story.  I intend to memorize the words of Joan Batura, for they are precious, and are exactly what I would want to say to my loved ones at that time of my "promotion to glory".  (LOVE that terminology!)  Keep up your wonderful work on these blogs and all that you do for Focus.  May I also add how impressed we were with the John 3:16 commercial you put together in just a few days for the Bronco playoff game?  WOW!  Did you wow the nation with that!
Jan 18, 2012 9:05 PM Guest Terri  says:

Just today, at Bible Study, I told the story of how my mother's diagnosis with cancer brought me closer to Jesus.  When I learned of her cancer, I turned to prayer.  My mom's faith was so comforting and inspiring.  At the time, my faith was immature but my mom's was mature.  She was ready to "go home" and would tell us how she was ready to "go home".  What a blessing that was to me!  Her last words to me were, "Thank you for all you did".  I replied, "I didn't do anything".  The last thing I ever heard her say was her reply, "Your prayers helped."  Thanks, Mommy, for blessing me as you journeyed HOME.  And thanks to Paul for sharing his story with the Focus on the Family family.
Jan 19, 2012 7:02 AM Guest Carol F  says:
My Father, lived a pretty ungodly life.  I had been saved and Spirit filled since I was 11 yrs old and had prayed fervently for my "Daddy" all through the years and he knew it.  I would talk to him about the Lord and give him things to read.  On occassion, sent things to him while he was in federal prison, etc.  When I was 32 yrs old, my Dad was very ill so my husband and I were called to rush home (7 hrs away).  He had gone into a coma. When I arrived at the hospital in the early morning hours I sat beside his hospital bed, took his hand and began to pray for him, very softly.  He opened his eyes for the first time in many hours and spoke.  He said "ladybug your praying for me aren't you" and then he began to pray and repent.  I never said another word directly to him, because he was praying....for himself and then for his children...all of us.  After about an hour of crying & repenting before the Lord, he took a deep breath and said "thank you Jesus" and closed his eyes.   Never spoke again to anyone, except Jesus....when he would roll over in the bed for the next several hours....he would simply take a deep, cleansing breath and say "thank you Jesus".   I wept and praised my Father God for hearing and answering my prayers  of many years and saving my Daddy.  He went to be with the Lord a few hours later with "thank you Jesus", his last words.  That was my blessing!  I know where he is and know I will see him again.   Don't give up, don't quit praying for your loved ones.  Our God is faithful to hear and answer!!
Jan 19, 2012 11:29 AM Guest Annette H.  says:
When Dad was in ICU, it was only the 2nd time in his long, healthy life that he had been hospitalized.  Mom & someone else from the family were with him everyday.  When he was moved from ICU to a regular room on Saturday & we rejoiced because we thought the move meant he was getting better.  Mom planned to attend our regular Sunday morning service & then spend the day with him.  We thought it was strange that his Dr. called Mom Sunday morning & asked if she was coming to the hospital that day.  She said she planned to go right from church.  What we didn't know was that Dad was at the end of his life, but apparently his Dr. knew.  Right after church, Mom walked into his room with the oldest grandson, Dad turned to her & gave her a radiant smile, & then left with Jesus.  It was precious.  I truly believe that Dad was there with Jesus & asked Him to wait until Mom came in for their last good bye.
Jan 19, 2012 11:36 AM Guest Betsy P.  says:
Thank you so much for these beautiful testimonies. I was a Hospice nurse for 11 1/2 years and observed many deaths. Sometimes, people would see angels or wake from a coma and pray blessings on their loved ones. When my mother was declining in health, I was in the Hospice office one day, and prayed, "Father, I am so busy here, how am I going to take care of my mother?" I lived in N.C.and she lived in Michigan. The Lord arranged it so that my position at Hospice ended, and I was able to spend 6 months of my mother's last 1 1/2 years with her. In August before she died on February 18, 2001, my mother was visiting my husband and I before she went on a beach vacation with us. One day, she announced to me, "Bets, I feel that my life is over. I don't have anymore goals. I don't want to live to be old. [she was 88] I just want to go Home to be with Jesus." At the time, it was difficult for me to hear her "swan song", but later it was such a blessing to know that this was her desire. Because, when she fell in the night at our house, and developed a bleed in her brain, there were no questions as to whether or not we should perform "extraordinary measures" to keep her alive. The night before she fell, my mom's last words to me before she went to bed were, "You've been a wonderful daughter." I've had the opportunity to share with many people my mother's expressed desire to go Home to Jesus, and it is always such a beautiful witness of peace at the end of one's life. I praise the name of the One Who is alive and was dead and is alive forevermore, the Resurrection and the Life!
Jan 19, 2012 11:57 AM Guest Renee  says:

My Dad passed away in Sept. 2002 and my Mom Nov. 2010.  I wanted to be with them both during this time so I asked the Lord "Can I be with them during that time since I wasn't there for their births?"  He granted me the distinct honor to be present with each of them during that time. 

 

With both of them I remember saying, "I will see you later, we (me and my two brothers) will be ok" and they both agreed.  It is so refreshing, hopeful and comforting to know that we will see each other in Heaven.  They both gave their lives to the Lord late in life but that doesn't matter.  The fact is that they are His!  I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss them both terribly...but as time goes by I realize more and more the joy they are both experiencing now with God.  I'm starting to let go of the experience of watching them pass but will never forget the honor I was given to be with them both!  

Jan 23, 2012 12:10 PM Guest Natalie  says:

Thank you for sharing this moment that Mrs Joan Batura had with her son Paul.  How sweet a mom to take care of her son's heart.

This brought back so strongly the last night I with my grandfather who was dying lung cancer.  He received the Lord as his Savior very late in life.  We had prayed for him for many years.  It was so beautiful had the Lord changed him and how he was so focused to serve at his church and brothers in Christ.  I loved to spend the night with my grandparents (even though I was in my twenties), because I got to stay up and talk with him.  Oh how he had changed.

The last night in the hospital before he "graduated" to heaven, he was struggling to breathe and could not swallow or talk, but he had such a gentle look on his face.  I knew something was up.  So I moved over to the corner of the room next to grandpa Belding's bed.  Now noone was behind me because my back was next to the wall.  I had my hand on Grandpa's shoulder and lovingly rubbing it.  Knowing that Grandpa was saved and had Christ in his heart - I was thinking to myself and not saying a word out loud - that I knew our Lord had sent his angels to help my Grandpa.  I was wondering where in the room full of our family members where were they standing.  As soon as I thought this - my grandpa gently raised his gaze up and over me and grinned and nodded his head.  Then it felt like someone had gripped both of my arms above my elbows and then gently patted my arms.  I knew then that my grandpa was going to be ushered into heavens glory very soon.  Seeing the look on my grandpa's face and the peace was so wonderful and filled my heart with readiness to see him again in heaven.

Thank you for bringing this memory back to me once again - you see my grandpa gratuated almost twenty years ago.  Thank you and Lord bless you.

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